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I got a clogged toilet that I could not fix! I tried the dawn soap, an auger, Drano bomb, taking off the toilet and snaking the drain, vinegar and baking soda, drain cleaner, the works. Nothing worked! Before I use a 12-gauge shotgun, what do you recommend?

Zombie fans defend sign prank, chide official seriousness

Outrageous quotes by kids emailed to me recently... “Mister, you should say, ‘Excuse me —I tooted.’ ” Addison, age 3 (said to a stranger who passed gas) “Mom, look! It’s Shrek!” Hugo, age 4 (shouted across a crowded swimming pool while pointing at a bald man) “My parents won’t have any...

Below are four questions. You have to answer them without delay. You can't take your time; answer all of them immediately. Ready? GO!!! (scroll down) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . First Question: You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you...

Regular refs to work Thursday game after agreement

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There was a blonde who was sitting next to a lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer was naturally bored, so he kept bugging the blonde to play a game of intelligence with him. The blonde was reluctant, so the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds. He told her that every time she could not answer his...

Must be an ongoing trend here. If you're a parent, time to start thinking about hiding your keys.

I am currently paying for audiological services through installment payments, which will be phased out at the end of the year and changing audiologists. I am looking into signing up for insurance. Guess what? Many health insurance providers do not cover audiologist services. For those of you...

Nancy & Betty, and Jim & Tom were lazingly relaxing at a retirement home. Nancy & Betty thought Jim & Tom weren't getting enough excitement so they decided to run naked past Jim & Tom's room. Later that night they did just that. Jim looked at Tom and said, "Did you see that? What in the hell...

Public Statement by Tiger Woods: Due to the great consternation caused by the revelation of my act of procreation, I accept my obligation to give an explanation to the population for my act of copulation. I gave in to temptation, for the anticipation of sexual gratification, that I could not...

Read from an RSS subscription site The following are actual stories told by travellers from Mendocino County, CA to travel agents in the UK. (And you wonder why US citizens generally score less than the rest of the world on geography...) A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I...

This story is about a rather strange reply for a campground reservation. It is said to be true, but you be the judge. A woman who was rather old-fashioned, delicate, and elegant - especially in her language - was planning a week's vacation in Florida so she wrote to a particular campground and...

Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7" Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure... by the way, as we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway." Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on...

It's a beautiful warm spring day and a man and his wife are at the zoo. She's wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless with straps. As they walk through the ape exhibit and pass in front of a very large gorilla, the gorilla goes ape. He jumps up on the bars, holding on with...

A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that the three Japanese businessmen seated there are furiously masturbating. She yells, "What the hell do you guys think you are doing?" One of the Japanese men explains, "Can't you see? We are all berry hungry."...

HIS: 1. Pull up to ATM 2. Insert card 3. Enter PIN number and account 4. Take cash, card and receipt 5. Accelerate onto road. HERS: 1. Pull up to ATM 2. Check makeup in rearview mirror 3. Shut off engine 4. Put keys in purse 5. Get out of car because you're too far from machine 6. Hunt...

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and was quite itchy. The teacher...

..."And will there be anything else, sir?" the bellboy asked after setting out an elaborate dinner for two. "No, thank you," the gentleman replied: "That will be all." As the young man turned to leave, he noticed a beautiful satin negligee on the bed. "Anything for your wife?" he asked...

Has anyone who uses a CI been cleared or advised against high speed activities by your ENT M.D.? I was recently invited to go skydiving, since it's in the middle of the night to call my doctor, I'd appreciate any perspectives from anyone who has gone through this experience?