Jolie77

This is one of my poem that I just scribbled over few days ago and thought I'd like to share it with you guys. I'm still sort of rusty because I haven't been writing poem as much as I used to but... I think I'm getting there, after all it's like riding a bicycle again.

The Torrential Rain

The rain's pouring down so hard
The wind's blowing so hard
It's howling and pounding
It starts to get so dark
The darker it gets, the harder the rain pours
As I try to walk in the torrential rain,
It pounds my body, leaving bruises for the eyes to see;
But, Alas, It's my weakest moment
The torrential rain is my cry
The wind is my shield
The howl is my soul screaming for calm and serenity
The bruises is my pain
How torrid can it get?
As bold as it can be; My faith shall not be shattered
Yet, The torrential rain tells me that it's okay
Only to cry and to stay strong together.

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Deafness

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Angel

Wow very nice poem Jolie, didn't know you write poem before...but I like this one....

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"When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is brought in our life, OR in the life of another." ~ Helen Keller

Roadrunner

That's pretty good...

Now...ready for some criticism???


Nah....maybe later.

But, keep at it...and the rustiness of writing will go away in time...that is if you feel that way.




(...and 'bout time u posted a poem too-- )



~RR

Jolie77

Angel - Thank you for your warm compliment.

Roadrunner -Oh I'm always ready (and open) for the criticism because it's the only way I can learn how to improve myself and see where or what I have done wrong. With that, It will help me see or pin-point to the area where my weakest moment lays at in order to improve it for the better.

The rustiness of writing is still here. However, When I get to the point of being so rusty, It's like I'm feeling a writer's block coming up. My mind's blank for a moment and I reach the dead end. When I get to see an inspiration or something that makes an impact, That is when I'm able to get the "juices" flowing only to write whatever is being brainstormed until I reach another dead end, once again. I think being rusty is still good in a way when I'm sure I'll be able to "take" the feel of it and get the hang of it, eventually.

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Cheri

I absolutely love your poem, Jolie! You're very creative with poems lately, between 1 to 10, I'll give this poem a ten plus!

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Goggs1

Not too bad at all!
Very good imagery and the anguished emotion comes through quite strongly too. I'm a writer as well, though I specialise more in short stories and novels and I have to say I was very much impressed by this poem.
I'm new to this site so i do't know how the mods on here feel about links to other websites, I won't post it but if you're interested there's a UK website called WRITERSDOCK, which is free to join and it's an excellent place to get lots of reviews on your work. I've been a member there for a couple of years now and you can get some really professional crits for no charge at all.

shel90

U are off to a good start!

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~Shel~

"A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

Koala

Jolie, your poem is wonderful. I like it. You have done it great for a start. You will get there soon enough.

BTW, we could do with some 'torrential' rain here weatherwise. It is very dry here.