confused... a "diary of darkangel8603"

[darkangel8603]

Alright get this..

I dated a girl in gr 10 to 11 as broke up twice and went back together. After that we were just friends. But we have had our million and one fights over stupid things. We broke up because we both have depression and we just couldnt get along with each other depression.
Actually the first time we dated i was scared shit cuz i was still not sure about my identifty and didnt want people to know about me.
We both still love each other alot. And lately it seems to be settle down (the fights)

The odd thing is, like i mention before, i was scared and unsure of myself back then when my ex was so sure of herself and wanted to do things with me, but now its the opposite, i am confident in myself but she is not sure.

Now... she doesnt mind to do one night stand with me. But i am not sure cuz of our history. And she already fucks her ex boyfriend often for pleasure.

She had been saying that she doesnt mind doing some stuff with me for years , but every time I try to make a move on her she will push me away so then i stop cuz dun wanna pressure her. She confuses me alot lol.

Also some day she can be a bitch and asshole which make me grr at her. Other days she is fine. So some days i really love her, some day i just overhead and not notice any feelings for her etc..

But.... The other weekend when I went camping overnight with her and her ex (whom is my friend as well) and other friends. Well I notice myself feel a bit jealous or something when her ex boyfriend cuddle with her or kiss her, or touch her etc etc. It make me feel unsure about her, what her real feelings are and stuff like that. Like does she really love me or just use me for experience or whatever shit.

Sighs, I will never understand our relationship and my feelings and her feelings.

 

[Mizzou]

Sigh -- It is hard for you to see your ex and her sweetheart front of you. I been seen that before, it been disgrarded with my exs. As, you said you are in high school and you will learn more in few years with those face to face and plm to be solve.

I been learn those since I am OUT from high school till now, still learning.... would not stop learning from differcult thing ard you or me.

you time will flow in time!

 

[deafdyke]

It's Ok....it' took me quite a few years to come to terms with the fact that I liked girls....I remember being so freaked out about it, when I was a teen...still hard to realize that I like girls....but just remember ...sexuality is FLEXIABLE......and FLUID!!!!!