Angel

A 5 years old watching sex education on TV?? ...Don't you think a parents is being a bit too open mind about this even when a child is only 5 years old?...

Sheesh I think it would be best to cancel my cable service

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Deafness

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Angel

Wow, it would be very very nice to know if one of my children had saved all their money since the age of 5...

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Tousi

Wow, sounds like those wee children aren't afforded the luxury of being sweet and innocent before beginning the process of "growing up".

Reba

No. Are you?

Yes, I know all that. I've known it for years. So? It's the parents who said that they were relieved that the child was not a homosexual. That shows their bias, not mine.


I was just wondering why they waited for so long. If they knew something was "different" when the child was age 4, why did they wait until he was age 8 to take him to the doctors?


Of course. Who's in charge, the parents or the kids? Who buys the clothing? They need to wear clothing appropriate to the setting (follow the school rules), appropriate to the activity (don't wear expensive, nice clothes for yard work), and appropriate to the weather (no flip flops in the snow). Sometimes kids don't have the judgment to do that. Other than that, she had free choice for colors and combinations.

That's why they need to be trained. I always explained the reasons for wardrobe changes. I really didn't need to make many changes. But when there was a dispute, Mom made the decision.


Color choices were the least important factors to me. I was more concerned with appropriateness.


Of course I know there are male ballet dancers. Our tax man is also a professional dancer. (He owns a prestigious tax firm downtown, and dances internationally; he's also married to a former dancer, and they are parents of cute twins.) So?


How do we really know that the parents just accepted what the child was, or actually encouraged and influenced his direction?


Well, according to the article, the parents were relieved that their son wasn't gay. So in your eyes, they would be "wrong".

But that's a moot point since the child wasn't homosexual.

Reba

I'm not a doctor but I know that hormones effect more than just secondary sexual features of the body. I think most ladies will agree with me that fluctuating hormones also can effect moods, headaches, tiredness, weight, etc.

The doctors agree, too.

Nesmuth

I'n my neighborhood, theres a young girl in her preteen years she goes about in the neighborhood on a skateboard and sometimes with a toy gun in her hand. Thats pretty common for young boys to be skateboarding with toy guns. As for this girl, she's going to be different and whether she takes the sex change option is up to her and her family.

My hometown is very tolerant of latino trannys. Thats because we have a lot of people with gender identiy issues here in Santa Ana. I even go to a bar that's owned and operated by trannys at least 2X a month. Its a decent bar that serves decent drinks and everyone there looks decent.

Richard

Reba

I don't doubt a child age 5 can save money. I doubt that a child age 5 would know what a sex change is, and that it costs lots of money. Something tells me that the parents had a hand in this.


What kind of sex "education" is necessary for a 5-year-old to know about sex change surgery? Why is a 5-year-old getting sex education from TV instead of the parents? Very suspicious.


Wow, what kind of TV do your little kids watch.

(Does CI mean something other than cochlear implant? What kind of sexual term is that? I'm not familiar with it.)


Whatever happened to sweet innocent children? Why do kids have to have sex thrown at them so young? What's the hurry? Sigh...

Some how I enjoyed childhood without ever knowing about homosexuals, transexuals, transgenders, etc.


Yeah, my grandsons save money for things, too. But they don't save money for sex operations!


I believe kids save money. I don't believe they save money for sex operations.

Liebling:-)))

Children sex education. It´s not what you think... not sex pictures but draw the pictures... and talk...

Danny questioned me that´s time I was pregnant with Alan how to make a baby. Is it because I have to eat alot to make fat. Should I lie him...? No Way... I answered his question honestly. Your mommy & daddy love each other in the bed to make a baby. Few years later after that my boys asked ... how we love each other in the bed to make a baby. I answered their questions: Your daddy gave me his seed to make baby grow inside me. They don´t understand so I bought a flower seed and put one seed in the pot with my boys... water the pot until a flower grow... They understood when they saw flower grow and understood and said to me that I eat and drink to give baby to eat and grow big... The children sex education on TV.... they understood and find interesting. (not public sex, etc what you think).

What you answer when your children questioned you when you was pregnant or saw other pregnant?

VamPyroX

I remember watching a show on television where this guy had his penis accidentally cut off at birth, so they convinced the parents to let them perform surgery on the baby to make it female and give it hormone pills to make it grow up as female.

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Liebling:-)))

Huh? I do not see that the parents relieved that their son is not gay. All what I see that the parents want to know either he is homosexual or what - wrong body? The parents questioned the doctors and focus interent.... They learn a lot about the difference between homosexual and transexual because a lot of people confused between homosexual and transexual... It´s the same thing the parents focus what deaf is.... which good for them... CI or HA until they know 100% exact.

Liebling:-)))

Huh? Your grandsons don´t want to be girl, right? Why should he save up for want be girl? He would say if he is not happy to be boy. My boys save up from their pocket money... and buy what they like... sometimes they talk about want to buy a big car... That´s children talk.... normal.

If you don´t beleive Kim´s word then is your choice.

Liebling:-)))

True, without hormone pills then they would grow up as male.

VamPyroX

However, it could be traumatic when the kid finds out the truth about what happened to them at birth.

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Liebling:-)))

Yes true, it could be shock for a girl after learn that she was born a boy because she didn´t ask for it in first place.

Have you read the example of David Reimer at link in my previous posts (1 page of this thread).

The doctor burn David´s skin under circumcision surgery accidently. The doctor did not gave David hormone shot/pill to make him into female or without test his genetic either he have male hormone but just change him into girl. She unawared until she was he until puberty time, she feel in her body that she is a man... She suffer during puberty time... pretty unhappy.... end to damage her good self-esteem... David didn´t ask for want to be a girl but doctor and parents which is not right.

JLFWildKat

uhhhh Although its nice of the parents to be there for their child. But still, makes me wonder what you'll hear next in this world. Then again we might be better off not knowing

Angel

When my son was 5 at that time while I was pregnant with my second one, he asked me how I became pregnant and where babies come from, and I said to ask me that question when you turn 16

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Reba

I just didn't understand why CI was in the same sentence as sexual topics. I thought maybe it had a different meaning.

Reba

Having surgery for changing sex is NOT a normal 5-year-old desire. Who told the child that there was such a thing as sex change surgery? Who told the child that sex change surgery was something he could get that would make him happy? Who told the 5-year-old child that he could someday get sex change surgery? Who told the child that the surgery cost a lot of money?

You see, there had to be some adult influence there. Five-year-olds don't just "know" these things without some adult input.

Reba

Of course that's not normal.

Why do young children need to know about all kinds of sex behaviors? What's the purpose or benefit? Why do they need those seeds planted in their young minds? What's the hurry?

Are you saying that I would have enjoyed my childhood more if I knew about homosexuals, transexuals, and transgenders when I was a little kid?

Teaching the basic facts of life and personal safety is one thing. Describing the details or listing every possible variety is NOT necessary.

VamPyroX

There was a Law & Order: Special Victims Unit episode where there was a set of boy-girl twins that was actually a set of boy-boy twins.

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Liebling:-)))

I can see that you tried to negative and blame them for that... I can see that you don't want your children to know everything... and deny their questions...

I did suggested in my previous posts ... now I suggest again here...

As the article written that Tim insisted he is a girl when he was a toddler.

I beleive that the parents convince him that he is a boy, not girl. He ignored his parents and use his sister's toys and clothes etc.

The toddlers begin to learn about saving money etc... I beleive that Tim tell his parents that he want to be girl and don't like his body... his parents tell him that he is a boy, not girl... Tim refused and want to be girl and want to change from boy to girl when he grow up... The parents explained him that it's very expensive surgery to change from boy into girl... That's how he answered his parent... That's what I beleive because I have seen in my experiences that many children talk like that... Example: Prince William is angry with his Nanny when he was 4 years old that he will send knights to kill her when he grow big. My son tell me that he want to save up to buy a big car for us...

Liebling:-)))

I see nothing wrong when the children make their first move to ask their parents questions to answer after saw something... They deserve to know... I see nothing wrong to answer their questions. I don't beleive in hide something and make up the stories or negative answers if my boys want to know after saw something. My boys get answer from me, not from someone else.

The young children like to be curious and ask a lot of questions... they deserve parent's answer... to explain/convince them the examples....

I always positive my boys's questions and don't beleive to negative/make up their questions about homosexuals, transexuals, disabilities, color skin etc... because I want my children open their mind and show their respect on them instead of bully/mock/giggle on them... If you hide something from your children because you know something what you see is not normal then your children will learn negative from someone else because you never told them or positive their questions. I want to save from my boys's negative toward people...

Reba

I didn't "deny their questions." They never asked any questions about sex change.


Yes, but did anyone research to find out why? What was the cause? Was it hormonal influence, societal influence, parental influence, or what?


You mean to tell me that the parents were so weak that they couldn't tell a little kid, "No, you can't wear your sister's clothes"?


That is totally bizarre. Money was the only reason parents gave for not getting a sex change for their kid? That is so weird.

Reba

I agree that parents should answer children's questions.

My point is, as a child, I never had those questions. I didn't see or know about transexual people. As a kid, my mind wasn't full of questions about people's sexual behaviors. Now, there seems to be way too much focus on kids and sex.


Answering their questions, that's fine. That's a lot different from exposing them to sexual situations at a young age.

InTheGenes

I think the key here is exposure. You might not have had those kinds of questions growing up as a child, Reba... but some children do, and usually because they have exposure to someone who is gay or transgendered. My mother had gay friends when I was growing up, and I had questions as a 5 year old about why they weren't married (to someone of the opposite sex), and why two men were sleeping in the same bed in the guest room "like mommy and daddy do". Some parents, when asked those kinds of questions by their children, choose to be evasive. Some choose to lie, and some choose to tell the truth. My mother chose to tell us the truth, in a way that wasn't sexually provocative or inappropriate.

Did you mean to use the words "sexual situations"? To me, that carries a very different connotation, like... putting them in a room where sex acts are being performed, or popping in a porno, and sitting them down in front of the TV set.

Allowing your kids to be in the same room as a gay person or a transgendered person wouldn't be a "sexual situation", in my book, unless explicit sex acts were part of the experience.

Reba

That's one kind of situation. Kids are viewing too many scenes on TV of people acting and speaking in sexually suggestive ways.


Being in the same room as a gay or transgendered person, and being exposed to explicit sex acts by anyone, are the two extremes. There's a range of experiences in between.

Sitting at a dining table with a group of people, straight, gay, or transgendered, is not a sexual situation, unless people begin discussing sexual topics, or acting in sexually suggestive ways. Straight or gay, that's not appropriate with children present.

My point is, why do children need to know what's happening in anyone's bedrooms? If they do have a curiosity, and ask questions, then fine, answer them. But most of the time, kids can enjoy their young lives without concerning themselves about what's happening in the grown-ups' bedrooms. Of course, part of the problem is bedroom activity is becoming more public and media activity.

Why can't kids just be kids for 12-14 years? They will have another 50-70 years left to worry about sexual relationships and situations. Isn't that enough?

Just 12-14 short years to ride bikes, skate, sled, read adventure stories, play with kittens and puppies, go fishing, jump rope, build Legos creations, act silly, play in the mud, climb trees, skip and tumble, make snowmen and snow forts, bounce a ball, collect sea shells and dead bugs, or just rest in the grass and look up at the clouds.

Sigh....

InTheGenes

Reba, I agree with you. It would be nice if kids these days held onto their innocence longer. I, too, have noticed a trend with today's youth, and how they seem to "grow up" (or are forced to) much faster than even when I was a child (I'm 33 now). You bring up how much sex they're exposed to in the media, etc... they see a LOT more on TV now (including non-sexual things, like war, violence, political scandal, etc.) than we ever did back when I was a kid. In this information age, kids have access to a lot of "adult topics" that just weren't readily available back in the day.

Most parents hate the idea of their children getting older/growing up, would love nothing more than for them to stay children forever. However, eventually, every child grows into an adult, much to their parents' dismay. I've also often found that the more parents try to KEEP their children from growing up, the more friction is caused between parent and child. But then, no one ever said being a parent was easy.

As for this particular topic, honestly, I'm conflicted. I think it's great that parents would allow their child to explore their own identity, and not perpetuate any negative stigmatization that might exist over a boy wanting to play with a doll, etc. However, I agree with you that I just don't see how a 5-year old would get it into their head to start saving for a sex change operation. It sounds rather far-fetched to me.

I guess the question that begs answering here is... at what age, do you think, a person KNOWS who they are? And even when that self-identification happens... that doesn't necessarily mean that one is ready to act on any impulses associated with that self-identity.

I mean... I can honestly say that I knew that I liked boys when I was 6 years old, and this was reinforced several times as the years wore on... but I wouldn't say that I was ready to act on any kind of sexual impulse at that young age. I DID start experimenting at age 12... but what we're talking about here isn't an experiment. Once the operation is performed, there's no going back. If this were my child, I'd advocate waiting a few more years, but also allow for my child to have complete freedom of expression.

Liebling:-)))

I thought you know that the public talks, listen radios, TV, medias, newspapers, etc in the everywhere...? That's how the children learn from them... You can't compare our old times with present time.

Liebling:-)))

Agreed

Liebling:-)))

I have seen many young children to teenagers including our boys's development still continue with this... ride the bicycles, skate, reading, scoocer, build legos, collect bugs from garden etc... I have no idea what you talk about...

I guess that what you talk about is let young children and teenagers stay front of computer all the day, right? Yes, I has to agree with you on this... We are strict about TV and computer limit. We don't like to see our boys stay front of the computer or watch on TV all the day. My hubby & I told our sons that we stay outside all the day in everyday when we were their ages, that's time there're no computer, game boy, etc. around. We push them to go out more often...

Anyway, it's parent's job to get their children out of watch TV and computer games...