What would you do????

2lilprincesses said:
Thank you for sharing your story Mann K05. I guess I always somehow thought, my parents are very open about anything and they used to joke that I was found under a rock, belonged to the family who lived in our first house and left behind, that they kept me. Silly jokes. I knew my mom and dad weren't "together together" when she flew to Texas to be with him.

They were high school sweethearts that had a few falling outs and some seperation. I know who some of my mom's old boyfriends are, but not all. Vice Versa with my dad. My mom bought my dad's high school class ring, but he gave it to some other girl he dated after they broke up. Later they got back together and split again for a while.

My mom found out she was pregnant (I guess she was sure I was my dad's) and she went out to Texas (he had joined the army). Really for 25 years there was no doubt (maybe at first, who knows). I won't say they hid it because maybe they really didn't think of it, maybe they knew for sure then. All of a sudden this guy sees my mom's information, the fact that she has kids and starts calling and writing her saying I may be his. Why after 25 years, and never seeing this woman again (or thinking of her) would you be sure of that?

Sounds a little strange. Not sure if I would say I was his biological yet or not.
Click to expand...

I would get the blood test done like Cheri said. It is best to know sooner than later. The wondering and stress won't do you any good until you do know for sure who is your real dad. If it turns out he is your real dad, follow your heart. If you feel your step dad was always been your dad and you feel comfortable with it, then stick to it. Let the other man know how you really feel. You may tell him, hey I cannot call you dad, because I never knew you. It may hurt him, or maybe not but it is God truth...But to be his friend or you won't. It is your choice. Good Luck!!! We will be with you all the way...
 
BEAR -

That's my thoughts exactally.... I mean if he had any inclination that he had a child somewhere with someone, why didn't he try to look prior to this??? And the fact that he kept calling her at work and my parents are concerned tht he may show up here if he tries to look me up (good thing everything is in my fiances last name (he's also primary on our house - but this guy will have to do a good digging to find out whose names on the deed).

I mean, if he's looking for money or lord knows what, he's coming to the wrong place. I'm 25, two kids, a new house that we just dumped our savings into to try and fix (huge fixer upper) and helping my parent's out financially, so we don't have anything. (as the saying goes, we don't even have a pot to piss in - though we do rather well, we're not struggling).

As for my brother, he's not this guys... this guy apparently thought that he had a son with my mom, not a daughter (my brother's 5 years younger than myself - born five years after she last saw this guy). Besides with the medical issues my brother has at this point, ths guy may not want to get involved with claiming him too (my brother was diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma a year ago - reason we helped my parents (mom wasn't working for a while)).

So as for a RED FLAG - I think you're right - kinda why I really don't care who he is...
 
I say met him so that way you can find out your medical history from him. Also, so he can met his daughter. But if you want to have a relationship with him, let him know he can't replace your step dad, and you can want to take your time to know him.

Let your step dad know that in your eye, he will always be your real dad. Nothing that this guy can do will replace him.

A real dad, biological dad, and step dad can all mean something different. A real dad is someone that is there for you, no matter what.

Also, it not just your biological dad's fault he was not in your life, so don't hold that against him. He just didn't know you where born.

It just like my sisters. They never knew of my bro and myself till they found my mother.
 
Back
Top