jillio

Unfortunately, times have not changed.

Deafness

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sallylou

There was as kid here whose parent told him to fight while both bully and target were together. The kid and his parent got arrested. Don't teach your kids to be violent.

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jillio

Agreed. Don't take the term "fight back" literally.

deafdyke

Hell yeah! I still deal with prejudice and dumbassed hearies who think I'm not exactly bright b/c of my voice.

deafskeptic

I deal with people who think the same thing for me except that it's my inablity to understand people as well as others via hearing rather than my voice.

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AJWSmith

I came across this piece of research today that showed deaf/HoH kids who are mainstreamed suffer from greater attachment and individuation problems than deaf children in special programs. It shows (with usual scholarly qualifications) that there's something very damaging for deaf/HoH children raised in a mainstream educational environment - it negatively impacts on their self-esteem and ability to form close intimate relationships as adults. It also quotes another piece of research that shows mainstreamers suffer far more anxiety than deaf children bought up in special education.

Read the full article below:
http://jdsde.oxfordjournals.org/cont.../1/51.full.pdf

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howag

Did you ask the waiter what he was playing at? Could it not have been a mix up? Are you absolutely sure it was because you're deaf that they gave you a chicken thigh? Seems like you jumped to that conclusion.

Sunshine

Howag, I think is because she also blind.

howag

Oh right, well that's different then i guess.

Bottesini

Sunshine is correct it's because I am blind. But you right now are doing something that happens a lot.

You are dismissing my perceptions and saying I jumped to conclusions.

If I go to a restaurant with family members who can obviously tell the difference and my order is correct, but two times I go alone and get a cheap substitution for what I ordered, that is pretty definitive.

People tend to think I am snappish with hearing and late deafened people, but they are the people who would say I jumped to a conclusion after I tried to tell them something they wanted to know.

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howag

Sorry but it's easy to do that because it looks like you have. Did you take it up with the waiter? By not saying anything and not going to the restaurant anymore it looks like you gave up that fight pretty easily. You can't blame the hearing/ late deafened for having slightly ignorant opinions because there aren't exactly an abundance of deaf and blind people in the world. We're not exposed enough to this type of thing and as a result don't know what will offend you.

AlleyCat

And trying to sneakily change out pieces of chicken is okay at any time? Regardless of whether Botts ever said anything or not? Common sense and respect are practical tools.

Sunshine

Give someone cheap substitution for what they ask for simply because you think they not know difference WILL OFFEND.

howag

Well you can assume it was a sneakily done but tbh will we ever know for sure? It could have been a mix up, unlikely but there's no way to definitely rule that out as a possibility.

AlleyCat

A mix-up more than once?

Either you don't want to face that workers there were trying to take advantage of her,

or

That was the worst restaurant ever in terms of customer service because then I will assume at this point that they mix up just about everyone's order then, so who would blame Botts for not going back anyway?

posts from hell

The defending in here is off the charts.

sallylou

Wirelessly posted (droid)

AWS, thanks for that info. Very enlightening.

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jillio

I have been stating this since I became a member of AD, and have posted research backing it up.

It is nice to see that someone is actually reading the research before forming an opinion, though. Good for you!

jillio

So because you don't have direct exposure, it is perfectly okay to attempt to take advantage of others? Shame on you. There is no excuse for this type of behavior.

jillio

You might want to spend some time reading a bit of history on disability.

DeafBadger

Dude, leave it alone. Any attempt at not abiding by an agreement is esentially fraudulant. You agree to pay the restaurant X amount of dollars for a product. They agree to a modification of that product (substitution). That's a contract.

The restaurant failed to abide by that contract. That is fraud.

Fraud is offensive to ANYBODY!

And Botts is saying they pulled this when she was there alone, not when any of her friends or family could catch them in the act. That right there shows the intent of the restaurant.

So... leave it alone already, alright?

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howag

I don't know where you got that from but I wasn't referring to the restaurant's behaviour when I said it was because we don't have enough exposure. I was just referring to ignorant opinions of the hearing.

howag

Mate, all I'm saying is that it looked like she jumped to a conclusion instead of asking what was up when she said:

"A local restaurant tried twice to give me a chicken thigh dinner instead of the breast I asked for as they thought I would be unable to tell the difference. I don't go there anymore."

shel90

Hearing people can be cruel to deaf people. Accept that fact.

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howag

I don't deny it but my original point was that i think times have changed? Not saying that it's all perfect now but i just guessed that it's not as a bad as it once was...

jillio

It was an ignorant opinion that led to this restaurant's employee's behavior. That ignorance, no doubt, stems from a lack of exposure. However, that is no excuse for attempting to take advantage of another.

jillio

Then you need to "guess" again. Better yet, pay attention to what the people who live it every day of their lives are telling you. Just saying, "Times have changed" does nothing but give you an easy excuse for not being concerned and doing your part to make sure that things do change in the future.

jillio

And you are jumping to a conclusion in saying that she jumped to a conclusion. Bott has a lifetime of experience on which to base her conclusion. You do not. So to even question her conclusion is patronizing to say the least.

If you continue to minimize the experience of the deaf and the deaf/blind around here, you are going to have a great deal of difficulty in making friends.

howag

Well how would you describe today's society views the deaf community? Would you say it hasn't moved on at all? I might not be doing a massive amount to make sure things change in the future, but I'm on this website to learn as well...

howag

I'm simply saying that it looked like from the way she described it that she jumped to that conclusion. You say she has a lifetime of experience on which to base her conclusion. Maybe that's the problem. Past experiences could lead to a clouding of judgement and I'm not just talking about the restaurant issue here.