My 1st poem...haha

lucidjen · 05-02-2004, 10:21 PM

I dont really care what u will say abt my poem! Its okay to say anything, feel free. I just wanna to put in my 1st poem and feels good abt it!

Silence Classroom

Walking through the hallway
Weaving through students like basket loom
Silence everywhere, lips moving
I hear nothing, I hear nothing

Sitting in the classroom
Watching the clock changes to noon
Silence everywhere, lips moving
I hear nothing, I hear nothing

Winding through the line
Waiting for the line to move
Silence everywhere, lips moving
I hear nothing, I hear nothing

Working in the classroom
Teacher's lecture will be finish soon
Silence everywhere, lips moving
I hear nothing, I hear nothing

Roadrunner · 05-04-2004, 12:58 AM

That's a good start...you have the 'idea' of how a poem works...and especially if you feel good about doing it...that's even a much greater feeling to have...hopefully you will find the courage to write more and learn more about writing poems...a good start you've made here...hang in there...work on a few more and the more you do, the better you'll have the 'feel' for writing poems!

Cheri · 05-04-2004, 06:57 AM

Well Spoken Poem you got there lucidjen, It is a very Nice One. Keep up the Good Work.

05-04-2004, 08:31 AM

Very nice poem.. Why not become a poetry writer??? You could make a million dollars for that...

CatoCooper13 · 05-06-2004, 03:55 AM

Very nice, lucidjen -- shows that you have an idea about how poetry is written and so forth. Keep going and over time, you'll improve!

05-06-2004, 05:55 PM

Hey Jen!! I am pretty impressed with your poem!

It makes me smile thinking about the silence in my last few years in high school. Yeah, I hated high school, but it was fun wearing NO hearing aids for the last 1 1/2 years of mainstream high school!

icecl_out1 · 05-08-2004, 10:29 AM

Hey Jen! Nice poem. I know you have a second poem written. I hope you post that one too...i can't wait to read it.

TweetyBird · 05-08-2004, 10:57 AM

i like that!!! keep up!!!

Chajukin · 05-24-2004, 03:38 AM

i thought that was pretty good, i mite get my poem on here, i`ll get it off my school computer, i have done a few and my teacher rates me one of the best he has ever seen

05-02-2004, 10:21 PM	#1 (permalink)
lucidjen ..tomorrow never knows.. Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: casa grande - arizona Posts: 152	My 1st poem...haha I dont really care what u will say abt my poem! Its okay to say anything, feel free. I just wanna to put in my 1st poem and feels good abt it! Silence Classroom Walking through the hallway Weaving through students like basket loom Silence everywhere, lips moving I hear nothing, I hear nothing Sitting in the classroom Watching the clock changes to noon Silence everywhere, lips moving I hear nothing, I hear nothing Winding through the line Waiting for the line to move Silence everywhere, lips moving I hear nothing, I hear nothing Working in the classroom Teacher's lecture will be finish soon Silence everywhere, lips moving I hear nothing, I hear nothing

05-04-2004, 06:57 AM	#3 (permalink)
Cheri Premium Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Ohio Posts: 20,755	Well Spoken Poem you got there lucidjen, It is a very Nice One. Keep up the Good Work. __________________

05-08-2004, 10:29 AM	#7 (permalink)
icecl_out1 ~CoRoNa~ Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Casa Grande~Arizona Posts: 33	good Hey Jen! Nice poem. I know you have a second poem written. I hope you post that one too...i can't wait to read it.

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05-04-2004, 12:58 AM	#2 (permalink)
Roadrunner Registered User Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Ohio Posts: 7,090	That's a good start...you have the 'idea' of how a poem works...and especially if you feel good about doing it...that's even a much greater feeling to have...hopefully you will find the courage to write more and learn more about writing poems...a good start you've made here...hang in there...work on a few more and the more you do, the better you'll have the 'feel' for writing poems!

05-04-2004, 08:31 AM	#4 (permalink)
CrazyMomma Guest Posts: n/a	Very nice poem.. Why not become a poetry writer??? You could make a million dollars for that...

05-06-2004, 03:55 AM	#5 (permalink)
CatoCooper13 Am attached and in LOVE! Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Sonoma County, California Posts: 6,419	Very nice, lucidjen -- shows that you have an idea about how poetry is written and so forth. Keep going and over time, you'll improve!

05-06-2004, 05:55 PM	#6 (permalink)
Deaf258 Guest Posts: n/a	Hey Jen!! I am pretty impressed with your poem! It makes me smile thinking about the silence in my last few years in high school. Yeah, I hated high school, but it was fun wearing NO hearing aids for the last 1 1/2 years of mainstream high school!

05-08-2004, 10:57 AM	#8 (permalink)
TweetyBird LOOK AT ILY MAGNETS! Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 21,346	i like that!!! keep up!!!

05-24-2004, 03:38 AM	#9 (permalink)
Chajukin Registered User Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Australia Posts: 159	i thought that was pretty good, i mite get my poem on here, i`ll get it off my school computer, i have done a few and my teacher rates me one of the best he has ever seen