Deborah

My daughter has completed her first two weeks of high school and LOVES it!! When we went to freshmen orientation, I KNEW we had made the right decision--the whole concept of going to high school with other deaf students, having the opportunities available that are not in most big public schools, and having teachers that REALLY understand deaf education--I LOVE my daughter's school and I LOVE the teachers and staff there!! SO much better than what was available at the local public school!!

Even though it is VERY hard for me to be away from her during the week, we plan to have LOTS of fun together on the weekends. And I honestly don't miss things such as nagging her about getting her homework done(none on weekends!) or spending too much time on the internet(very limited at school and has other things to do on the weekends now). Now, our time together is spent enjoying each other's company instead of dealing with "the daily grind" and our bond is really strong.

She is becoming VERY mature and independent--I am worrying less and less about her future as I see the young woman she is becoming. By the time she graduates, I feel quite certain that she will be prepared to live on her own and make her own way in life. I probably was guilty of "babying her" a bit--now that is less of a possibility. Going to deaf school was probably the best thing for BOTH of us--she can now get the best education possible, and I can begin loosening the "apron strings" a bit so that I can "cut the strings" in a few years when she graduates. That is how it should be, and I think I am handling it pretty well--and so is she!

As for her social life: it couldn't be any better, really. Many activities on campus after school, lots of deaf friends, and a really nice deaf boyfriend, too! She is REALLY picking up ASL REALLY fast!!! I am amazed!! She still talks a lot--"Miss Chatterbox"--but everyone at school seems SO PATIENT with her as she learns to sign--many are in the same boat and are just learning, too! The biggest thing that seems to help her ASL learning is talking to her boyfriend--they both can talk quite well, they both lip read well, and he is very fluent in ASL and helps her a lot. This weekend, they have spent hours on videophone together(we just got ours yesterday)--for some reason, his microphone isn't working and he could hear her but she couldn't hear him, but it didn't stop them from signing and lip reading--as I watch my daughter communicate with him, I am amazed at how well she keeps up!! I think he is very sweet to be patient with her and clarify whenever she doesn't understand, though she seems to understand nearly everything he is signing. They usually text message each other and sometimes they send texts back and forth if there is any confusion while on videophone--I LOVE modern technology!! With my daughter's willingness to learn, patient people such as her friends and boyfriend signing slowly with her, and all of these back-up tools such as lip reading and text messaging--oh, and sometimes I talk to her and she interprets what I am saying to others--communication is just flowing freely for her. I am sure that this is helping her adjust to her new environment--she does not feel left out...she fits right in!

For my daughter, going to a deaf school for high school was absolutely the right decision. She is SO happy there!! And I am equally happy to see that her high school years will be good ones!

Deafness

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CJB

That's wonderful, Deborah. I'm glad to the school switch has been such a positive experience for you and your daughter.

dreama

I'm glad that things are going so well with your daughter.

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jillio

Glad to know that things are working out.

deafdyke

YAY!!!!!! I'm SO glad she is doing so well. Isn't that just THE BEST?
Honestly....THAT is why I encourage parents of dhh kids and teens to look into formal dhh programs/schools rather then regular classes regular school.
As I've said before the reason why many kids with "classic disabilites" can't suceed in public schools is b/ the teachers are mostly just trained to deal with learning disabilites. If a kid with a classic disabilty doesn't suceed with minimal accomodnations, they get lumped in with the " Ummmm who's President Obama?" types who are LEGION in sped.
Execellent! Social issues are SUCH a bugaboo even for the "high acheiver" types.
You really should become an advocate for deaf schools. I do think many parents out there are unaware that a deaf school might be THE spark that really lets their kid suceed. I know that the deaf schools are stereotyped as for " low acheievers" or for only " Deaf extremeists"
I am SO glad that your daughter avoided the HELL I experianced 15 (eeek!) years ago.....and I honestly think that many dhh teens would be a lot happier and do better in a dhh program or a formal school.

shel90

*waving hands in the air*

I am SO happy for you and your daughter.


I work at a deaf school and I see the spark in the kids' eyes when they transfer from a public school. It is heartwarming to see that. I wish more parents would send their children to deaf schools.

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Shel~

"A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

Buffalo

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Bebonang

Me, too. I seconded that it is great that your daughter goes Deaf school, not mainstream school where there is no accommodations for getting ASL interpreters and notetakers. It really help to make life more easier and not too much strain on trying to understand hearing students and hearing teachers. So ASL is the best option to communicate and to understand easily than lipreading. Good job, Mom.

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Miss-Delectable

Am very glad to hear your daughter is now attending a school for the deaf. It sounds like she is fitting in very well and is adapting well to the changes. May she continues to do quite well until she graduates.

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Lissa

Wonderful!! I loved being in deaf school for primary(elementary)

I would prob have gone to a deaf school if there was one nearby for high school, but my high school was the next best option, a school with a HIU unit with CSW's, 'terps, etc and lots of help for deaf students and help meeting IEP goals

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Deborah

About the advocating--I have plans to talk to people I know in the "oral camp" regarding this. For years, we were told that "mainstream is usually the best thing for oral deaf kids"--"once they can hear and speak, they should fit in with everyone else"--yadda yadda yadda. My daughter CAN hear well with hearing aids and CAN speak well and DID fit in pretty well in the mainstream--and what did she say: I WANT TO GO TO A DEAF HIGH SCHOOL, MOM!!!! So, who am I to dney her what SHE wanted? So I Do have plans to advocate--with my daughter by my side speaking for herself about HER feelings as a deaf teenager. All of those "professionals" need to be "taught" what is REALLY the best thing--to let the PARENTS and the DEAF KIDS decide what is BEST for their individual situation. All of the "propaganda" and "X-Y-Z is the best thing for deaf kids" talk has got to stop. My friends from the AVT and oral background need to see how sometimes you have to stop listening to what the "professionals" say and trust their OWN instincts about their own children--and to trust their children as they get older and can express what THEY want out of their education. Yes--I have BIG plans to advocate--and I know some parents who will definitely listen to me and my daughter. We will see what a small group of people who "converted" from "oral thinking" to "how great is it to be part of the Deaf community" kind of thinking can do. Basically--my daughter's generation is a doing a lOT to bring BOTh sides of the issue together--and I think that is AWESOME!

jillio

Get out there and advocate!! You go, girls!!

Jolie77

I think it is wonderful now that you and your daughter both have acknowledged that this is the right direction to take. It sounds like things are improving for the better not just for your daughter but for you as well.

It's always nice to hear that an outcome can be positive.

I am sure, in time, your daughter will flourish to be even better than what is expected to be.

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deafdyke

Deborah.....I am SO excited about that. I think part of the problem is that a lot of the professionals see the REALLY high overachiever kids (the ones who have ALL AP/ Honors courses and go to Name Brand University) and they think that ALL dhh kids can acheive that. You really should emphasize that you're advocating for a continum of academic placements.....Don't make it sound like you're bashing the regular classes/regular school option....Say that you think that dhh kids have the right to a full contimum of educational placements ranging from res school to total mainstream with minimal support.
You could also do the full toolbox argument.......It's very useful for a dhh kid to have speech skills.......but a lot of them could do even better by concentrating on visual processing (which goes without saying is a strengh for most dhh kids) They'd be able to function both WITH and without their hearing aids and CIs.....
One piece of ammo you could use is my essay in this anthology of writing by hoh people.
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It's about how while speech skills are a good thing, they really don't allow dhh kids " perfect equality" when matched up against hearing kids.
You should also talk to parents of kids who while they're doing OK in the mainstream, they could do even better in a dhh program/school.
I'm very excited!!! Maybe this will break the back of AG Bad as " oral chaunavists"

deafdyke

Oh.......and are you a member of the American Society For Deaf Children yet?
While it's awesome that you're working to try to change AG Bad, it might be nice to belong to an organization that is explictly ASL and Deaf School friendly. Seriously......virtually ALL the ASL friendly organizations are also OK with speech skills.
Hopefully you'll be able to change the mentality at AG Bad. I honestly think that they really don't understand that most ASL-users are OK with speech skills. Rather they are against the attitude that the stereotypical AG Bad type displays....that is that b/c they are orally educated/mainstreamed they are "better" then ASL-users/Deaf School attendees.

deafdyke

Deborah...........I would LOVE to help you advocate. I honestly think that the experts and some head up their ass advocates do not understand the HELL that mainstreaming can be. We need a continuum of placements, and not always assume that regular school with regualr classes with minimal accomodnations is the best placement for kids. One size does not fit all.