How many partners

OhioCincinn · 10-08-2003, 03:56 PM

My man keeps asking me who i've been with and how many people people he even wants names.... I THINK THAT IS NONE OF HIS BUSSINESS. If he really loves me what will it change? It was before him. And i think he's cheated on my and wants to clear the air but i don't want to hear it... so the question is...

1. do you have to tell you partner how many people you've been with and their NAMES, even if it was from before you were dating?

***VamPyroX*** · 10-08-2003, 03:58 PM

Names aren't really necessary. If he's gonna be anal about it, then that's really up to you. Why don't you ask him why he must know?

OhioCincinn · 10-08-2003, 04:03 PM

He said what's the problem why can't i tell him.... I feel like that's private i don't ask him. I feel that sex is between 2 poeple and i wouldn't like someone going around and telling people i had intercourse with them, why'd you have to say ME. Could i not of just been a number.

Mizzou · 10-08-2003, 05:27 PM

I see and MEN asking very uncomfty questions but I will tel him it not your business to know who I been with. I myself told my ex and become angry with me, that make me feel not want to say again in next realtionship but I ended up with WOMEN relationship. I told them I been with few partners before but they like to take of advanture.... hard to believe it in them.

I not mean changing anything, but just give my comments.

You are right to tell your MAN not your biz to know, since you are in the new world and look yourself in the mirror, you can find yourself.

Any helps?? Me bad

OhioCincinn · 10-08-2003, 05:37 PM

Thanks MizzDeaf... It's comforting to see someone understands. I am not ashamed but i don't want him bringing it up all the time after i tell him. He sadi i have something to hide since i won't tell him.

Catmandu · 10-08-2003, 05:48 PM

Sounds like he's very insecure and it's a lot worse for him to hear if you name them all because he'll always wonder God knows whatever he's thinking, but definitely will always have negative feelings and thoughts about your sex life before him. Tell him to get over it and remind him that you're with him now.

OhioCincinn · 10-08-2003, 05:50 PM

Katzie very wise...

Catmandu · 10-08-2003, 07:14 PM

Just PM'd you

HUGS!

javapride · 10-08-2003, 07:17 PM

mizz deaf is right and so is katzie as far as im concern ur guy needs to get over it and let u live in peace, and what's more it's uncalled for him pressuring u, if u told him ONCE that it's none of his business then he should have let it go and move on. simple say u have been with few partners ( men ofc) but u will not tell the names out of respect..... some poeple perfer privacy whilist other just has no respect whatsoever.

bbnt · 10-08-2003, 07:41 PM

Tell him it's none of his fucking business and if he doesn't respect that show him the door.

Tousi · 10-09-2003, 06:52 AM

If there's NO more to the story than has been revealed here, then I side with Katzie and some others. Is there more to the story???? If no, then okay......

Fitnessfreak · 10-09-2003, 08:34 AM

That is interesting... When my partner and I first met and fell in love.. You know how two people share so much informations about their pasts.. he even told me about his past but never named name those people that he had made out with.. Just gave me the number of people that he made out with.. That was it.. He decided to ask me the same and wanted to know how many have I made out with.. So I did the same thing and didnt name name the people.. Not neccessary for us to know... He was quite surprised on the reactions and was very pleased as well.. I was shocked when he told me abt his and I was quite pleased too.. Cuz it is best NOT to assume on this person.. Always try to avoiding on assumptions... Hope that helps..

Fly Free · 10-09-2003, 10:34 AM

OhioCinCinn -- yes other ppl are right i agree with them -- its none of their business unless it happens that u 2 have the same ex then thats when BOTH of u would have known that particular ex is 1 of the ex's of urs/his

10-09-2003, 11:51 AM

OhioCincinn.. your man doesn't have a right to ask you how many lovers you've had or who they were. What you did in your past is your business and what your man did in his past is his business. However, if you both choose to reveal your pasts to each other, it must come with no repercussions at all. Both partners must not judge each other about what both partners did in their past because it's their business, basically. My favourite quote is "What you/I don't know, won't hurt you".

OhioCincinn · 10-09-2003, 11:52 AM

I think maybe it's a control thing.

javapride · 10-09-2003, 11:57 AM

weather its a control thing or not, its still not right to ask!

Liza · 10-09-2003, 12:03 PM

OhioCin, you don't have to tell him if you don't want to.. just be honest about it without having to be heavyhanded. My ex always regaled me with tales of his escapades, and it has always made me laugh! The past is the past, unless you let it continue to be your present.

The way you have approached this, does show that both you and your bf may have zero trust in each other. Have you both thought about getting couples counseling?

Good luck to both of you, and I hope you find happiness!

10-10-2003, 02:03 PM

I agree with most of the people here, it is really none of the guy's business to ask. But of course, with this world spreading with diseases and all, it is important to discuss STDs and safe sex. Maybe the question asked should be "Have you always practised safe sex in the past?" And there's always testing, etc... Being with someone, I think it is important to make sure that both of the persons are healthy and engaging in healthy behaviours. But in no cases is it necessary to disclose one's past sex life.

Mizzou · 10-10-2003, 05:04 PM

K75~ You are right, I never think about that. It is able to ask that kind of question to make sure so wont be fked up, you know. Otherwise, I know it not comfty to ask those questions. Oh well, we all are HUMAN.

lilredridinhood · 10-15-2003, 09:05 PM

in my opinion, he has a right to know how many partners you have had, just as you have the right to know how many partners he has had, but as to who they are/were, that's your own personal business.

10-08-2003, 03:56 PM	#1 (permalink)
OhioCincinn Registered User Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Cincinnati, Ohio Posts: 75	Sex with who? My man keeps asking me who i've been with and how many people people he even wants names.... I THINK THAT IS NONE OF HIS BUSSINESS. If he really loves me what will it change? It was before him. And i think he's cheated on my and wants to clear the air but i don't want to hear it... so the question is... 1. do you have to tell you partner how many people you've been with and their NAMES, even if it was from before you were dating? Last edited by OhioCincinn; 10-08-2003 at 06:18 PM.

10-08-2003, 03:58 PM	#2 (permalink)
*VamPyroX* bloody phreak from hell Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Hell Posts: 27,000	Names aren't really necessary. If he's gonna be anal about it, then that's really up to you. Why don't you ask him why he must know? __________________ Check out my city... CLICK HERE! (If you already visited yesterday, visit again today!)

10-09-2003, 11:52 AM	#15 (permalink)
OhioCincinn Registered User Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Cincinnati, Ohio Posts: 75	Thanks Everyone I think maybe it's a control thing.

10-09-2003, 12:03 PM	#17 (permalink)
Liza Cranial protocologist Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: St Augustine, FL Posts: 3,886	OhioCin, you don't have to tell him if you don't want to.. just be honest about it without having to be heavyhanded. My ex always regaled me with tales of his escapades, and it has always made me laugh! The past is the past, unless you let it continue to be your present. The way you have approached this, does show that both you and your bf may have zero trust in each other. Have you both thought about getting couples counseling? Good luck to both of you, and I hope you find happiness! __________________

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10-08-2003, 04:03 PM	#3 (permalink)
OhioCincinn Registered User Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Cincinnati, Ohio Posts: 75	He said what's the problem why can't i tell him.... I feel like that's private i don't ask him. I feel that sex is between 2 poeple and i wouldn't like someone going around and telling people i had intercourse with them, why'd you have to say ME. Could i not of just been a number.

10-08-2003, 05:27 PM	#4 (permalink)
Mizzou Where is my car ? Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: somewhere in Missouri Posts: 2,593	I see and MEN asking very uncomfty questions but I will tel him it not your business to know who I been with. I myself told my ex and become angry with me, that make me feel not want to say again in next realtionship but I ended up with WOMEN relationship. I told them I been with few partners before but they like to take of advanture.... hard to believe it in them. I not mean changing anything, but just give my comments. You are right to tell your MAN not your biz to know, since you are in the new world and look yourself in the mirror, you can find yourself. Any helps?? Me bad

10-08-2003, 05:37 PM	#5 (permalink)
OhioCincinn Registered User Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Cincinnati, Ohio Posts: 75	Thanks MizzDeaf... It's comforting to see someone understands. I am not ashamed but i don't want him bringing it up all the time after i tell him. He sadi i have something to hide since i won't tell him.

10-08-2003, 05:48 PM	#6 (permalink)
Catmandu aka KaTziE Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Massachusetts, USA Posts: 4,461	Sounds like he's very insecure and it's a lot worse for him to hear if you name them all because he'll always wonder God knows whatever he's thinking, but definitely will always have negative feelings and thoughts about your sex life before him. Tell him to get over it and remind him that you're with him now.

10-08-2003, 05:50 PM	#7 (permalink)
OhioCincinn Registered User Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Cincinnati, Ohio Posts: 75	Katzie very wise...

10-08-2003, 07:14 PM	#8 (permalink)
Catmandu aka KaTziE Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Massachusetts, USA Posts: 4,461	Just PM'd you HUGS!

10-08-2003, 07:17 PM	#9 (permalink)
javapride Java's Big Island Life! Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: hawaii Posts: 6,509	mizz deaf is right and so is katzie as far as im concern ur guy needs to get over it and let u live in peace, and what's more it's uncalled for him pressuring u, if u told him ONCE that it's none of his business then he should have let it go and move on. simple say u have been with few partners ( men ofc) but u will not tell the names out of respect..... some poeple perfer privacy whilist other just has no respect whatsoever.

10-08-2003, 07:41 PM	#10 (permalink)
bbnt King of all I see Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Arizona Posts: 3,513	Tell him it's none of his fucking business and if he doesn't respect that show him the door.

10-09-2003, 06:52 AM	#11 (permalink)
Tousi Registered User Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 7,495	If there's NO more to the story than has been revealed here, then I side with Katzie and some others. Is there more to the story???? If no, then okay......

10-09-2003, 08:34 AM	#12 (permalink)
Fitnessfreak Registered User Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 117	That is interesting... When my partner and I first met and fell in love.. You know how two people share so much informations about their pasts.. he even told me about his past but never named name those people that he had made out with.. Just gave me the number of people that he made out with.. That was it.. He decided to ask me the same and wanted to know how many have I made out with.. So I did the same thing and didnt name name the people.. Not neccessary for us to know... He was quite surprised on the reactions and was very pleased as well.. I was shocked when he told me abt his and I was quite pleased too.. Cuz it is best NOT to assume on this person.. Always try to avoiding on assumptions... Hope that helps..

10-09-2003, 10:34 AM	#13 (permalink)
Fly Free Just me Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Wherever i want to be LOL Posts: 9,101	OhioCinCinn -- yes other ppl are right i agree with them -- its none of their business unless it happens that u 2 have the same ex then thats when BOTH of u would have known that particular ex is 1 of the ex's of urs/his

10-09-2003, 11:51 AM	#14 (permalink)
Freaky Guest Posts: n/a	OhioCincinn.. your man doesn't have a right to ask you how many lovers you've had or who they were. What you did in your past is your business and what your man did in his past is his business. However, if you both choose to reveal your pasts to each other, it must come with no repercussions at all. Both partners must not judge each other about what both partners did in their past because it's their business, basically. My favourite quote is "What you/I don't know, won't hurt you".

10-09-2003, 11:57 AM	#16 (permalink)
javapride Java's Big Island Life! Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: hawaii Posts: 6,509	weather its a control thing or not, its still not right to ask!

10-10-2003, 02:03 PM	#18 (permalink)
kuifje75 Guest Posts: n/a	I agree with most of the people here, it is really none of the guy's business to ask. But of course, with this world spreading with diseases and all, it is important to discuss STDs and safe sex. Maybe the question asked should be "Have you always practised safe sex in the past?" And there's always testing, etc... Being with someone, I think it is important to make sure that both of the persons are healthy and engaging in healthy behaviours. But in no cases is it necessary to disclose one's past sex life.

10-10-2003, 05:04 PM	#19 (permalink)
Mizzou Where is my car ? Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: somewhere in Missouri Posts: 2,593	K75~ You are right, I never think about that. It is able to ask that kind of question to make sure so wont be fked up, you know. Otherwise, I know it not comfty to ask those questions. Oh well, we all are HUMAN.

10-15-2003, 09:05 PM	#20 (permalink)
lilredridinhood DreameR Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Ht0wn, TX!:-D Posts: 616	in my opinion, he has a right to know how many partners you have had, just as you have the right to know how many partners he has had, but as to who they are/were, that's your own personal business.