Why am I angry?

Sweetmind · 06-24-2006, 08:53 AM

http://www.deafeducation.org/stories/whyangry.html

Quote:

Before I start, I want to make it very clear that I am not at all angry with my (hearing) parents or any other members of my family who made any decisions for me when I was a child.

They weren't to know - having only had biased information from doctors and so-called 'educationalists' - the fake 'experts' - who thought they knew all about deafness. They lied to my parents and told them it was better to speak than to sign, then they lied again and told them that I should wear hearing aids, when they must have known they didn't work!

I am totally Deaf. I cannot hear. Which part of that is hard to understand?

My parents understood part of it. My mum never forced me to wear a hearing aid. In fact she told me to take it off during the school holidays because my ear-mould didn't fit and it whistled annoyingly!

So why would I be angry with my parents? They did what they thought best, which is what any parent would do.

They never made me do anything I didn't want to. For example, when I first heard about cochlear implants at the age of 11, I went to my parents in a panic and begged them not to make me have a 'box in my head'. They told me I didn't need one; I was just fine as I was. I was so relieved.

I sign now, and my parents accept that too, because I am happy.

So why am I angry? Because so many lies have been told, to me as well as to my parents:

I am angry because the teachers at my oral Deaf school told me I couldn't be a journalist, but I was one for seven years.

I am angry because those same teachers told me British Sign Language (BSL) was not a real language and I shouldn't use it, but it is my preferred language now!

I am angry because those teachers again told us that Deaf adults who used BSL were like monkeys. But these Deaf adults are my role models, my ancestors, and those teachers denied me my history!

I am angry because my speech therapist made me cry when I couldn't say my name the way she wanted me to. But now I say my name how I want to, and I have a sign name too.

I am angry because I couldn't lip-read most of my school teachers, and they were allowed to get away with this, even though they couldn't communicate with their pupils. But I got my A Levels by asking my friends to interpret what our 'teachers' were mumbling about.

I am angry because they ridiculed me and my friends if we signed, denied us opportunities to a full education, and then, just before we left school, they told us we 'weren't ready for the outside world', due to their own oppression.

I am angry because doctors experiment on my peers, trying to 'cure' or 'fix' us when we aren't broken.

I am angry because we have survived the system, when we should have just lived. I am also angry and extremely sad when some people don't survive it.

I could go on, but I won't. Instead, I will tell you some more truths…

Now, I am happy. I live life to the full, I feel a real person, not the 'half person' or 'second class citizen' those teachers, audiologists and speech therapists made me feel I was.

I have both Deaf and hearing friends, and I live, work and play mostly in the Deaf community. There's no community quite like it, it's rich and vibrant and very alive! I've been to university, got a media degree (using BSL), did some time as a journalist and then moved on to academic research. Now, I'm an activist, writer, tutor and translator.

Did my teachers advise me to do these things? No. I am an activist because of people like them. I am a writer, tutor and translator despite them. Think about this point, perhaps?

Look beyond the ears - my ears don't work, but so what? I don't need them for anything except to keep my glasses from falling off. I have my hands and eyes to communicate, and I have my soul to be happy within.

Jen Dodds

jenkd@hotmail.com

Cheri · 06-24-2006, 09:05 AM

Good story but sad the same time. I wish people wouldn't be too negative upon deaf people. Give them a chance to prove themselves. If they're happy, let them be.

hear me now · 07-31-2006, 06:31 PM

Thank you, your words mean something to me. I am fine the way I am.

GalaxyAngel · 07-31-2006, 06:44 PM

Good!

gnulinuxman · 07-31-2006, 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cheri

Good story but sad the same time. I wish people wouldn't be too negative upon deaf people. Give them a chance to prove themselves. If they're happy, let them be.

Definitely true.

jillio · 07-31-2006, 09:04 PM

As a parent, I can relate to that anger. I too am angry about the lies the so called experts told me. I am angry about the lack of information available to me when my son was diagnosed deaf. I am angry about the insensitivity of the so called experts and their willingness to sacrifice the happiness and identity of deaf children just to promote their own philosophies. I had to search out my own answers to my questions about raising a deaf child. Many of those answers came from brilliant men like Harlan Lane, but many more came directly from the Deaf Community. None of the answers that have been valuable to me in raising my son came from the self proclaimed experts on deafness. My answers came fromt he true experts on deafness--the Deaf community. To any professional dealing with deaf children==Your first resource should be the Deaf community.
\

Y · 07-31-2006, 09:31 PM

Geez, I wish that someone make a movie about this.

DeafMommy0407 · 08-01-2006, 01:50 AM

Gosh, that is very GOOD!!!

Btw, I agree with you Y. This should be made into a movie to show parents who have deaf children that they have choices too.

fyborg · 09-09-2006, 08:05 PM

I just can't believe it. Thank God my parents were far-sighted enough to give me choices.

shel90 · 07-27-2008, 11:41 AM

I was just looking thru the old threads out of boredom and came across this one. WOW!!!

Exactly how I felt growing up oral and mainstreamed. Exactly how I feel as an adult now.

I wish the drs, audis and oral educators who believe all the myths about ASL would read this and take this to heart. Being like hearing peers is not all that cracked up to be. In fact, trying to make deaf people like hearing people can make many deaf people become isolated, crippled, and end up with socio/emotional issues.

Matilda · 07-27-2008, 11:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shel90

I wish the drs, audis and oral educators who believe all the myths about ASL would read this and take this to heart. Being like hearing peers is not all that cracked up to be. In fact, trying to make deaf people like hearing people can make many deaf people become isolated, crippled, and end up with socio/emotional issues.

Spot on!

Jen Dodd's tirade should be copied and set as an excellent example for the so-called experts on deafness/education. Jen's feelings are parallel to most of us and we are the ones with first-hand experiences. And who better than us, to be listened to and learn from!

web730 · 07-28-2008, 07:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Matilda

Spot on!

Jen Dodd's tirade should be copied and set as an excellent example for the so-called experts on deafness/education. Jen's feelings are parallel to most of us and we are the ones with first-hand experiences. And who better than us, to be listened to and learn from!

Yes, indeed a very good one to use as one of samples that many of us went thru the same thing or close enough. It could be used to present with this person's permission for the DBC to use (for an example) no matter how old it was.

A good find, Shel90!

jillio · 07-29-2008, 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Matilda

Spot on!

Jen Dodd's tirade should be copied and set as an excellent example for the so-called experts on deafness/education. Jen's feelings are parallel to most of us and we are the ones with first-hand experiences. And who better than us, to be listened to and learn from!

This statement is right on target! The hearies have been messing it up for years!

Liebling:-))) · 07-29-2008, 12:16 PM

I didn´t see this thread until today...

Matilda · 07-30-2008, 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jillio

This statement is right on target! The hearies have been messing it up for years!

Dead right!

overthepond · 07-31-2008, 08:44 AM

Ha, I know this person quite well, she was at my school, she was few years above me.

She said it. Good on you Jen

06-24-2006, 09:05 AM	#2 (permalink)
Cheri Prayers for my dad. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Ohio Posts: 22,811	Good story but sad the same time. I wish people wouldn't be too negative upon deaf people. Give them a chance to prove themselves. If they're happy, let them be. __________________ Avoid being a victim of a stroke, a stroke can happen to anyone at anytime. You will never know how devastating this could be until you had live through it. It affects everybody. So Support Stroke Awareness to find a cure and hope.

07-31-2006, 06:31 PM	#3 (permalink)
hear me now Registered User Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: north carolina Posts: 30	Thank you, your words mean something to me. I am fine the way I am. __________________ Vickie

07-31-2006, 06:44 PM	#4 (permalink)
GalaxyAngel That's me! Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Alberta,Canada Posts: 13,626	Good! __________________ Parent's proud our children.

07-31-2006, 09:31 PM	#7 (permalink)
Y Registered User Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 3,113	Geez, I wish that someone make a movie about this. __________________

09-09-2006, 08:05 PM	#9 (permalink)
fyborg Stay away from these. Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: St. Louis Posts: 642	I just can't believe it. Thank God my parents were far-sighted enough to give me choices. __________________ Red Shirts are 88% more likely to be shot at. Stay away and stay alive!

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07-31-2006, 09:04 PM	#6 (permalink)
jillio Registered User Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 32,782	As a parent, I can relate to that anger. I too am angry about the lies the so called experts told me. I am angry about the lack of information available to me when my son was diagnosed deaf. I am angry about the insensitivity of the so called experts and their willingness to sacrifice the happiness and identity of deaf children just to promote their own philosophies. I had to search out my own answers to my questions about raising a deaf child. Many of those answers came from brilliant men like Harlan Lane, but many more came directly from the Deaf Community. None of the answers that have been valuable to me in raising my son came from the self proclaimed experts on deafness. My answers came fromt he true experts on deafness--the Deaf community. To any professional dealing with deaf children==Your first resource should be the Deaf community. \

08-01-2006, 01:50 AM	#8 (permalink)
DeafMommy0407 Registered User Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 2,659	Gosh, that is very GOOD!!! Btw, I agree with you Y. This should be made into a movie to show parents who have deaf children that they have choices too.

07-27-2008, 11:41 AM	#10 (permalink)
shel90 In a pink and black world Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: In the land of the free Posts: 25,992 Blog Entries: 3	I was just looking thru the old threads out of boredom and came across this one. WOW!!! Exactly how I felt growing up oral and mainstreamed. Exactly how I feel as an adult now. I wish the drs, audis and oral educators who believe all the myths about ASL would read this and take this to heart. Being like hearing peers is not all that cracked up to be. In fact, trying to make deaf people like hearing people can make many deaf people become isolated, crippled, and end up with socio/emotional issues. __________________ Shel~ "A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

07-29-2008, 12:16 PM	#14 (permalink)
Liebling:-))) Sussi 7.7.86 - 18.6.09 Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Germany Posts: 30,977	I didn´t see this thread until today... __________________

07-31-2008, 08:44 AM	#16 (permalink)
overthepond Registered User Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Great Britain Posts: 1,359	Ha, I know this person quite well, she was at my school, she was few years above me. She said it. Good on you Jen

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