lostandtryingmybest
New Member
- Joined
- Nov 9, 2023
- Messages
- 11
- Reaction score
- 4
How does one decide where they belong and what to call themself?
I haven't got access to anything d/Deaf locally, but I guess I worry even if I did, I'd still feel lost and left out? Physically my hearing is "in normal range" but I really struggle actually understanding any of it. Speech yes, but also just any old noise. At best I'm delayed in reacting (there's a loud thump, I turn and ask "huh?" 5 seconds later), at usual I misidentify and misplace sounds (was that a squeaking stair or a button on a phone?), at worst I miss sounds altogether. Constant problems - tired, stress, extra noise all have an effect, but I still deal with all this even in perfect conditions, and it wears me down really quick.
The hearing people around me don't understand it, and I don't have words to explain it to them, to them it just seems like I'm selectively ignoring things. (Really I've heard that complaint.) They turn away from me which makes them fuzzier, they make noise and walk and run the water while talking to me, they start yelling their messages which is even less helpful because I hear I just for some reason don't GET it.
Yeah, because I hear I'm just "doing" this to annoy everyone. Right.
I don't know, I think even if I called myself hoh/deaf, people still wouldn't really understand… But I also don't feel like I can call myself a hearing person - I just can't function in the hearing world like a hearing person is supposed to be able to. I feel like I don't "hear", even though I do… until I just randomly don't. I don't know anymore where I belong…
I haven't got access to anything d/Deaf locally, but I guess I worry even if I did, I'd still feel lost and left out? Physically my hearing is "in normal range" but I really struggle actually understanding any of it. Speech yes, but also just any old noise. At best I'm delayed in reacting (there's a loud thump, I turn and ask "huh?" 5 seconds later), at usual I misidentify and misplace sounds (was that a squeaking stair or a button on a phone?), at worst I miss sounds altogether. Constant problems - tired, stress, extra noise all have an effect, but I still deal with all this even in perfect conditions, and it wears me down really quick.
The hearing people around me don't understand it, and I don't have words to explain it to them, to them it just seems like I'm selectively ignoring things. (Really I've heard that complaint.) They turn away from me which makes them fuzzier, they make noise and walk and run the water while talking to me, they start yelling their messages which is even less helpful because I hear I just for some reason don't GET it.
Yeah, because I hear I'm just "doing" this to annoy everyone. Right.
I don't know, I think even if I called myself hoh/deaf, people still wouldn't really understand… But I also don't feel like I can call myself a hearing person - I just can't function in the hearing world like a hearing person is supposed to be able to. I feel like I don't "hear", even though I do… until I just randomly don't. I don't know anymore where I belong…