Angel

...IF their children weren't fed, clothed or doesn't have a roof over their heads then sure I would have said something about this but this wasn't the case, so I'm happy for the family, and I think they have done a wonderful job rasing these children, they seem to be a very happy family...

I hate it when people judge them like this just because they have so many children, so what , why worry about them when they're not even your children ( speaking generally here )...

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"When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is brought in our life, OR in the life of another." ~ Helen Keller

Deafness

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Liebling:-)))

My main reason is against Bob & Michelle Duggar because I beleive it's their own responsiblity to raise the children if they really want to have a lot of children, not just breed the more babies and then give their children to raise their siblings.

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LakeTahoe

Maybe they'll stop till the "J" names runs out? They got then names from the Bible. I believe maybe by the 20th they may be stop. Or wait till Michelle reach menopauses since she is now in early 40's.

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Aleser

Liebling:-))), a family should involve the children helping out.. You give and you take. Taking care of their siblings helps them both be prepared for their future families as well as develop a sense of responsibility. Parents shouldn't just slave away while their kids sit on a couch. The mother already clearly devotes all her time to caring for them and also teaches them all. That many children -is- a small classroom, a full time job in itself.

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"She thinks... she can make people do what she wants or needs, what is right, by the sheer force of her own talent, not by forcing them... she can teach them and persuade them... that they'll catch it from her. This is still faith in their rationality, in the omnipotence of reason. The mistake? Reason is not automatic. Those who deny it cannot be conquered by it. Do not count on them."

Angel

My oldest son sometimes babysit my little one, and isn't sibling/families suppose to help each others? it not like I'm asking my son to raise him or anything...

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"When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is brought in our life, OR in the life of another." ~ Helen Keller

Angel

:nods:...That's correct....

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"When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is brought in our life, OR in the life of another." ~ Helen Keller

Liebling:-)))

All the time in everyday?

Babysit and Raise the children are not the same thing.

I do not against babysit because it dont' do that all the time in everyday.

I do ask my oldest son to watch his youngest brother for couple of hours for any emergency sometimes, not all the time and everyday like Duggars... I don't want to expect too much from them... but I would be happy for their support, not expect them to do for me...

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Angel

Oh no not everyday, I meant by helping out, sometimes children needs to help their mom and dad around the house, that's inculde helping their brothers and sisters out, but that doesn't mean that the parents are asking their children to raise their brother or sister...

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"When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is brought in our life, OR in the life of another." ~ Helen Keller

Liebling:-)))

I beleive it's parent's responsible to raise their own children, not give their children with adult responsiblity to raise their siblings. If I want 6 or 10 children then is my responsible, not my children because it's me who choose to breed a lot of children, not my children.

Let the children to learn their own experiences and chores etc... They learn how to help/support each other, not expect too much from them... If I need a help then ask them... , not all the time like Duggars... Choose the clothes for their children, etc... Remember, their children don't born their siblings, but the parents... This is a difference.

It's plenty of time for the children to enjoy their experiences first. I think it's too young for the children to take adult responsible to raise their siblings for their parents.

It look like that you expect the children to do for you because you are not slave for them... wow... I don't born them to worker or caretaker or be parent for my children but my wish children. It's parent's job to raise/educate them with responsiblity development to learn what right or wrong. I really never thought to be slave because I enjoy myself to be parent because they are my wish children. All what I want to see them to enjoy their experiences, education, etc and learn and collect their own experiences and share our experiences.... It's about learn and respect...

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Liebling:-)))

Yes, I see no problem for that because I do the same but Duggars did to their children total different. I would suggest you to read their websites. Their children didn't have much life but work for their parents all the time... where is their OWN life then? Where's their own experiences? Accord their websites, Michelle & Bob talked about their own dream and never talk about children's dream. They do what they want for their own children... It's their own dream, where is children's dream?

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Aleser

I don't expect anything from my future children cos I wont have any. I'm part of the younger members of our (VERY) large family who think it's time to take measurable action against the spread of genetic disorders- which involves not having children cos many of us (3/4) are CF carriers.

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"She thinks... she can make people do what she wants or needs, what is right, by the sheer force of her own talent, not by forcing them... she can teach them and persuade them... that they'll catch it from her. This is still faith in their rationality, in the omnipotence of reason. The mistake? Reason is not automatic. Those who deny it cannot be conquered by it. Do not count on them."

Cheri

I agree totally, that's what families are for, helping, giving and supporting each others.

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Lil_country_gal

Well acording to the duggars and i heard them say this they believe that god will only give them as many children as they can handle. The older siblings don't look to hate it they seem to be one happy family. My sister who is 10 years older than me took care of me alot since our parents were never arond alot because of working so hard

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Laicy Always and Forever

Dark-Half

Lets start a bet pool on which # they'll stop by any means. Roflmfao. 50% of the bet money would go to charity! I'd imagine it'd get pretty ****ing large pot and possibly nobody would ever get paid off for like...omg years?

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Lil_country_gal

Why would it be so cool to bet money on peoples lives? so they have 17 kids they are a happier and more organized family than most of the family's i know.

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Put some excitement between your legs.... Ride a Horse

Laicy Always and Forever

cathartes

[QUOTE=Angel;794265\ but that doesn't mean that the parents are asking their children to raise their brother or sister...[/QUOTE]

But that's exactly what they are doing. The siblings *ARE* expected to practically raise a younger sibling. I forget the "cutesy" term they used.. what they do is assign(their word!) a weaned baby to a sibling to clothe, feed, watch after, carry around etc. A baby is imposed on another kid.

A baby is not a pet for a child to "learn responsibility" from. There's a huge difference between helping the family out and being forced to take on care of a younger sibling as a pseudo-parent of sorts.

Ma Duggar deliberately weans her infants early so her menstrual cycle can begin again sooner than later. They're members of Full Quiver a religious sect who believes babies are literally from god and he will make a woman pregnant as many or few times as he wishes. So, no birth control in any way for members of Full Quiver.

Therefore she will keep on producing babies until she hits menopause. It won't be by hitting a certain number or some kind of reasoning like that. They just simply don't see sex as making babies in a way.

GalaxyAngel

I do not care what they are doing.. as long they are happily family.. go for it.. Not my business...

I'd rather care myself focus on my family lifestyle and budget importances things sort it out... doesn't want part of alike The duggar family. The Duggar family are happy or sad lifestyle.. as long not our problem their own way preferences.. That okay.

Really not need to be judge their lifestyles..

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Parent's proud our children.

Peachy Lady

Also, it's not as if children are always "working." They get things done a lot faster when each person has its own chores to do. The children do get alot of free time because each person do own chores. I think what they're doing are great. If I have that many children I would do the same what Duggar family do. If I am left to do everything and let children have all the free time, I probably won't live long. The older children get to learn early what it's like to be big brother or big sister and have real world idea of what being a parents would be like in their future.

Each ADers have its own opinion so no one is right or wrong...smile

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Liebling:-)))

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Opal

Read in my magazine showing some photo's of these family, they are doing great - living in a beautiful dining room.

They are doing well.

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(=' x')
(,('')('')

Angel

So? Amish people have many children too, they often make errands, help their parents and sibling around the house, I don't see a plm with that....There are so many varieties families out there that has many children and they raise their children the way see fits...why making such judgements on how many children they have, or whether or not their children are rasing their siblings?..

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"When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is brought in our life, OR in the life of another." ~ Helen Keller

Peachy Lady

I agree with u, Angel! If they're happy family, let it be...smile My great grandparents on both sides had many many children and they helped each other chores. After the children married and left parents home, they stayed close-knit for the rest of their lives, no matter where they live. They have bonded because they helped each other growing up. My children have their own chores. They clean their bedrooms, take turns to clean up bathroom, help with dishes, sweep floor, wash clothes, etc. They are part of the family and help each other. No, I do not make them do everything while I do nothing. They are good at what they do and know that when they're on their own, they will not have problem keeping their own places clean. Their bedrooms do get messy at times and that's when I ask them to clean their rooms. They're normal children...smile My children are very close bonded with me and my husband...they kept telling us that we are the best parents in whole wide world. I make good meals for them and they tell me that I'm the best chef. I make more than half the meals from scratch and fresh fruit/vegs because I have more time to cook. They're very happy at home cuz they get lots of love as well.

If other parents prefer to do all the chores, that's their decision and nothing wrong with that, but the result is more tired parents.

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Angel

^ @ PL, I agreed...

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"When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is brought in our life, OR in the life of another." ~ Helen Keller

Cheri

I agree with Angel and Peachlady here, working children would grow up being hard workers and very responsible, I've seen plenty of laziness people in every path of life at workplaces, that is because they haven't learned their responsibilities at a younger age. My view is that it's important to educated children at their younger age about responsibilities, chores, caring, because once they grow up being on their own, they'll be more prepare in the reality of life, which means good parents, hard working people, experienced chef, etc.

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Audiofuzzy

Indeed. What a great life - working hard in childhood, working hard in adulthood. Everyone's biggest fantasy, yeah...

Fuzzy

BearBeauty

While it seems the family is doing well, My question is this...

Where is the older children's time to date, go out with friends, do stuff away from home? Seems like all the kids do is stay home, study, help with their siblings, do chores.

Where's their life outside their home? where's their Dating, finding that special someone? you know?

Audiofuzzy

Has anybody ever seen Malcolm In The Middle episode where Lois got a rebate coupon for a family portrait and took her family to have a picture taken?
She put them in nice clothes, all washed and made up, and while at the photo centre the boys of course started fighting with each other, messing up their hair and the clothing,
and finally Lois yelled I WANT TO HAVE A NICE FAMILY PICTURE ALL TOGETHER FOR THREE SECONDS, WITH SMILES --- NOW!!!!

Click, flash, they got their "happy family" picture taken in a blink of the eye, indeed all smiles looking happy and close together, and immediately after that the boys resumed their fights

This is what I think of "whole, happy family" of Duggars.

I'll bet if someone took them off camera, off the side and asked the children how they REALLY felt....


Some people here are 100% right. Bringing up the children is parent's responsibility. Expecting the older children to take care of the younger is NOT RIGHT.

IT is NOT a right way to teach children to be responsible and caring. It's borderline abuse. There are other ways to teach children be a good adults, and happy and productive childhood does not equal being lazy and unhelpful, but it's definitely NOT having to care for youngsters.


It's one thing to ask the child to ocassionally help with te younger one, another to permanently attach taking care of them all the time.

I personally would not want to be forced into taking care of little children in my youth- I would have plenty of time for that later with my own, until the end of my life, thank you very much.

Damn right, when is supposed to be MY TIME FOR being just a kid?
This time will never come back, ever.

If you as a parent are not able to take care of your children by YOURSELF, then don't make them!!!!

Fuzzy

Liebling:-)))

[QUOTE] you remind me of Joan Crawford and her 4 adopt children. Have you watch the movie "Mommie Dearest"?

Someone should stay at Duggar's home everyday 7 days per weeks and 24 hours then they will know more...




To me, I can tell from older children's expression... looked really miserable... Sure, they were smiling but they were forced smile.

I have read their websites and learn about them. All what I read is Bob & Michelle talked about their dreams, no even talk about their children's dream... It's sad that nobody notice it.

Agreed!

I stand my POV that none of older siblings should be responsible for their younger siblings... I'm sorry. Children should be allowed to be children instead of being forced to dress, change their diapers, feed them and plus parents to their siblings for 7 days and 24 hours, cook, clean, and plus discipline their siblings etc... NO!!!

I felt it's unfair to make the older children have to play house because their mother are busy to breed more babies and then pass their babies to the older siblings because of another new addition a year later and on and on the cycle goes. How about letting children have their own dreams and enjoy their life before they settle down with responsiblity. To me, those children are slaves. No even hanging out with friends, learning, growing, dreaming about what you'll be when you grow up etc.

Some of you think this is a normal family, try to think back to your teenage years... Were you able to go out with friends, join sports, just sit in the yard and daydream, lay on your bed and write in a diary, read a good novel? OR did you change diapers, teach the younger children their school lessons, cook every day, do laundry for 18 people, get up and go to bed at exactly the same time as the younger kids, and share a room with them as well...while your mom popped out one baby after another? Which would you prefer?
And where are the jeans and t-shirts and playclothes? What children feel comfortable in look-alike dresses and dress clothes every day?

Sure, my children learn about responsible and chores... but I do not expect them to learn about their marriage, etc. but learn to enjoy their responsiblity, etc and know what right or wrong... Plenty of time for them to enjoy their life before get married and raise the children.



Exactly!!!

I don't think they're doing the best for their kids. I don't care if they're debt-free, that doesn't make a good home life and those kids are going to get a slap in the face when they go into the real world ... if they do.

If they have plenty of money then hire Nanny, laundry lady, maids....then... Why can't they then?

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Reba

Why should they? They're happy living the way they do. They are living their lives, not your life. They don't tell you how to manage your family, and you don't tell them how to manage their family. That's fair enough.

BTW, kids can play and have lots of fun in clothing other than jeans and t-shirts.

Liebling:-)))

Did their children said this?

I need to hear children's side...

I am not telling them what do with their live but my own POV. Is it forbid to share my POV what I thought of this?

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