jhintak

Okay so I have posted about a student I tutor previously. But his parents are asking me to help him out. He still has a hard time accepting the fact that he is deaf. He is in constant denial and constantly wishes he was hearing. He has a very stubborn attitude that prevents him from studying or doing anything else.

Do you guys have any suggestions on how to help him psychologically?

He will be seeing a counselor later this year but in the meantime and while he's seeing one I want to be able to be helping him out...

Deafness

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Reba

How old is he? How old was he when he became deaf? What were the circumstances? What language does he use?

How old are you? Has the family specifically requested you to "help" him beyond tutoring? Are you sure your "help" will be welcome?

Jiro

Deaf in denial... help

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Jiro

welcome back. i was wondering where have you been.

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jillio

You should leave the topic of adjustment to disability to the professional he will be saying later this year. Without the proper training, you are likely to do more harm than good, even though you are well intentioned. These issues need to be addressed a specific way and you no doubt are not able to even detect some of the finer points that need to be addressed.

deafdyke

So he's a minimal language skills young adult? I'm actually kind of surprised there aren't services for MLS adults out there.
You might want to suggest his parents look into this program: American School of the Deaf: Adult Vocational Services

Anij

I agree - unless one is trained in the mental health field this is NOT something that should be undertaken by a "tutor", teacher, friend etc (for many reasons, including legal).

This person needs to be seen by a professional able to help with many issues ... and have a CID present for ALL meetings/communication as well as start access for him (and any willing family) to start ASL classes privately and tailored to his needs.

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Hoh/Deaf ~ +120db deaf right , mild/mod flux left & APD
English & ASL ...PAH!!


Ignorance is NOT Bliss

jillio

Agreed on the CID. I am fluent in sign, yet have found it necessary to have a CID present with 2 adult clients I worked with.

deafdyke

What's a CID? Also this article might be of interest: Hands & Voices :: Articles

jillio

Certified Interpreter for the Deaf. They specialize in interpreting home signs, etc. from a strict cultural perpsective in the case of someone who has never been given the opportunity to learn ASL properly and cannot speak. Very specialized field. The one I work with is deaf of deaf.

Reba

I know only of CDI's (Certified Deaf Interpreters).

jillio

Perhaps different areas phrase it differently. When I call to request one, I request a CID, and have yet to have my request confused.

At least one other poster uses the same terminology as I.

Reba

Interesting. The RID national certification (also recognized by NAD) is called CDI. Maybe they are certified by some local or state agency other than RID.

jillio

Maybe it is a state certification. To be honest, I've never checked that. I know that the agency we use does not hire terps of any kind that are not certified, but don't know that they specifically ask for national certification. Would be hard to find a CID or CDI if they were all forced to have national certification. There are only a handful as it is. At least in my area.

marcyp06

Tell his parents he needs to meet with counselor sooner to best help him. Leave the psychological stuff to the professional. The best way YOU can help other than by encouraging his parents to seek out professionals is to just hang out with the kid and be a friend.

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rolling7

Four in Houston
Seventeen in the state of Texas

Reba

If anyone is interested in finding a CDI, here's the national list:

https://www.rid.org/acct-app/index.c...e=&SearchVar=1

It can be sorted by state.

jillio

That is very few, particularly in the areas you listed.

jillio

Cool. Helpful information.

jillio

Excellent advise.

rolling7

It is only a list of RID members. There are others who are certified and ARE NOT RID. Still it is helpful list.

Reba

RID and NAD are the only organizations for national certifications.

jhintak

hey guys,
sorry i wasn't able to address any additional information.

i'm his tutor, and i help him with his english.

he knows asl enough to communicate his ideas, thoughts, and feelings. he's proficient in that area. english, he knows the words well, but he doesn't seem to be able to grasp the english grammar. i'm still working on that.

but what's really hard is that he has a hard time concentrating because he tends to put all his focus, frustration, energy and emotion on him being deaf, and how unhappy he is. i try to encourage him to stay happy and that there are many people who are deaf and are happy, and that that's not what determines happiness.

his parents know this, and they have already arranged a counselor and possibly a psychiatrist later this year. but they want me to help him out in the mean time and during the process. she also wanted me to ask around the web, which is what i'm doing now, to see if anyone else has any tips for situations like these.

he's 22, i'm 21. his personality and attitude, very immature. but mainly because of how stubborn he is. if i try to get him to focus on his assignment or homework, he constantly stops in the middle about every 3-5 minutes and complains about him being sad because he's deaf. and that he's lazy and dumb and boring and lonely because of it. of course i encourage him because again, being deaf doesn't mean any of that. but he tells me that's his decision and not mine to make. his decision being that he wants to be hearing and that conditions of the deaf is sadness.

i do like the idea of being friends with him and hanging out with him. i've been taking him out a bit so he's not so bored at home all the time but he's always embarrassed being out in public because he doesn't like the attention he gets when we are signing back and fourth.

deafdyke

Does he have any connections to the Deaf community? Maybe if he met other dhh people, he'd come out of his shell. Also, tell his parents about that Adult Vocational Program at ASD, and maybe that might help him develop some skills so he could get a job.

Oddball

Obviously, his parents look for easy answers. All I say is to get him counseled as soon as possible. Do not delay.

marcyp06

you need to tell his parents if they are not able to get him couseling sooner you will not be able to help them any longer. this kid sounds severely depressed and this could put you in a bad situation. i stand by my earlier advice, but you really need to talk to the parents.

if theres a deaf community in the area find an activity where there are cute deaf girls, that might help, due to the age lol

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Anij

Sorry Reba - I'm in Canada, here they are CID/CDI (one's an English acronym, the other is French ... here because we're officially French& English bilingual - and ASL/LSQ are also official languages in most/all provinces now as well, using the acronym "CID" or "CDI" will get you an Deaf individual who is an interpreter.

Hope that clarifies things

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English & ASL ...PAH!!


Ignorance is NOT Bliss

Tousi

Speaking of which, that relationship sure turned out to be a farce, didn't it....if you know what I mean....

Anij

You might try working on some ASL poetry/stories with him that specifically allow him to express the emotions he has about being deaf (audiologically) ... perhaps giving a "structured exercise" in which he can channel and focus his feelings will help him with an "outlet" so he can focus better when not working on that specific topic.

I's also really recommend getting him involved (if at all possible) in things like "deaf sports" (in my area there are , deaf volleyball, deaf soccer, deaf swim teams, deaf basketball etc teams that run almost year round - there are also things such as deaf pool/billards &deaf darts teams).

These physical, Group activities have a two-fold purpose...
1) They get him involved with other Deaf people who have a more positive self-image and deaf-image. These people can show him that the real thing that is "stopping him" in achieving his goals/wants/desires etc in life is NOT his deafness, it's his self-limiting-image of himself. The people he meets at these various activities will, hopefully, become more than team mates, they'll become peer mentors, role models - and most importantly friends with a positive view of themselves and others who happen to be Hoh/deaf.

2) Physical activities (when physically possible, and medically safe) that increase heart rate for at least 10-15mins each time are a fantastic way to naturally boast things such as serotonin, adrenaline and other chemicals in the body/brain that improve mood & confidence while reducing stress & anxiety. It can make a dramatic difference on feelings of self-worth, self-image etc. It also provides a physical outlet for stress, and negative feelings ... and may provide yet another "channel" for his negative feelings, in a supportive environment where the negative feelings can slowly be replaces with more positive feelings

Hope this helps.

I still very strongly believe that this person needs to have extensive contact with a mental health professional where a CID/CDI and interpreter are present to ensure that communication is as smooth and stress-free as possible.

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Hoh/Deaf ~ +120db deaf right , mild/mod flux left & APD
English & ASL ...PAH!!


Ignorance is NOT Bliss

jillio

Right.