kimpossible

I couldn't agree more. Hmm does anyone ever realize that, within this sort of social hierarchy that exists in public schools, the people willing to "give you a chance" are the "desperate" ones, i.e. (at the risk of insulting some people maybe), the loners. But I don't mean to suggest that these people aren't worthy of being your friends; it's just that, because of this whole social complication, befriending people at the bottom of the proverbial social latter even further distances you from making more friends. When people start to notice that you're friends with such and such, it subconsciously confirms to them that you weren't worth befriending in the first place - uncool by association. Fortunately, the friends you do make (if any, that is!) are the ones that last, and I made a small but tight circle of friends in high school, even if we were the losers.

in elementary school, I was literally friendless for about 3 years and I realize now how seriously depressed I was around those times. It took me until the past year or two to get over what I experienced way back when I was a kid. I even felt shameful of my hearing loss until about midway through high school, and I'm still not very good when it comes to self advocacy.

Deafness

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Miss-Delectable

Heh, so schools are all the same for most of us. I'm glad we're not in high school any longer. I pity the future generations, which might be our kids, going to school and facing pressures & bullying.

Hey, I know what you're undergoing at the art school, too. In my 1st & 2nd year of University, accomodations were either nonexistent (except for notetakers) or terrible. I remember starting my first day at University and finding out I didn't have any terps or noteaker so I had no recourse, but to go home. It's not often I'd have terps present at lectures and tutorials.

I believe that, in a way, has affected my grades.

Ironically, my last year at Uni was the best I've had accomodation-wise.

Hang in there and keep your disability service working their behind off to accomodate you to the fullest.

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dreama

I was born with Asperger Syndrome and a mild hearing loss. I think I started at a mainstream primary school but for some reason it didn't work out so I went to the local special school. The first teacher I had was horrible and kept punishing me for things I couldn't help doing. There was also a lot of bullying in the taxi as they took a very mixed bunch. Some were just there because they had challanging behavior. It was sort of like a dumping ground that way. However the other teachers were ok and their was less bullying later on.
I really enjoyed it in later years. However my dad pulled me out after finding that I would not be taking exams in that school. He didn't think much of the standard of education either.

So I went to a hearing High school. Thats when I first got hearing aids. The bullying was very bad. I was unhappy and wanted to go back to the special school. Eventually the bullying was so bad in the 3rd year that I had to leave.

I went to another mainstream school with a partial hearing unit. It was very oral. No sign language permitted. The educational standards were not as high as the first high school as it was a big inner city school. The PHU wasn't too much help. They just provided hearing equipments and that was where I was sent if the teachers had any problems with me.

It was nice to mix with other deaf kids though as in the first high school I was the only deaf there. The level of bullying was nothing compaired to my first high school.

I would have liked to go to a signing deaf school right from the start even if I only had a minor hearing loss, or a school for those with Asperger syndrome who would introduce me to sign language.

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Grummer

Dreama,
is PHU = Public high school?

dreama

No, It stands for Partial Hearing Unit. A unit for the deaf and HOH within a mainstream school. Wouldn't have been so bad if it worked but they were oralist and so didn't provide terps so were only ever helping the teachers with extra disopline for the deaf.

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seki900

I bet, being in the system just after 501 passed was a bear. I am hopeful that things are better today. I have heard from a lot of parents that seem to think so, but then, remembering just how little I told my parents about what was happening in school I wonder.

seki900

I agree that it would be interesting to see some generational stories from the beginning of the mainstream movement to now. Just as a general guide to the changes and improvements that have been made since the start. There is now a 30 year period that could be drawn from and I bet it would make a heck of a thesis for someone. Of course to gain meaning and acceptance there would need to be more than these anecdotal experiences.

I applaud your wife's sense of ethics. While I agree that it would be nice if the school administrators knew what they where doing, I get the feeling that they would no longer be administrators:

Those who can, do.
Those who can't, teach.
Those who can't do or teach, administrate.

shel90

It is no wonder that many deaf children in the mainstreamed programs dont do well cuz of situations like these. I see that way too much.

__________________
~Shel~

"A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

Pepsi

I could write a book on my school days.It was not easy, it was down right bad.

deafdyke

I gotta say a lot of times its like pulling teeth to try to even get good accomondations.
And yes, kimpossible, social issues can be a nightmare. I didn't even have any other "losers" to hang out with in high school............I really think that it should be mandatory for dhh and other disabled kids to undergo a "we know high school is tough.......here's some other educational options that might help you," right before jr high

Grummer

ah ok , thanks for the answer, but i reckon that should be illegal to NOT provide terps, and also same goes for expensive "specialist" teachers.....

Grummer

ah ok , thanks for the answer, but i reckon that should be illegal to not provide interpreters, and also same goes for expensive "specialist" teachers.....

deafdyke

It sometimes seems like a lot of educational people think that b/c a person is oral, they don't require as much as a Sign person.............arughhh.........

dreama

That would be a good thing.

DeafDyke: Yes. That's true. The sad thing is that orally taught deaf end up with MORE problems... It should have said something that too many of the kids were doing badly.

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Norah

I can remember a hearing test at High School. We had to turn and face the wall and a lady had explaines that she wanted me to repeat certain words after her. I faced the wall and waited. Nothing. After about 2 minutes she came up behind me and grabbed my arm, furious that I had not repeated these words. A teacher was summoned and the medical person wanted to know if I was one of the naughty ones. I was asked to explain. I knew what I had to do but i was waiting for the lady to start speaking. I wasn't aware that she had started and finished and I had heard nothing. After an operation and 20yrs later a hearing aid, I would love to go back to that woman and take her to court for prejudice, poor attitude and cruel behaviour to a 14 year old child. I wept buckets out of fear. What about the scary thing that my hearing wasn't normal and I hadn't known anything was wrong before this.

shel90

I was reading "Through Deaf Eyes" (I hope I got that right) at my work's library while my students were in library class. There was one quote from one deaf woman about growing up oral. She said that by speaking so well, it gave people the false impression that she doesnt need visual cues so she was denied them and suffered greatly. According to her, because of her experiences growing up oral only, she refuses to use her speech skills again.

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~Shel~

"A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

paperclip

Hard of Hearing: Deaf school for two years, public school afterwards. Mostly a positive experience. Graduated in a class of 90 kids. Struggled not academically, but socially. Currently in University. Graduate May 09. I still struggle with social skills but have awesome hearing friends. I wish to learn ASL and did take a year of classes at uni, but too shy to go out and interact with other deaf people in the area. I wish to go to a deaf graduate school, but I haven't had luck with finding deaf graduate schools that include physics.

Jaden

deafdyke

jaden what about RIT (a lot of dhh students there) or CSUN?

skipper

Hmm, I went to a public school where I would have been the only HOH in my school. Small district. Town population only 5,000. I was fortunate that my mother had spent hours with me at speech therapists, and she worked with me a lot so I do not have deaf accent, I have normal speech. Regardless, when I got to school, the teachers wanted me out, they wanted me send to special ed school, or to belleville school for the deaf. I was too much of a potential inconvenience for them, since I wore HA's and a moderate to severe loss at the time.

My parents fought hard to keep me in school. Even had professionals from belleville coem down to meet with teachers, and teach them how to deal with me. I got front row seats. I excelled in english, as I did a LOT of reading, and eventually got bored with english, by grade 4, they were givign me books from the grade 7 and 8 classes to do my book assignments on.

By grade 6, the school agreed to purchase an FM system for my personal use, I only used it for grade 6. I didn't like feeling so "special" among all the hearing folks, and the FM systems back then in 1982 were big and clunky, about 4" x 3" in side, and I had one on each side of my belt, with wires to my hearing aids....

Teachers had to wear the mic, about 12"-14" long with a 12" antenna on it.... ugly brown thing. They would forget to turn it off, and when they'd go to staff room down hallway, or washroom, I had the priviledge of listening... ugh!

By high school, there were 3 of us in whole school with HA's. The other 2 spoke with deaf accent. They came from catholic school, and from a smaller school 20 minutes away. I never knew them growing up.... basically, my entire childhood, I was the only one I knew with HA's... very lonely.

I rebelled in high school.... I scored well in tests, and I was put into advanced classes, I develoepd an ability back then to read, learn, and more or less memorize books, which made listenign to teachers mostly irrelevant... What few friends I had, were put in general level, and I didn't want to be in advanced... so I ended up failing History and Science on purpose..... however, I quickly snapped out of it, and repeated and scored well second year...

College.... went through normal system, no special assistance other than HAs. Again due to ability to read, memorize and understand, I did well, graduated with honours, never failed any classes.....This was a 2 year business degree.

I returned to larger city, (Ottawa) and went for 2 more years as well. I did need new HA's and worked with VRS to get during this time around.. I memorized all my text books, and did the labs on my own time.... (Computer system Technician)

Anyway.... school sucked only because I wasn't accepted, and had no friends in school... wasn't until college when I felt I had a life, and fit in with real people.... don't know if I would change very much though

deafbajagal

School for me? Experiencing mainstreaming in a public school was so bad that I'm STILL getting therapy- I've graduated over 10 years ago. I was on the honor roll, participated in school, and had many friends...but nonetheless, the educational placement for me remained inappropriate.

I opened my presentation at a conference with this line: "Oral education for most deaf children is a legalized form of child abuse." (Not for all children- it can be appropriate for some - there are a lot of factors that are involved to determine what is the appropriate placement for that child. But for many - it is inappropriate because of many reasons, including lack of proper language support at home, etc.)

I learned to speak. But no one would listen. I learned to listen. But no one would look at me. And I learned to cry. And no one heard me.

shel90

I understand exactly where you are coming from!

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~Shel~

"A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

jillio

OMG....the people I wish would read this!

deafskeptic

I'm sure you got their attention with that statement. As for myself, I still have scars from my 3 year stay in mainstream so I really can relate to your post. At times, I go thru bouts of extreme anger when I remember my days in mainstream.

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Activated on May 9th.

deafbajagal

I'm glad you said that...for the longest time, I really thought I was the only one who felt that way...it sounds silly now but I really did at the time when I was growing up. That's the effect mainstreaming (as the only deaf child in the school) had on me...I was like, the only one and no one else could relate.

deafbajagal

I don't want to sound preachy...but therapy really helped me. So I find myself recommending it to everyone. I used to get so angry that I would engage in self destructive behaviors (almost NO ONE knew about that, though because I would only do it alone...)...if you're going through that, you might want to consider it. I wouldn't go for a long time because I was too embarrassed or something - plus there was the whole thing about finding someone who had a background in deafness and finding an interpreter who I could trust to keep his/her mouth shut...but when I finally did, whew. Anger is a secondary emotion that can really consume a person. That's never good. It's dealing with the primary emotions - that's the hard part.

Byrdie714