Deaf culture as point of pride? It’s more a curse - Page 2

**KarissaMann05** · 04-18-2011, 11:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TXgolfer

He is late deaf.....many late deaf people are treated poorly by the deaf community. Some take it personally. I made some great friends at NSAD but I also met a few jerks. At the Austin DHH I encountered almost nothing but jerks and almost got into a fight. If he has only encountered the jerks I can see how he might feel this way. Being LD is tough. You have to have thick skin because not only are you having to adapt to a different life, you have to deal with losing friends and family members who just can't deal with the communication barrier while trying to join a new group and learn their language. That group isn't always the most welcoming either. To me I think it is pretty closeminded to judge this man for his opinion. A better response IMO would be to ask what happened to make him feel this way.....perhaps the deaf community deserves some of the blame.

That is my 2 cents.

If someone want to blame, it would be me, not them. Yes, I would rather to take all that blame from Mr. Lane to put it on me instead of the Deaf community (those Deaf people and us). But if someone have a lot of bad experiences from few Deaf groups, then don't make it our faults.

Funny, I'm frustrate while I read it... O.o

But I commend Mr. Lane for his service. I just wish he could find some friendly Deaf groups... It would be better a bit more...

Buffalo · 04-18-2011, 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hohtopics

He doesn't speak for ALL that were born deaf. He certainly doesn't speak for me!

In what regard Harlan Lane didn't speak for you? Just curious.

Buffalo · 04-18-2011, 06:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beach girl

That was what Lane said, right, about deaf mothers wanting deaf babies the same way that Hispanic mothers want Hispanic babies? That struck me as being a strange comment too, all the way around.

I don't find that strange. It tells me that Deaf is a culture thing rather than just a disability. I don't have kids but I can imagine the situation I would be in. Bookended by hearing people (my parents and my children) who might not have high regard for deaf people. That would cause me to be stressed out. A deaf child would be more of an ally.

**TXgolfer** · 04-18-2011, 06:40 PM

I can't imagine a parent "wanting" their child to be deaf....

Miss-Delectable · 04-18-2011, 07:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TXgolfer

I can't imagine a parent "wanting" their child to be deaf....

Well, there are some who do. For example a deaf lesbian couple wanted a deaf child, so they got sperm donation from a deaf man with at least 5 generation worth of deafness in the family tree. Result: deaf baby.

For me, I only want a healthy child.

Beach girl · 04-18-2011, 08:13 PM

The "wanting a deaf child like a Hispanic woman wants Hispanic babies" struck me as strange on all levels. For instance, I'm Italian by background. I didn't seek out an Italian man to marry; I ended up with a Brit. We didn't have children, but if we had, they would have been a mix of the both of us. I wouldn't be looking to clone myself.

**shel90** · 04-18-2011, 08:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TXgolfer

I can't imagine a parent "wanting" their child to be deaf....

Some people are different from you. That's what makes people interesting.

***naisho*** · 04-18-2011, 08:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TXgolfer

I can't imagine a parent "wanting" their child to be deaf....

It's all about an interest. In this case, there is a visualization I hear from time to time that Deaf culture is slowly dying on its way out, one way to save it is by genetics, keep reproducing with people who are deaf by genes. That means keeping the hearing world out of Deaf marriages..

Not everyone follows it, though.

**TXgolfer** · 04-18-2011, 10:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss-Delectable

Well, there are some who do. For example a deaf lesbian couple wanted a deaf child, so they got sperm donation from a deaf man with at least 5 generation worth of deafness in the family tree. Result: deaf baby.

For me, I only want a healthy child.

That would be my wish as well....

deafdyke · 04-18-2011, 10:57 PM

Quote:

an't imagine a parent "wanting" their child to be deaf....

Overall, all in all it is a very benign condition. You can ADAPT to it. For us, hearing is nice but it's not.....VITAL. If a Deaf couple has a Deaf baby, that means that a culture and ASL will live on.....It's like if a Navajo couple has a Navajo baby it means Navajo culture will live on and so on.

deafdyke · 04-18-2011, 11:01 PM

Tx healthy can mean deaf, or blind or even wheelchair user. Those are disabilties that can be ADAPTED to and lived with.

Beach girl · 04-18-2011, 11:05 PM

True, but it seems cruel to deliberately set out to create a child with those conditions.

The whole idea of "designer babies" gives me the creeps, anyway.

Miss-Delectable · 04-18-2011, 11:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deafdyke

Tx healthy can mean deaf, or blind or even wheelchair user. Those are disabilties that can be ADAPTED to and lived with.

You've got a good point. However, the Govt and the Medical community will just view the child as disabled, something that needs fixing, and not take the healthy part in consideration.

**KarissaMann05** · 04-18-2011, 11:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss-Delectable

You've got a good point. However, the Govt and the Medical community will just view the child as disabled, something that needs fixing, and not take the healthy part in consideration.

Yeah... Even if your child is so healthy and have a disability, they still think your child is a poor thing. No matter what.

**TXgolfer** · 04-18-2011, 11:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deafdyke

Tx healthy can mean deaf, or blind or even wheelchair user. Those are disabilties that can be ADAPTED to and lived with.

If my child is/was disabled....yeah we would live on and adapt. I wouldn't wish for it though.

But by healthy I am pretty sure Miss D and I were referring to breathing and not sick

Miss-Delectable · 04-19-2011, 05:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TXgolfer

But by healthy I am pretty sure Miss D and I were referring to breathing and not sick

Yep, that's right.

Hohtopics · 04-19-2011, 08:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buffalo

In what regard Harlan Lane didn't speak for you? Just curious.

He just doesn't speak for all of the deaf. As simple as that.

deafdyke · 04-19-2011, 07:41 PM

Quote:

True, but it seems cruel to deliberately set out to create a child with those conditions.

Um why? Why is hearing/sight/mobilty so important? You have to understand that the kid will NEVER know what it's like to hear as a hearing person or see as a sighted person.
It's not about having an "impairment" Rather it's like the difference between male vs female or gay vs straight.

AlleyCat · 04-19-2011, 07:48 PM

Being deaf vs. hearing or sighted vs. blind is nothing like the difference between male vs. female or gay vs. straight.

Bebonang · 04-19-2011, 09:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beach girl

True, but it seems cruel to deliberately set out to create a child with those conditions.

The whole idea of "designer babies" gives me the creeps, anyway.

Then why the hearing people want deaf children to have surgery for CI to make them hear if not necessary? I have a hearing son, but it would be nice if I had a deaf child so that Deaf Culture and ASL will live on. No, it is not cruel, but yes, it would make any difference if we have a healthy child. That is important. There are some deaf couple who would rather have a deaf child to carry out the gene culture. I have a deaf friend from Minnesota. She married her deaf husband and they have three deaf sons. So that mean the deaf sons carry the gene into the Deaf Culture and ASL. I was jealous of her for having this. Oh, well. That is the way we have hearing children (CODA). So stop being so dramatic.

jillio · 04-19-2011, 09:30 PM

The ramblings of a bitter and angry old man who never managed to find the courage or the strength to adapt and embrace. Sad situation. He lives in life in such misery when it isn't necessary at all.

All of this man's kind always go off on Harlan Lane. They seem to think that he is a turn coat for being hearing yet supporting the idea of deaf culture. They would think he was wonderful if he wrote about how miserable the Deaf are, and how they are so impaired and unable to live a full life.

IMO, if one does not live a full life, no matter their circumstances, it is no one, or any thing's fault but their own. Especially when it is deafness that is the condition being blamed.

**TXgolfer** · 04-20-2011, 12:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jillio

IMO, if one does not live a full life, no matter their circumstances, it is no one, or any thing's fault but their own..

Wow!

Gabby? Bryan Stow? Tyler Clementi?

**Foxrac** · 04-20-2011, 12:45 AM

Nevermind, just poor taste comment.

**TXgolfer** · 04-20-2011, 12:49 AM

Uh-oh

**Foxrac** · 04-20-2011, 12:54 AM

Nevermind, just poor taste comment.

**Foxrac** · 04-20-2011, 01:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TXgolfer

He is late deaf.....many late deaf people are treated poorly by the deaf community. Some take it personally. I made some great friends at NSAD but I also met a few jerks. At the Austin DHH I encountered almost nothing but jerks and almost got into a fight. If he has only encountered the jerks I can see how he might feel this way. Being LD is tough. You have to have thick skin because not only are you having to adapt to a different life, you have to deal with losing friends and family members who just can't deal with the communication barrier while trying to join a new group and learn their language. That group isn't always the most welcoming either. To me I think it is pretty closeminded to judge this man for his opinion. A better response IMO would be to ask what happened to make him feel this way.....perhaps the deaf community deserves some of the blame.

That is my 2 cents.

Most deaf communities are just mostly drama that you have to deal with them and it is pain ass too. I know some deaf people, even born deaf too stay away from deaf communities and have full involvement in hearing world. For me, I got used with deaf community and know how to deal with drama for many years.

Hohtopics · 04-20-2011, 07:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jillio

The ramblings of a bitter and angry old man who never managed to find the courage or the strength to adapt and embrace. Sad situation. He lives in life in such misery when it isn't necessary at all.

All of this man's kind always go off on Harlan Lane. They seem to think that he is a turn coat for being hearing yet supporting the idea of deaf culture. They would think he was wonderful if he wrote about how miserable the Deaf are, and how they are so impaired and unable to live a full life.

IMO, if one does not live a full life, no matter their circumstances, it is no one, or any thing's fault but their own. Especially when it is deafness that is the condition being blamed.

I don't know. From what I've gathered, looks like this guy has already lived a pretty full life thus far, being a WWII pilot and currently being 85 years old and all. Besides, do you really know what is it like to be late deafened?

jillio · 04-20-2011, 01:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TXgolfer

Wow!

Gabby? Bryan Stow? Tyler Clementi?

What about them? It would appear that you, again, misinterpreted my statement. Let's break it down. Those who have a disability can choose to let that disability control them and limit them, or they can live a full and satisfying life with the disability. It is a choice.

Here's a question for you:

Stephen Hawking?

jillio · 04-20-2011, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hohtopics

I don't know. From what I've gathered, looks like this guy has already lived a pretty full life thus far, being a WWII pilot and currently being 85 years old and all. Besides, do you really know what is it like to be late deafened?

If he was currently living a full and satisfying life, he would not be so angry aabout his own deafness. His anger and bitterness is blatant in his resentment held against the concept of Deaf Culture.

I assist clients in adjustment to all sorts of disabilities, and help their families adjust, as well. One can accept change and live a full and satisfying life incorporating that change into their life, or they can fight against it, and focus on the ways in which they have been limited. The first is the healthy way,the second increases the functional limitations and usually destroys relationships in the process so that one ends up alone and lonely, complaining that the disability is the problem.

**TXgolfer** · 04-20-2011, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jillio

What about them? It would appear that you, again, misinterpreted my statement. Let's break it down. Those who have a disability can choose to let that disability control them and limit them, or they can live a full and satisfying life with the disability. It is a choice.

Here's a question for you:

Stephen Hawking?

Heh, I actually agree with this post. But in the previous post you said "no matter their circumstances".

People can certainly choose how they deal with their deafness. Bullying is different. Some LDs experience "bullying" from the deaf community. Perhaps this man did.

Then again maybe he didn't get the. Counseling he needed. Wouldn't be surprising given the horrible way we care for our veterans.

Fact is....none of us know what this man experienced so it's pretty unfair to judge him by what he said.

04-18-2011, 06:40 PM	#34 (permalink)
TXgolfer Dream Weaver Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Everywhere Posts: 18,061	I can't imagine a parent "wanting" their child to be deaf.... __________________ Ps 109:8 let his days be few,and let another take his office -KJV-

04-18-2011, 08:13 PM	#36 (permalink)
Beach girl Registered User Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: northern Virginia in winter; NC in summer Posts: 3,760	The "wanting a deaf child like a Hispanic woman wants Hispanic babies" struck me as strange on all levels. For instance, I'm Italian by background. I didn't seek out an Italian man to marry; I ended up with a Brit. We didn't have children, but if we had, they would have been a mix of the both of us. I wouldn't be looking to clone myself. TXgolfer likes this.

04-20-2011, 12:45 AM	#53 (permalink)
Foxrac Need Stormtroopers? Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Zaphias Posts: 33,215	Nevermind, just poor taste comment. __________________ In Moto We Trust Last edited by Foxrac; 04-20-2011 at 04:08 PM.

04-20-2011, 12:49 AM	#54 (permalink)
TXgolfer Dream Weaver Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Everywhere Posts: 18,061	Uh-oh __________________ Ps 109:8 let his days be few,and let another take his office -KJV-

04-20-2011, 12:54 AM	#55 (permalink)
Foxrac Need Stormtroopers? Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Zaphias Posts: 33,215	Nevermind, just poor taste comment. __________________ In Moto We Trust Last edited by Foxrac; 04-20-2011 at 04:08 PM.

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04-18-2011, 11:01 PM	#41 (permalink)
deafdyke Registered User Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Trebekistan Posts: 13,237	Tx healthy can mean deaf, or blind or even wheelchair user. Those are disabilties that can be ADAPTED to and lived with.

04-18-2011, 11:05 PM	#42 (permalink)
Beach girl Registered User Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: northern Virginia in winter; NC in summer Posts: 3,760	True, but it seems cruel to deliberately set out to create a child with those conditions. The whole idea of "designer babies" gives me the creeps, anyway.

04-19-2011, 07:48 PM	#49 (permalink)
AlleyCat Registered User Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: In my time zone Posts: 11,098	Being deaf vs. hearing or sighted vs. blind is nothing like the difference between male vs. female or gay vs. straight.

04-19-2011, 09:30 PM	#51 (permalink)
jillio Banned Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 60,296	The ramblings of a bitter and angry old man who never managed to find the courage or the strength to adapt and embrace. Sad situation. He lives in life in such misery when it isn't necessary at all. All of this man's kind always go off on Harlan Lane. They seem to think that he is a turn coat for being hearing yet supporting the idea of deaf culture. They would think he was wonderful if he wrote about how miserable the Deaf are, and how they are so impaired and unable to live a full life. IMO, if one does not live a full life, no matter their circumstances, it is no one, or any thing's fault but their own. Especially when it is deafness that is the condition being blamed.

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