Beach girl

That seems like a huge leap of logic. People can be living full and satisfying lives, and still be upset and angry about any number of personal things, including deafness, their weight, their vision problems, their lack of a mate - or the presence of a mate they no longer like, their inability to have children, or the way their children turned out, their income level, etc., etc.

Most of us are a complex mix of things we like about our lives and things we don't like. This man is disagreeing with one writer. It seems quite extreme to then accuse him of not having a "full and satisfying life" because of that disagreement.

Deafness

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Beowulf

Some people need to get a grip.

Beach girl

Um, no doubt. I can think of a few...

jillio

The anger and the bitterness are still apparent. And he is still directing it toward the Deaf community, which is unnacceptable.

jillio

One who has accepted their deafness and is living a full and satisfying life with their deafness has let go of the anger over having become deaf. The way this man disparages even the idea of Deaf Culture, much less it's value to many, many deaf around the world, is evidence of a lack of acceptance over his own loss. He is entitled to be as angry as he chooses to be. He is not, however, entitled to spread his anger all over a culture.

Beach girl

He was directing his disagreement toward Lane. Does everyone have to agree with Lane, lockstep, in order to "not spread his anger all over a culture?"

jillio

And what topic that Lane discusses was he referring to? Deaf Culture. Chances are great that Lane is the only author he has read on the topic of Deaf Culutre. His disagreement was such that I doubt seriously that he has read any other of the numerous authors that agree with and support Lane's position.

Beach girl

So anyone who disagrees with Lane is automatically hating Deaf Culture?

jillio

Depends on the topic of the disagreement. In this case it has to do with Deaf Culture. And as I have stated, Lane is probably the only author this man has read on the topic, as there are numerous others, both hearing and Deaf, that support and agree with Lane's position on Deaf Culture.

jillio

Deafness, congenital or otherwise, is a curse. It truncates your social life, makes you appear stupid (uncomprehending) in conversation, frustrates your associates who must speak at you and articulate carefully with endless repetitions. To try to beatify this is to argue the untenable.

Yes, people talk animatedly to each other in American Sign Language — I watch them on the T. But they can’t communicate with the rest of us.

And to answer the question, no. The above words are what makes the man a hater.

TXgolfer

What if he was bullied by the deaf community???? Dunno....maybe he was bullied by a couple of deaf community members and is thinking guilt by association.

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Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. - Romans 12:21


Sometimes at night, I see their faces. I feel the traces they've left on my soul

jillio

Surely you are not suggesting that an entire community of people bullied this man? If he had problems with one or two other individuals, then it has virtually nothing to do with anyone but those individuals.

However, there is no indication that he has been bullied. His opinions are clearly stated. His opinions are regarding the tradgedy of deafness. That is what makes his attitude so apparent.

TXgolfer

Oops double post

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Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. - Romans 12:21


Sometimes at night, I see their faces. I feel the traces they've left on my soul

jillio

See above.

Beach girl

And in his life, it's been a curse. Surely he's allowed to have an opinion about his own life?

Do you have more compassion for people who have a loss in their life in other areas and consider their life poorer for it?

jillio

Then he needs to resrtict it to his life, and not make a pronouncement that is so generally intended.

Quite frankly, you have no idea what my level of compassion is, or the ways in which I assist others in their adjustment issues.

When one considers their life poorer because of a loss, they need to grieve that loss and, eventually accept that a change is not needy of a value judgement of good or bad. A change is a change, period. It is only made good or bad through attitude.

Banjo

It's better to be optimistic than to be pessimistic. People do not want to be around the pessimists. That's the hard truth of life.

Foxrac

I think that my post #53 and #55 are poor taste because I don't understand about this article saying so **** to them.

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In Moto We Trust

jillio

Exactly. Life is what one makes of it through their attitude toward it. See deafness as a curse, and it will be. See it as simply a difference to be lived with, and you will be a much happier and well adjusted person. And chances are, you will have many more friends.

Beowulf

And get invited to more parties. Hee hee.

jillio

No doubt!

TXgolfer

Get called into the office did ya?

__________________
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. - Romans 12:21


Sometimes at night, I see their faces. I feel the traces they've left on my soul

shel90

Look at the title...that says a lot.

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"Wine improves with age. The older I get, the better I like it."

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Bottesini

Anyone want to start a pool on the next late deafened person to leave AD in a snit?

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shel90

If so, then why use the word "you" ?

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"Wine improves with age. The older I get, the better I like it."

--- Anonymous

TXgolfer

Are they being bullied???

__________________
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. - Romans 12:21


Sometimes at night, I see their faces. I feel the traces they've left on my soul

Bottesini

No idea. Looks like going both ways to me. Bully, bully back. Vacation and I have been out having fun. Just came back to see this.

It seems emotions are running high.

I really want my authorities on Deaf culture to be Deaf. So that leaves me with no place in this conversation.

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Foxrac

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In Moto We Trust

TXgolfer

__________________
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. - Romans 12:21


Sometimes at night, I see their faces. I feel the traces they've left on my soul

Beach girl

That's a pretty common way that people speak. "Well, you know how it is, I just can't get organized these days," for instance. He could have used "one," but that would sound teddibly British of him, wouldn't it? One wouldn't want to sound non-American, would one? Or should I have used "one" - "Does one have more compassion for others who have suffered a loss...?"

Bottesini, nah, you should be so lucky - I'm not going to leave AD in a snit. ;-)

If you're talking about the title on Osgood's letter, you can't go by the title; that was undoubtedly put in by the editor of the "letters to the editor" page. The letter-writer doesn't have anything to do with it, normally.

It seems to me that he is being judged and found wanting by people who are two or three generations younger than he is, and who probably have a lot more experience in deaf culture than he would ever be expected to have had, at his age and having lost some or most of his hearing as an adult, not a child.

Plus, anyone age 60 or younger has had a LOT more technology, plus ADA-mandated assistance, available during your working lives than what this man has had; your experiences are much, much different.

To judge his life, based on a handful of sentences, as not being full and satisfying seems really beyond the pale. He is talking about ONE aspect of his life; if he's 85 and still riding the subway in Boston, I'd guess he's still involved in life and is hardly in retreat to the rocking-chair mode, grumbling away.

My dad fought in WWII. He came back minus the sight in one eye and minus most of one thumb and several fingertips, due to having been shot. He didn't go around moaning about it, but I'm sure he would rather have had his complete sight and his complete hand. If someone had written an article saying or implying that he should hope his children were born one-eyed and fingerless, he would have popped a gasket.

If they had said "Well, it's only a loss if you think of it that way," he also would have laughed in your face. Losing the sight of one eye, and the dexterity of his hand, was definitely a loss. It didn't define his life, but it was a loss from what he was before he was shot.

And if someone had accused him of not having a full and satisfying life, that would have been a joke, too, as he was involved in all sorts of activities, was happily married, had 4 kids, etc.

Unfortunately he did die all too young, at age 43, but that could be blamed more on smoking too much, which might or might not have had anything to do with his WWII service.

So I have some sympathy and some understanding for this guy. He sounds like my dad and like others of his generation who came back minus sight, hearing, fingers or limbs, and perhaps like the wounded vets who are returning now. They can deal with loss; they soldier on regardless, live their lives as best they can. But don't tell them they need to join a new culture that is foreign to their current lives, or hope their children will be the same.

To someone who has these losses as an adult, it is just not the same as someone who has lived with it all their lives and made adaptations early on.