Your advice on this...

Silentwolfdog

Silentwolfdog

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I am wondering how to response to someone saying "ILY" so casually?

I feel awkward saying "ILY" back since I know that's something deaf people usually do.

I mean, I don't feel right saying it back especially if it's students or clients who said it. I wonder how do you deal with that situation? I mean I don't want to get in trouble because of misunderstanding or whatever. I sometimes just give them a thumb up instead...But I don't know if that works any better?

I am type of person who feel uncomfortable give or take a hug, handshake, friendly/harmless kiss, etc. from anybody.

I guess I take things too seriously, lol. It can't be helped.

So what do you guys think?
 
If you know it is deaf's way, then dont fret too much about it. Just lighten up and be more physically.
 
Oh, I LOVE YOU, Silentwolfdog!

Just kidding.

Do a casual wave back at them and be done with it.

Or you could always avoid deaf people forever. That will solve the problem...

Seriously, I don't think ILY in deaf culture is really the same as ILY in hearing culture...personally I think that the ILY sign is so overused that it has really lost its touch...
 
Silentwolfdog said:
I am wondering how to response to someone saying "ILY" so casually?

I feel awkward saying "ILY" back since I know that's something deaf people usually do.

I mean, I don't feel right saying it back especially if it's students or clients who said it. I wonder how do you deal with that situation? I mean I don't want to get in trouble because of misunderstanding or whatever. I sometimes just give them a thumb up instead...But I don't know if that works any better?

I am type of person who feel uncomfortable give or take a hug, handshake, friendly/harmless kiss, etc. from anybody.

I guess I take things too seriously, lol. It can't be helped.

So what do you guys think?
Click to expand...

How about just signing back, "I'll see you later."?
 
Why are people so afraid to say I love you? Perhaps it's in how they define love. To me love holds many definitions. I love my wife, I love my children, I love my parents, I love my friends, I love animals and I love all humans. But each of those has a different meaning to me. I don't love all humans the same way I love my wife just as I don't love animals in the same way I love my children. To me, each has a bit of a different meaning but at the same time, there is a commonality amongst them. I hope that makes sense.
 
rockdrummer said:
I hope that makes sense.
Click to expand...

I understood everything except the word "amongst." Just kidding, drummer guy. Very poetic and British. My grandmother never said "among."

I have no problem flashing back the ILY hand-sign, either. At least it's understood as a deaf phrase, unlike flashing the "ten" sign . . . or the F hand for okay (that one's funny) . . . or the Y hand for some sort of aloha.

I reserve the actual ASL signs for those I really do love, not am just fond of.
 
It's because of Code of Ethics, I did not want to get in trouble. I am not sure if all hearing people understand that it's different in deaf culture.

Can you imagine if one hearing staff saw me saying "I love you." to a ten years old client? What would she think?

You don't really hear doctor or therapist saying that to his/her patients.

Actually, I am planning to ask other social workers that I know as well about this situation as well.

I guess everyone's different. As I have mention before, I am not fond of this type of thing.

Also, when I does that, it just feels like I am lying since I don't really love them. Eh.

This is also one reason why it's so easy for people to pull a prank on me, because I always look at thing so seriously. Sarcastic is one of my weakness, that's one joke I could never catch on. It always drove me crazy in college when professors does that. Interpreters always had to tell me that they are being sarcastic.
Don't worry, I am still not that serious as to punch someone in anger, but to laugh at my foolishness. ;)
 
I think that there's a major difference when it comes to sign language.

The ILY sign (thumb/index/pinky) is very common and often used as a quick gesture. I get this all the time from women. It's like their way of saying "bye" and giving you a hug as they leave.

*man & woman are talking*
*woman looks at watch*
Woman: "Oh, look at the time. I'm supposed to meet someone. I better go now."
Man: "Okay, have fun. Take care."
Woman: "Thanks. Bye!" *shows ILY sign* *walks away*

The I LOVE YOU sign (signing "I" "LOVE" "YOU") is not used much and is often used when expressing sincere feelings. This is usually done between those who are in a relationship. They are actually saying it, so it has more meaning than a simple quick ILY.

If you're a guy and a woman is the one doing the ILY gesture, then there's no need to reply back. It's usually something that a woman does to others. I've seen women do it to other women, but never men to other men/women (unless they were gay).

A simple wave back should be good enough.

If you were actually in a relationship and she used the same ILY gesture, then you could probably do the same ILY gesture back since it's you two.
 
Silentwolfdog said:
It's because of Code of Ethics, I did not want to get in trouble. I am not sure if all hearing people understand that it's different in deaf culture.

Can you imagine if one hearing staff saw me saying "I love you." to a ten years old client? What would she think?

You don't really hear doctor or therapist saying that to his/her patients.

Actually, I am planning to ask other social workers that I know as well about this situation as well.

I guess everyone's different. As I have mention before, I am not fond of this type of thing.

Also, when I does that, it just feels like I am lying since I don't really love them. Eh.

This is also one reason why it's so easy for people to pull a prank on me, because I always look at thing so seriously. Sarcastic is one of my weakness, that's one joke I could never catch on. It always drove me crazy in college when professors does that. Interpreters always had to tell me that they are being sarcastic.
Don't worry, I am still not that serious as to punch someone in anger, but to laugh at my foolishness. ;)
Click to expand...

If you are concerned about the code of ethics, I would limit my use of the sign. Unfortunately, the code is overseen by hearing individuals, and could easily be misinterpreted as an indication of a dual relationship. The easiest way to stay within the code of ethics (and the one I am bound by is very, very similar to the social work board's code) is to follow the adage, "If you are uncomfortable with it, don't do it."
 
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