jillio

[quote=typeingtornado19;1212520]And that will most certainly affect their future functioning in a more direct way that an implant will.

Deafness

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typeingtornado19

Forgive me but then where is your respect for your daughters emotional health and self acceptance?

faire_jour

And that is why I don't!

jillio

Again, it wasn't written by a journalist. And HearAgain doesn't just feel their are innaccurracies. There are innacurracies. Scientific, cultural, and linguistic innacurracies.

Nika

[quote=faire_jour;1212507]Telling your child she is inferior and worth pity because of her deafness is a huge blow to her self-esteem. Not to mention you would be hurting a lot of other people by giving them the wrong ideas about deafness. As for her value not being tied up in what others say about her, then please explain why bullying in school leads to self-esteem and confidence issues. Most kids care what others think, especially their own parents. And if their parents are telling them "poor you, you deaf girl," most kids are going to start believing that. It takes us a while to build up the defenses that help us decide whether what we hear and read is true or not, and many children haven't had a chance to build up those defenses yet.

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Love is healing and healing is love.

typeingtornado19

[quote=jillio;1212525]Exactly, screw the implant... i dont care what she does... but why the pity, what reason is there?

Nika

Sorry I don't know why it says typeingtornado19 said that. I quoted faire_jour in my last post.

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Love is healing and healing is love.

jillio

If you are willing to do as you have said you would do, then that is the message your child is getting. Mom will do anything to fix me, because I am not good enough as I am. And that is exactly the message this article portrays.

loml

Excuse me typeingtornado19? You are making your own choices on how to react/interpret the contents of this article.

Care for a cup of tea? (_)D

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- Yogi Bhajan-

Hear Again

that's easy for you to suggest. if i wrote a letter to the editor about EVERY article that had stereotypical or inaccurate information, i'd be a full-time writer.

i used to write letters to the editor in the past, but have given up because it's a futile effort.

how do you know people won't be losing any sleep over this article? you don't know how readers will react and whether or not they will choose to donate money so that this child can receive a second implant.

faire_jour

Geez, I honestly would love for anyone to tell me one thing in this life that I have done that harmed my child's self esteem or emotional "wholeness"......no one? I didn't think so.
I love that as soon as the discussion turns to CI's people pull out this "holistic child approach" stuff. Why do people believe that just because a child want their child to hear they don't care about their emotional welfare?

jillio

And you are refusing to see what the Deaf/deaf on this board see. Why are you so insensitive to their perspective?

Daredevel7

There is a lot of WEIRD misquoting in this thread.

I understand that faire is just saying that she'd do ANYTHING to get what her daughter needs, but where do you draw the line....

Let's say that this article is successful in getting the insurance to get the child implanted the second time. Yay! Success! At this point, Im sure the locals know all about the second implant because its such a "feel good story" correct? Now EVERYONE in her school expects the child to be perfectly "normal" because well... it says so in the article! That's a lot of pressure on a child!

Ever heard of indirect consequences?

Hear Again

thank you, jillio.

Nika

Exactly. We as AD'ers can look at this article and say "what a load of baloney!" because we know something about Deaf culture. But people who have never heard anything about Deaf culture before in their lives have no reason to believe this article is wrong. They have no way of knowing that a Deaf person can function perfectly well in society if they've never met a Deaf person or even read about a Deaf person before in their life.

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Love is healing and healing is love.

jillio

[QUOTE=faire_jour;1212537]Geez, I honestly would love for anyone to tell me one thing in this life that I have done that harmed my child's self esteem or emotional "wholeness"......no one? I didn't think so.
I love that as soon as the discussion turns to CI's people pull out this "holistic child approach" stuff. Why do people believe that just because a child want their child to hear they don't care about their emotional welfare?[/QUOTE

Because, as this article demonstrates, the focus switches from the child's holistic welfare to a narrowed focus on their ears and their mouth.

Hear Again

i'd love to know the answer to that question as well. <mad>

jillio

yw.

shel90

I notice that the hearing and sighted people, with the exception of Jillo, really do not care what it is like to live a life where people look down, discriminate, pity or disrespect u.

Fair Jour...u want your daughter to be hearing and your statements makes it apparent that u aren't on terms with her deafness. Wow...next time, don't come whining about how deaf people percieve u, ok?

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faire_jour

I would do whatever it took to help her. If that means I have to move thosands of miles so she will get a better education, I will. If it means I go to a news organazation to show the horrific conditions of my daughter's school and pled for the public's help in getting a new building I will (already did!) and if it means that I will fight insurance to get her a second CI, I would do that too. Would I approve of this article for my child, no. But I don't know this child, or her family, so I believe they are doing what they can.

jillio

Now you are backpedaling from your original statements.

Nika

Of course most hearing people start out with their deaf child to be hearing. People who have lived their whole lives as hearing (and oblivious to Deaf culture) are just reacting naturally by framing hearing as normal, since that is what is normal for them. But they don't realize that a deaf child is starting from an entirely different place altogether. A deaf child is starting from a place of deafness is normal. A deaf child might want to be hearing, but it's usually a result of societal pressure. Assuming that making your deaf child hearing is caring for his/her well-being is applying the world where hearing is normal. That's what annoys me about parents who give their children CI's without asking them what they would prefer. Each person is coming from their own place and might have a totally different way of looking at it, where normal isn't always set to hearing.

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Love is healing and healing is love.

Hear Again

sometimes children are too young or immature to understand the concept of getting a ci.

faire_jour

You are actually completly wrong. I am glad my daughter is who she is. I wouldn't change her for the world. If I wanted her to be hearing then why would I refuse to give up ASL? Why would she be sitting in an all Deaf church right this second?
What I want is for her life to be as productive, successful, and yes, easy, as it can be. I want her to be able to do whatever she wants and I am willing to do whatever it takes to get her there. I am her guardian, advocate, and protector.

faire_jour

How so?

loml

Hear Again - You are right, I don't know. When I stated that the genral public "won't be loosing any sleep", I mean that the general public will not interpret the article as you have, simply based on their experiences.

Will they feel empathy, quite possibly. Will this feeling of empathy inspire them to donate, again quite possibly.

Hear Again - If one person read you letters, and gained something from your efforts and perspectives, then it was time well spent. Something that is not tanglible perhaps from where you are, but honestly I learn something new about the people here, from every post I read.

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- Yogi Bhajan-

shel90

Ok then I am wrong.

Then why say said screw others like u don't care how much an article like this wud hurt many other deaf/hoh children and adults?

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"Wine improves with age. The older I get, the better I like it."

--- Anonymous

Hear Again

to be honest, sometimes i get tired of educating people and sometimes it isn't worth the effort to educate only one person -- especially since the majority will still believe what they want to believe.

don't get me wrong. i believe in educating the public (i educate them every day about my deafblindness and bipolar), but sometimes it does get emotionally exhausting.

loml

Hear Again - I understand what you are saying.

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- Yogi Bhajan-

faire_jour

Why does the success, failure, CI, or anything of someone else hurt you? Why does one child going to a manistream school hurt all Deaf people? Why does childhood implantation affect Deaf culture? In my perspective, it doesn't. People are doing what they need to, for their children. For example, I have a good friend whose child grew up with ASL and is now refusing to sign because he is hearing so well with his CI. Should she force him to go to a signing school because "It is what's best for Deaf children" or should she let him go to the school that he prefers? Our responsibilty is to our children first, society second.