reborn. (written 7 months ago)

dead money · 07-27-2008, 03:22 AM

So here I am.

Reborn though a reality hell that I’ve yet created once again. Time becomes an eternity upon itself torturing you to the last second. That familiar feeling i once buried long ago again shows its ugly face constricting my body with its seering, seeping, knifing pain, resurrected from moments past all singing its eerie tune. A love bond shattered in pieces, so many unrecoverable- the anguish looming from knowing its all probaly lost and never to be found. And yet the memories considered good become quite haunting. I loved this woman for 4 years, yet my arrogant mind somehow along the way blankented that what i considered heaven--if there is one. Yes there is one. Ive tasted it, held it, kissed it, laughed with it, and last but not least loved it to the very core. The very existence of whats defined as love taken away exposes me as a man not 5'10 but 2'5 if not smaller. Like a very tragic accident suddenly taking hold crippling your senses, your feelings, your movements, your emotion. Gasping for air just wondering if it would be all right. Will it be all right? Someday, somehow but not today. Im stuck in a time warp with an empty heart sitting here tonite writing to you--my beloved audience whoever you may be. You can always build yourself up for what was to happen inevitably but its always a journey of madness once you come down. You open your eyes, assess the damage, look around and gasp at the carnage that resides at your feet. So many memories, so many wonderful mother****ing memories. The dark side of the power of love presenting its case before your very eyes. And thus ive become reborn.

You dont choose it, it chooses you. So how did i get here you might wonder? I took heaven for granted and for however long i shall pay the price. They say you only live once and make it matter. Well i didnt make it matter and now through upcoming sleepness nights, hours of pain that hovers asking you "What the **** were you thinking?" i relize i have a long battle ahead to right the ship once again in my new mold should i emerge victorious. Being in this daze, unprepared, i dont expect to escape this unscathed. Broken hearts, shattered souls, or battered minds dont get up and walk off into the sunset the next day either. It'll be a long journey down a twisted darkened path in which i do not know where it leads, or when it will end. But it will end. One way or another, it will end. And people say "breaking up is hard to do".

What a ****ing understatement.

deafbajagal · 07-27-2008, 02:03 PM

"reborn through reality" - I love that!

Lots of powerful adjectives in there. I hope to see more of this stuff!

dead money · 07-27-2008, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deafbajagal

"reborn through reality" - I love that!

Lots of powerful adjectives in there. I hope to see more of this stuff!

thank you, its just a journal entry of mine not long after i broke up with my now ex-gf. Someone asked me to post something of mine that i written and i dont know why i picked that one but i just felt some people could relate to it maybe

**Jolie77** · 07-30-2008, 07:56 PM

Wow, As usual, Dead Money - Your writings has always floored me. This one is an exception.

Reborn through Reality is a powerful statement and I definitely can relate to having every senses that are crippled, only to wonder if things will be okay in the end or won't it be? That's the thing, I don't know and when that time comes, I'll know.

Thank you for posting this. This one is so captivating.

**KarissaMann05** · 07-30-2008, 08:09 PM

What an excellent thread! I can relate that, I meant, some of parts I can feel the same thing.

Thank you for sharing with us

07-27-2008, 03:22 AM	#1 (permalink)
dead money Registered User Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 1,492	reborn. (written 7 months ago) So here I am. Reborn though a reality hell that I’ve yet created once again. Time becomes an eternity upon itself torturing you to the last second. That familiar feeling i once buried long ago again shows its ugly face constricting my body with its seering, seeping, knifing pain, resurrected from moments past all singing its eerie tune. A love bond shattered in pieces, so many unrecoverable- the anguish looming from knowing its all probaly lost and never to be found. And yet the memories considered good become quite haunting. I loved this woman for 4 years, yet my arrogant mind somehow along the way blankented that what i considered heaven--if there is one. Yes there is one. Ive tasted it, held it, kissed it, laughed with it, and last but not least loved it to the very core. The very existence of whats defined as love taken away exposes me as a man not 5'10 but 2'5 if not smaller. Like a very tragic accident suddenly taking hold crippling your senses, your feelings, your movements, your emotion. Gasping for air just wondering if it would be all right. Will it be all right? Someday, somehow but not today. Im stuck in a time warp with an empty heart sitting here tonite writing to you--my beloved audience whoever you may be. You can always build yourself up for what was to happen inevitably but its always a journey of madness once you come down. You open your eyes, assess the damage, look around and gasp at the carnage that resides at your feet. So many memories, so many wonderful mother**ing memories. The dark side of the power of love presenting its case before your very eyes. And thus ive become reborn. You dont choose it, it chooses you. So how did i get here you might wonder? I took heaven for granted and for however long i shall pay the price. They say you only live once and make it matter. Well i didnt make it matter and now through upcoming sleepness nights, hours of pain that hovers asking you "What the were you thinking?" i relize i have a long battle ahead to right the ship once again in my new mold should i emerge victorious. Being in this daze, unprepared, i dont expect to escape this unscathed. Broken hearts, shattered souls, or battered minds dont get up and walk off into the sunset the next day either. It'll be a long journey down a twisted darkened path in which i do not know where it leads, or when it will end. But it will end. One way or another, it will end. And people say "breaking up is hard to do". What a **ing understatement. __________________ mike matusow...or god for short.

07-30-2008, 07:56 PM	#4 (permalink)
Jolie77 Premium Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Kentucky, USA (The Bluegrass State) Posts: 8,514 Blog Entries: 1	Wow, As usual, Dead Money - Your writings has always floored me. This one is an exception. Reborn through Reality is a powerful statement and I definitely can relate to having every senses that are crippled, only to wonder if things will be okay in the end or won't it be? That's the thing, I don't know and when that time comes, I'll know. Thank you for posting this. This one is so captivating. __________________ Isaiah 33:6 - "He will be the sure foundation for your times, a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the Lord is the key to this treasure."

07-30-2008, 08:09 PM	#5 (permalink)
KarissaMann05 Premium Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Salem, Oregon Posts: 6,381	What an excellent thread! I can relate that, I meant, some of parts I can feel the same thing. Thank you for sharing with us __________________ "Pragmatic language is a vital social skill that enables the school-aged child to navigate their way through demanding social situations." -- R. Owens

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07-27-2008, 02:03 PM	#2 (permalink)
deafbajagal Registered User Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: USA Posts: 5,171	"reborn through reality" - I love that! Lots of powerful adjectives in there. I hope to see more of this stuff!