The*Empress

"Is It Normal Not To Socialize?"

I am not an anti-social person. My roommates at Gallaudet wanted me to socialize with them, but I felt that they are wrong people to socialize with.
I don't socialize with smokers. I don't socialize with extreme open minded people. My idea of socializing is go to the Mall, go grocery stores, go travel somewhere far far away, go to the zoo, and all of those fun things.
My mom wants me to go with her to baby shower, wedding, party, and stuff, but that isn't fun to me, just sitting around, giving gifts and boring chit chat, that is not my idea of socializing. I am socializing, I am chatting in forums and in chatroom. I don't understand why my mom doesn't see that is socializing. I am not shy. I am not so outgoing, I don't have to go out everyday. And I don't have to talk to some guests, my mom invited them, not me.
People who are quiet and shy have long lasting friendships, why? And people claimed they are open minded. Huh? And they are normal?
Well it can be true, because whenever I gave out my opinion, I lose a friend,
and people claimed that I am close minded and abnormal.
I don't like the smell of cigarettes and I don't like the smokers' habits.
And I don't want to put up with other people any kind of bad habits.

It is boring to have friends who are very shy and quiet, why I want to spend time with those people?
And I know a woman who is so obnoxious, always be in people business and so outgoing, and her friends are quiet and let her boss them around. Her friends hang out and put up with her, because they like going out places with her...

I do want to socialize... just because I stay at home a lot of time, doesn't mean I am a hermit.

An infant born and kept from human touch will soon die. People need people.

I do enjoy company of a few persons and I sometimes socialize.

And my mom said one day my family members will not come around, if I don't be nice to some of them. I told my mom that I have the right to tell some family members not to smoke around me. And I don't want anybody to pressured me to attend all social events.

I shouldn't have to accept homosexual lifestyle, smokers, and other type people to keep friends. So how can I be myself if I have to pretend to like everybody in order to keep friends?

I told my mom that I don't want to go baby shower or wedding, because
I feel that is shoveling down in my throat... because I don't want to envy people and pretend to be happy for them... because I won't ever get married or have a healthy baby. And my mom said, "It isn't about you".
SIGH!!! Why my mom don't understand me?

It is so hard to talk to people sometimes and my opinions don't matter everytime I be in conversation with people, especially in this forum, people always disagree with me. So that is also a reason for me to not socialize, because people don't listen.
I tried to talk to my Uncle and Aunt in California, and they won't talk to me in a civilized way. They rather pray out loud or argue with me.

And also, I have to explain why I behave this way or that way...
and people always want to bring up the past about what I did...
I sometimes just want to get away with it and move on as if nothing happen.

For example, some people still calling me Miss P, and they won't ever forget it, and they will remind me over and over again, And one person mentioned TTT... why can't people let it go? And just call me The*Empress.
And people refuse to see me change, the same way they refused to accept my change username.

And also Cheney, he always try to change the subject, but people keep reminding him about the shooting accident. Because people always focus on the negative stuff that he did, and not focus on the good things that he did.

I don't have a problem socializing, I just want to avoid some people who always see me in a negative way and holding grudge. I like to be with people who want to see the good in me and look at my heart.

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Deafness

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zookeeper4321

Empress: I agree w/u & I have no negative ideas about u-I'm new here. I have few close friends, but get friendly with almost everyone I work w/ or see a lot. I don't run around w/them. I just talk when I see them. I rarely get together w/close friends but will talk 20mins in grocery if I see them. As long as you have human contact your not hurting yourself. Do what makes u feel good. At my last job I had a son as old as most of my employees. They were into a lot of things that I was not. I talked to them at work and left it there.

MorriganTait

We listen - we just disagree. There's a big difference.

Socialize or not as you see fit - it's your business. You're a grown woman. But if you are standoffish, or unaccepting of people, they will see you as not wanting to be social with them. It's a natural assumption.

There are lots of people I choose not to socialize with, and if they see me as being unsociable, who cares? I don't like them to start with and I am not particularly concerned with what they think of me.

If you don't want people to call you by the wrong name - consider leaving your name as it is and stop changing it, or maybe tell people your real name so they remember it. I have had the same screen name on AOL for 13 years and nobody gets my name wrong - funny how that works. You can't duck out of past problems by changing your screen name - people will remember. Sounds like maybe you need to let it go...

Y

Hi The*Empress..
Just think of TTT something like an original Coca Cola....
More people tend to remember the first brand name "Coca Cola"
Not many people remember their other newer brands such as
Black Cherry Vanilla Coke or Vault etc...
Hope people will learn how to respect
your desire to call you The*Empress.
How did you ever come up with this new name ?

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sallyggg123

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Reply: I agree that this world has changed compared to the way it was 50 years ago, which was simple and happy way of living. It was easy to be friends when everyone was raised right. People have become more crude, less manners, etc. It is hard to be around others unless we have a common way of thinking and agree on things. Which is rare. People should not be forced into peer pressure of being around those who make us uncomfortable. That is wrong. Being around others who are negative should be avoided at all costs. It is better to be happy and a hermit than to force ourselves to change for the worst in order to be "Social" and please others. That is crazy. If someone is kind and shares our same views and is posative, then that is a real friend and is to be kept as friend. Good people are hard to find in this world and if we have children, we owe it to them to guide them around happy considerate people who will not ruin them with negative ways of living and thinking. Our world needs more happy kind and caring people! Therefore, it is hard to be social in this world today. You are right to protect your well being by avoiding negative environments and to be alone in your happiness if that is your only choice. It is smart.

Lighthouse77

The answer to your socializing problems is to hang out like-minded friends Then you have proven you do socialize with people. afterall, that what open-minded people do. They hang out with other open-minded friends. You rarely see then have "closed" minded friends (in their definition of closed minded anyhow)

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