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1. It’s important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job. 2. It’s important to have a woman who can make you laugh. 3. It’s important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn’t lie to you. 4. It’s important to have a woman who is good in...

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin." "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?" "Well, Husband #1 was a sales...

At last a guy has taken time to write all this down Finally the guys’ side of the story (I must admit it’s pretty good) We always hear ”THE RULES” From the female side Now here are the rules from the male side These are our rules! Please note..these are all numbered “1” ON PURPOSE...

Letter to god A Post Office worker, at the main sorting office, finds an unstamped, poorly hand-written envelope, addressed to God. He opens it and discovers it is from an elderly lady, distressed because all her savings, $200, has been stolen. She will be cold & hungry this Easter...

Virgin daughters A mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short time. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt. The first...

There were eleven people hanging onto a rope that came down from an airplane. Ten were blonde, and one was a brunette. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn't, the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally...

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer,and at a point in the process, told him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he will use to log on. The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's...

A little boy wakes up three nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents' bedroom. Finally, one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noise and when I look in you're bouncing up and down on him." His mom is taken by...

Smart-Ass Answer #5 A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."...

If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman If you don't, you are not a man If you praise her, she thinks you are lying If you don't, you are good for nothing If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp If you don't, you are not understanding If you visit her often, she thinks it is...

A man and a woman are riding next to each other on a plan in first class. The woman sneezes, then takes a tissue and gently wipes it between her legs. The man isn't sure he saw what she did, and decides he is probably hallucinating. A few minutes pass. The woman sneezes again. She takes a...

As a women passes her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter giving herself a real workout with a vibrator. Shocked, she asked: "what in the world are your doing?". The daughter replied: "Mom, I'm...

SA Background: Gauteng is the Capital South African province. Arrive alive is a campaign by the traffic department in an attept to lower the death toll rate on SA roads. ================================================= Gauteng Metro policeman pulled a car over and told the driver that...

Never Argue with a Woman One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a Game Warden in...

A game warden came upon a duck hunter who had bagged 3 ducks and decided to 'enforce the laws pending.' He stopped the hunter, flashed his badge and said, 'Looks like you've had a pretty good day. Mind if I inspect your kill?' The hunter shrugged and handed the ducks to the warden. The warden...

True Friendship Lessons In Life Are you tired of those sissy-ass "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship: When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot...

Rob kissed his wife, crawled into bed and fell asleep. All of a Sudden, he woke up to find an elderly man dressed in a white robe Standing at the foot of his bed. " What the hell are you doing in my bedroom?... And who are you?" He asked. " This is not your bedroom," the man...

Piano Brothers :) . . . . enjoy

After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand. "There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied. He opened the drawer of the...

A guy is lying in his hospital bed, wired up with drips and monitors, breathing with the aid of an oxygen mask. A young lady comes round the ward with the tea and newspaper trolley. Approaching him she asks if there is anything she can do for him. The guy looks at her and asks "Are my testicles...