What to do about my parents?

[Glenn]

Do you know many deaf people? The reason I ask is because deaf people have done all of the above things and more. These deaf can serve as mentors and examples of how they can achieve goals for themselves. They would be great examples for your parents to see that deaf can do many things just as good as hearing people (and sometimes better).

 

[Anij]

Wirelessly posted (Blackberry Bold )

My parents lived in a selective reality world were deaf meant "sounds fuzzy" (huh?) So I understand all too well the fight for acceptance, understanding and having to become your own advocate.

From a very early age, when people told me I "couldn't" do x,y or z because I was deaf - I made it a mission to prove them wrong

There is NO reason why a hearing school cannot have remote CART services for you in class ... It's your right and they have to provide it.

If you want to go to a Deaf School, I think you're actually legally old enough to register on your own (since legally at 16 you can drop out of school altogether without parental consent, by that same logic you should be able to attend the school you want especially if they provide services unavailable elsewhere.

There is NO reason you can't graduate High School, attend ANY university or college you want, become ANYTHING you want, get married, have a family etc.

Your parents telling you otherwise is an example of ignorance regarding Deafness, not a statement of fact and the sooner you start advocating for yourself (regardless of your parents) the better.

If you want to attend a school for the deaf, make an appointment to sit in on classes for a day or 3 and see if you like the environment. If you want to attend a hearing school with CART do it!! (remote CART is available anywhere and. Fraction the cost of in-person CART services).

There's a point in our lives when we have to decide for ourselves what we want - it's OUR life, and it's our job to make the things we want happen.

You don't have to be (and shouldn't be) disrespectful, but you should be confident. If you don't already have the support of a Disability Services or services for Deaf & hoh co-ordinater or program look online and find out what's in your area and make an appointment to see them. They will help you advocate for yourself regarding services etc.

Don't allow your parents ignorance to hold you back from your dreams - and dream big!!

 

[MintyOreo]

Do you know many deaf people? The reason I ask is because deaf people have done all of the above things and more. These deaf can serve as mentors and examples of how they can achieve goals for themselves. They would be great examples for your parents to see that deaf can do many things just as good as hearing people (and sometimes better).

I know many deaf people. My parents, however, do not. Last night, my father was trying to convince me that the correct term was "deaf and dumb" :roll:

I know that I CAN do all of the above things and more. And I'm going to! I'm going to finish high school, one way or another. (I'll probably have to really fight to get remote CART at the hearing school. They aren't too good at accomodating students. I REALLY want to go to a Deaf school.) My parents want me to forget about college, because they think that I can't handle it. And they really think that I cannot get my Master's degree - which I'm going to do, too! (For Occupational Therapy) As far as getting married and having kids, I'm sure that I can do that, given the right timing.

As far as learning how to drive... my parents don't know this (so don't tell them! ), but sometimes I borrow my friend's car and drive it around the church parking lot. I've never crashed into anything, and I'm a pretty good driver, if I say so myself. So I know that I CAN drive a car. It's just a matter of getting my parents to let me get my license...

 

[Anij]

As far as learning how to drive... my parents don't know this (so don't tell them! ), but sometimes I borrow my friend's car and drive it around the church parking lot. I've never crashed into anything, and I'm a pretty good driver, if I say so myself. So I know that I CAN drive a car. It's just a matter of getting my parents to let me get my license...

All you have to do is study the book to get your learners permit - then take some classes - many places even have Driver's training with instructors who use ASL to teach in

Then you go for your drivers road test.

You don't need your parents permission to take the written exam OR the road test ... in fact my parents didn't go with me for either.

 

[MintyOreo]

really? you dont need doctors approval. nearly all of us who are deaf/hoh drive.

This info is from the Pennsylvania DOT website. I just looked it up.

Getting Your Driver’s License

Step 2: Have a physician, physician assistant, certified registered nurse practitioner or chiropractor conduct a physical examination and complete Form DL-180 "Medical Qualification Certificate."

This is what I think my mother was referring to when she said that the doctor would "never" sign the papers for me to get my license. However, I just looked on the health form, and it says NOTHING about being deaf/hoh. So I assume that in the state of Pennsylvania, I CAN drive.

 

[MintyOreo]

All you have to do is study the book to get your learners permit - then take some classes - many places even have Driver's training with instructors who use ASL to teach in

Then you go for your drivers road test.

You don't need your parents permission to take the written exam OR the road test ... in fact my parents didn't go with me for either.

I've already studied the book, and I'm ready to get my learner's permit. (My friend made me wait until she turns 16 in May, and we're going to go get our permits together. My parents don't like this plan, but...) And I've already taken Driver's Ed, though I might take another course, I don't know.

 

[radioman]

This info is from the Pennsylvania DOT website. I just looked it up.

Getting Your Driver’s License

Step 2: Have a physician, physician assistant, certified registered nurse practitioner or chiropractor conduct a physical examination and complete Form DL-180 "Medical Qualification Certificate."

This is what I think my mother was referring to when she said that the doctor would "never" sign the papers for me to get my license. However, I just looked on the health form, and it says NOTHING about being deaf/hoh. So I assume that in the state of Pennsylvania, I CAN drive.

ok - you got me there. I didnt know you were from PA. however here in NYS, you just need parent to sign driver's permit application. No doctors needed.

 

[MintyOreo]

Yeah, to me, it looks like in PA, you need a vision screening & at least 20/40 vision with or without correction (I'm good there, with correction) and a physical from your doctor. But, I looked at the form, and it doesn't say anything about deaf/hoh. Now, I don't know whether you have to mention being deaf in the "Other" box where it asks for conditions that would affect your physical driving ability, but I wouldn't think so. I don't know for sure, though. I'll have to look into that.

But, either way, my mother is WRONG! I CAN drive!

 

[deafdyke]

I know many deaf people. My parents, however, do not. Last night, my father was trying to convince me that the correct term was "deaf and dumb" :roll:

.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...........Is your father 100 years old? THAT has NOT been standard terminlogy since the 1910s

 

[MintyOreo]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...........Is your father 100 years old? THAT has NOT been standard terminlogy since the 1910s

Nah, not 100, but he's in his 50's. He also calls a body aid a "hearing speaker box", and a BTE hearing aid a "banana aid". Apparently, these were the terms that he used when he went to school with a deaf girl in high school and worked with a deaf guy in the 70's.

I just couldn't stop

 

[deafdyke]

Nah, not 100, but he's in his 50's. He also calls a body aid a "hearing speaker box", and a BTE hearing aid a "banana aid". Apparently, these were the terms that he used when he went to school with a deaf girl in high school and worked with a deaf guy in the 70's.

I just couldn't stop

I know a lot of people in their 50's, and they do not use terms like that.....Body worn aid has been deriegner since the old days....and banana aid...never heard of that one.

 

[MintyOreo]

I know a lot of people in their 50's, and they do not use terms like that.....Body worn aid has been deriegner since the old days....and banana aid...never heard of that one.

Yeah... my dad is soooo... There are no words to accurately describe my father...

 

[Glenn]

I'm wondering what sort of life your parents envision for you when your an adult. No driver's license, no college education, etc.

 

[MintyOreo]

I'm wondering what sort of life your parents envision for you when your an adult. No driver's license, no college education, etc.

They want me to marry a rich doctor, live next door to them, and be a homemaker who can't drive.

Yeah, right. :roll:

Meanwhile, I want to go to college and get my Master's degree in Occupational Therapy - specifically, I want to work in a pediatric hospital and/or a rehab hospital. (But most anywhere is fine with me.) I'm going to need a driver's license, or at least some form of public transportation, to get to and from work. And I'm NOT living anywhere near my parents!!!

 

[Bottesini]

It would be so nice if Alex would just contact the parents, and draw their attention to all that is being said here.

 

[MintyOreo]

It would be so nice if Alex would just contact the parents, and draw their attention to all that is being said here.

I'm not sure what you are trying to get at, here. FYI, my parents are fully aware of what I say and do, and they have read this thread. In fact, they encouraged me to create this thread, because they won't believe me when I say that I CAN do whatever I set my mind to do.

 

[Anij]

Wirelessly posted (Blackberry Bold )

With the hope that your parents read this:


I'd like to mention that not only did I attend and finish High school - I graduated with Honours and took IB courses.

Not only did I attend a hearing college when I was 18, I graduated 2nd in my class with a 3.99GPA

I also play a number of musical instruments, taught private lessons and taught in-school clinics from the time I was 16years old. I also won chairs and played in a number of youth orchestras as well as a concert with my city's orchestra all before I was 18.

When I went back to school after a successful 11year career in my field, I requested and received ASL interpreters and notetakers to allow me to fully participate in all aspects of class (you do not pay out of pocket for these services).

At the end of the day there will be people who are sadly mis-informed about what it means to be deaf - and many parents are the worst offenders in this. They don't know that there are Deaf doctors, lawyers, teachers, musicians, accountants, etc. Instead they make up an alternate reality in which being deaf is a hugely restrictive thing ... And it's NOT.

There is absolutely no reason in the world that YOU can't do anything you want.

If you schools are providing services using the "we're too small" etc line - that's against the ADA, it's illegal for them not to provide accommodation. It's a parent's JOB and RESPONSIBILITY to advocate and demand services for their child - to make sure there ARE interpreters or CART ... It's not there job to talk-down their child telling them they can't do anything or they aren't worth fighting for (accommodations at school/accessible learning environment etc).

It's time that your parents stopped seeing you as "a poor deaf kid" and started advocating and supporting you the way you SHOULD be supported, because you're their bright, determined, motivated CHILD we Deserves to have their parents fighting WITH them, not against them!

 

[rockin'robin]

Wirelessly posted (Blackberry Bold )

With the hope that your parents read this:

I'd like to mention that not only did I attend and finish High school - I graduated with Honours and took IB courses.

Not only did I attend a hearing college when I was 18, I graduated 2nd in my class with a 3.99GPA

I also play a number of musical instuments, taught private lessons and taught in-school clinics from the time I was 16years old. I also won chairs and played in a number of youth orchestras as well as a concert with my city's orchestra all before I was 18.

When I went back to school after a successful 11year career in my field, I requested and received ASL interpreters and notetakers to allow me to fully participate in all aspects of class (you do not pay out of pocket for these services).

At the end f the day there will be people who are sadly mis-informed about what it means to be deaf - and many parents are the worst offenders in this. They don't know that there are Deaf doctors, lawyers, teachers, musicians, accountants, etc. Instead they make up an alternate reality in which being deaf is a hugely restrictive thing ... And it's NOT.

There is absolutely no reason in the world that YOU can't do anything you want.

If you schools are providing services using the "we're too small" etc line - that's against the ADA, it's illegl fo them not to provide accomidation. It's a parent's JOB and RESPONSIBILITY to advocate and demand services for their child - to make sure there ARE interpreters or CART ... It's not there job to talk-down their child telling them they can't do anything or they aren't worth fighting for (accomidations at school/accessible learning environment etc).

It's time that your parents stpped seeing you as "a poor deaf kid" and started advocating and supporting you the way you SHOULD be supported, because you're their bright, determined, motivated CHILD we Deserves to have their parents fighting WITH them, not against them!

Impressive!....and kudos to you....so many deafies never cease to amaze me with their accomplishments, drive and guts.....Tipping my hat to you!

 

[diehardbiker]

Tell your parents, I was born DEAD DEAF, went to Deaf school on 300 Swissvale Avenue in east Pittsburgh and raised in Iron city, that is if they are old enough to remember it was called Iron City, changed to Steel city, now it does not matter anymore and guess what? I took drivers exam and passed and had the license to drive for over 25 years without any issues.

Here is the dead truth if they can't accept this truth it is their loss that Deaf people CAN do anything BUT hear.

Secondly, ask your parents if hearing is so important part of driving, then why are so many idiot hearing people having their cell phone glued to their ears thus can't hear anything except the person on other line is talking.

Your parents got unacceptable attitude toward to Deafness, and I DO wish that they lost all of the hearing to understand this and their myth will find themselves as BUSTED.

 

[MintyOreo]

Tell your parents, I was born DEAD DEAF, went to Deaf school on 300 Swissvale Avenue in east Pittsburgh and raised in Iron city, that is if they are old enough to remember it was called Iron City, changed to Steel city, now it does not matter anymore and guess what? I took drivers exam and passed and had the license to drive for over 25 years without any issues.

Wait, is that the address of Western PA School for the Deaf? That's the school that I want to transfer to next year! (It's exactly 100 miles from my house, accoring to Mapquest, though.) My parents are trying to convince me that going to WPSD will ruin my chances for college. I think that's just stupid. I don't see where going to a Deaf school will ruin my chances for college. (In fact, it would probably look good on college apps to be bilingual. )

I don't see why being deaf would keep me from driving or getting a driver's license. That's just a dumb excuse to keep me at home, doing nothing and being dependent.

for your post! I'm showing this one to my parents!