gnarlydorkette

Have you ever caught yourself into a trap that you are SO screwed to type an important essay that you just FINALLY realized is due the very next day?? And that next day is also YOUR midterm day??

And ...

YOU DON'T EVEN CARE??

That is how I feel. I just FINALLY realized that my midterm is tomorrow and I have to hurry up with my essay (it is to be turned BEFORE the midterm tomorrow) and I am going well with my essay but I don't want to kill myself by depriving myself sleep... I don't CARE about this class. This class is cool and all but I don't WANT to do the damn essays. This is the first one out of three essays we are supposed to do. U-G-H.

I feel so BAD for not caring about my grade especially when the midterms are factored in big-time for the semester grade.

Right now I have to type up three art critics after 1945 and their opinions about two art movements: Abstract Expressionism and Proto-Pop. (I REALLY love Proto-Pop... they are SO me!)... and I am too lazy to look for my textbooks to reinforce my information.

Help?

Anyway, I am just wondering if anybody else is in the same position as me or had ever felt that way when in college...
not caring about your grade the night before the midterm?? And what happened? I pretty much know what WILL happen and that is why I am still working on my essay even if it mean to stay up throughout the night.

If it isn't for those damn essays, I wouldn't mind continuing onto obtaining a master degree... I hear it is much easier in a master program because you get to decide your classes and whatnot. But will there be an essay for a midterm test??

Hmm.

Deafness

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apathrev

I am to procrastination and apathy what Jesus Christ is to Christianity. This has been my whole life. I've never been able to reach my full potential simply because I never tried. I never took time to study. I never took time to write my compositions. I simply enjoy being a lump on the log of life too much. I'd hate to say it, but apathy feels damn good. Especially when you've lost just about every care you have.


Feelings of guilt for apathy really can't be justified. You get the grade you earn. I guess it comes down to you motivation. I wish I could afford to give the time I should devote to school, but I lack proper motivation, which is again, because I am nothing more than a lump. You know you're perfectly capable of it, but why don't you do it? How can you change your motivation? Just simple questions you need to ask yourself.

When I get to a no turning back point in failing classes or I am just completely dissatisfied with the curriculum or instructor, I withdraw and simply take my W. I've already dropped one class this semester because I didn't feel it was worth my time, and I loathe the professor and her methods. Now I'm considering dropping my National Government class because the professor is the most absent-minded person I've ever met and she lives to bully students that she believes are inferior, probably to help boost her own self esteem.

If you have goals and even an idea of a timeline of when you wish to accomplish these goals in, I say keep at it. I'm still undecided what I want to do with my life, or even on a major. I'm simply floating along, taking classes here and there, and just enjoying the slow ride.

The only person who can help you is yourself. Sure, you can ask for advice, but you make the decisions about your life and your education, so choose wisely.

Yes, I have been in that situation many times, and I ended up making stupid decisions. My usual response to last minute work and procrastination is truancy. I didn't show up or I didn't do the work and I recieved a 0. I didn't have to work too hard to earn my 0.75 GPA. Last year, of the attempted 18 hours of class credits I took, I only recieved 6 hours: two classes I failed, and the other two I withdrew from for my stupid job (big mistake!). Like I said, I've made some very stupid decisions, and my motivation is just non existant. You know what will happen, and obviously you don't want it to happen, so keep on keeping on. You'll always be able to make up sleep, but time on your paper is limited.


Essays are a tool of Satan, and they f***ing suck.

edit: I just proofread this and got a giant laugh out of my typos and redundancy. Sorry its late, and I'm depressed and sleep deprived.

gnarlydorkette

A-MEN!

Well, an update: I just finished my essay. At least the professor cannot give me a "F" for not turning anything in...
I got physical evidence of efforts... so a guaranteed "D" or above is in my forecast. NO WAY for that "F" to seep into my transcript.

Maybe I will get a "C"... a "D" is something for a paper that is rambling about bullshit, right?... [looking at her rambling essay] errm... well, I did state all important artwork and the dates and the stupid critics' opinions!! It is wortwhile of a "C"! I never get anything lower than a C. [biting her nails]

Anyway, as for the motivation: I think the reason I lost my motivation for this just ONE assignment because I got so many things going on the side and this essay got lost in the pile of "to-do's"... and now it is biting back at me. At least I can prepare myself better with the next essay and ace it (No worries about midterms-- I have no fear for the multiple-choice tests...! it can be all changed tomorrow after I take my midterm... will keep you posted if I got bitch-slapped by the midterm too)
This paper is just smacking me silly at such a wrong time. I swear to you, I am such a nerd when it comes to school. This is my first time letting myself loose since I got a life now and I made a poor priority list... on top of my list are my bookmaking and surfing classes. :-X Everything else is forgetten (included this essay)...
Time for compromises and discipline! No bookmaking or surfing until I finish my obgliated essay! That will be my mantra chant.
But I need to be careful or "all work, no play makes a Dull Jane"...!

In reimbursing myself for this stupid essay this weekend, I am going to watch two foreign Deaf movies, have a nice dinner out with my husband (that has been pushed off for too long!), a fun 25th birthday bash, and a possible visit by a fellow ADer... so that is a NICE compromise for staying up to the wee hours tonight.

Thank, Patrick, for your pep talk!

I swear to "whoever-is-there", I am going to set myself straight. BAD DORKETTE, BAD! No more sliding-the-homework!


(PS-- There is nothing wrong with taking the slow ride. My brother is 30-yr-old and he finally made sense of his destiny recently even after the seven-year of military service, a 12-year marriage ended in a divorce, a eight-year-old kid.... he is now proceeding to obtain an AS in aeroengineering and hopefully onward to an university for a BA... and then he can become a commerical pilot at the end!)

apathrev

Funny you chose to describe my post as a pep talk when we’re both up in the wee hours of the morning, and I just took some Tylenol PM sleeps pills. Hopefully I can finish my incoherent rant before they kiZZZZZZZ Huh? Oh..... Yeah.

Although this may be one assignment, one assignment can become two, and so on, and then you have a habit. That’s how it started with me back in high school, and I still can't break it.

Rewarding yourself for doing homework? Tsk tsk. Just kidding, but I prefer the negative reinforcement/beating myself senseless approach. Or as I like to refer to it as, the "Martin Luther" approach. For me good grades would be enough reward. Don't think I'm discouraging you from rewarding yourself. I really was just kidding.

I realize its almost never really TOO late to achieve your academic and career goals, but I have a narrow minded view that the later you put it off, the less time you'll actually spend with your career and the farther behind you'll be. Settling down with a nice choice career and starting a family is something I very much want to do, but its hard to imagine that went I don't even know what I want to do with my life.

If you don't mind me asking and indulging my short attention span, what sort of essay is it? Compare and contrast? Rhetorical analysis? Evaluation? Or just your run of the mill informative essay?

Its now 4:43 AM. I'm going to throw this thing into Word and run spell check for efficiency and save embarrassment, again.

Liza

gnarlydorkette, I know how you feel. You'll do fine. I've gotten F's, believe it or not. Happens to the best of everyone. I still graduated slightly better than average from college. Breathe in.. breathe out... center yourself... that mind of yours is very rich with vocabulary and sayings - use 'em to your advantage, my dear girl.

Double space at 14 pt - yep. And then some double double space between paragraphs. That'll do it.

*chews slowly on a long grain*

gnarlydorkette

(Laughing @ Liza)

Ah, thank you for your o' wisdom!

Just wanted to update my stuggle...

A twist in this plot!
At eight o'clock in Pacific Time zone, this morning the professor asked us to turn in our "take-home" essay prior to the midterms, only SIX (included me) out of 45 students were able to produce decent typed essays.
MY GOODNESS. The professor scrowled at the class and simply stated: "It was explained all in the syllabus and I *won't* accept any essay after this midterm." And continued to pass out the midterms.

YEOW!

And in a matter of three minutes, the professor threw two graduate students out of class and flunked them just because they talked. We hadn't even started our exam but the professor said: "I said NO TALKING, period. I don't care if you haven't got the midterm, just DON'T TALK." Yikes. This first midterm is 20% of our grade for the class. I felt bad for those two graduate students.

I also want to say....
I DEFINITELY ACE THE MIDTERM!!! I envision my midterm being handed back with a "B+" or above. There were only three out of 50 questions that I was clueless. Not bad, not bad. (Patting on her back)

Now I got three more hours to keep my eyes open with a toothpick... I only got four hours of sleep. A siesta sure sounds good to me...

Liza

Congratulations, GD! *pats you on your back*
You definitely deserve a siesta. I would be surprised if you still had the energy then!

I don't know if you mentioned it earlier somewhere else about graduating? Still got a year left or what? What do you plan to do after that? Maybe move to Suomi with the hubby? hehehe

gnarlydorkette

I just had my second midterm today for the SAME class that I started this thread for so I recollected this thread and decided to post my results from last midterm:
I got 82% on my TEST!!
...
..
.
but... I got 32 out of 50 on my essay that I typed up at very last minute. :-X O-M-G.


LESSON: Don't hurry at finishing your essay at last minute but it is OK to cram the night before! it is good for you! Hope you realize I am JOKING.

Well this time around for the second midterm I got it all backwards. I typed my essay on time and it is very well-written but... I didn't study well. So I probably will get 80% on my essay while getting 70% on my test. :-/

I just cannot have everything, eh?

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As for Liza's questions:
Yes, the last time I checked was that I got thirteen courses left to obtain my BA. So two semesters left or so... I am HOPING to finish in Fall 2006. I think I can , I think I can, and I CAN! :cross:

And the plans after Fall 2006-- ha. I have no CLUE. I am pathless. My husband suddenly feel the need to be in a D-E-A-F community after experiencing the 100% Deaf milieu at the ASLTA recently... So it definitely will be in a big city with a large number of Deafies.
-SO- our next "vacation" will be to Washington D.C. to visit Gally in Janurary or Feburary... to check out what Gally's ASL graduate program is like... you got any inking or somebody who can give the HONEST opinion about the MA program for ASL? Because you know how some Gally alumnis WON'T say ONE bad thing about Gally even if that is the truth? Guys, if you know the answer, PM me.

Our future used to be New York City-- now that dream is fading out with Rusty resigning from the ASL program which got my husband rethinking about Columbia Uni... because my husband WANTS Rusty, not somebody new. Boston Uni was considered but heard a lot of people that the professors at Boston are very "miliant" and he doesn't want that... So we will check D.C. and then maybe Ohio's Wright State...

I AM CROSSING MY FINGERS that he will put up with my dreams of living in Europe sometime soon. Some friends from Japan told my husband that he oughta take the opportunity to travel NOW while he is young and et cetera... those Japanese friends said that Americans are WEIRD for waiting until their RETIREMENT to travel Europe... by then they are too old to enjoy Europe! What is the point?! So I was like "nudge, nudge!"

Cross your fingers for me too! heh! Hope to chat with you sometime soon Liza!

Miss-Delectable

I know what it's like to feel apathy when it comes to doing essays for higher education.

You dream of living in Finlandia?

By the way, I think it's smart to do some travelling while you're young, and then again when you're old.

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Dannie

I always did that, I would wait till the very last night with all the books I needed sitting on my desk and just spend the entire night finishing it and I always seemed to get a good mark.

One trick a Math Teacher showed us in college was either folding up a paper into little squares or drawing little boxes all over the paper and in every box put something you would use that would help you on a test. It's really helpful.