Responding to hatred

OpheliaSpeaks · 04-07-2008, 06:43 AM

Sometimes I really forget just how ignorant and cruel people can be. Mostly because I surround myself with kind-hearted, understanding and accepting individuals. Have any of you ever been lashed out at for your sexuality? How have you responded to it? Someone drove by when my friend and I (female) were standing at the corner waiting to cross the street over the weekend and screamed, "fucking dykes" out the window (as well as some other lovely names). They drove back around the block and leaned on the horn.
I have never experienced anything like this first hand. My reaction was to say nothing. My friend's was to scream back. I think it's best to not engage, but then again, I also don't think I deserve to be insulted by anyone for who I am.

deafdyke · 04-07-2008, 09:22 AM

Oh yeah........the Dumbass Yah Dudes of the world.
They do it b/c of ignorance, and fear. They are the same people who would have taunted people for being Jewish or black in the old days. It's getting better at least......

***VamPyroX*** · 04-07-2008, 01:10 PM

There will always be stupid people in the world. Whether what they said is fully true, partially true, or a lie, but done in a mean way... just ignore them.

When a person can't get better or feel better, they will sometimes try to make others feel worse. If others acknowledge that they are feeling worse, then this person will know that he/she is succeeding and keep it up. In most cases, if they see that it doesn't work... they give up.

If they do keep it up, then it's more of an obsession and that would be what most people call a mental problem. In that case, you're just fine... it's that person who's mentally messed up.

PuyoPiyo · 04-07-2008, 01:14 PM

I don't understand what you are saying, are you saying that you saw someone lashing on someone for their sexual orientation?

GarnetTigerMom · 04-07-2008, 04:23 PM

I know how that goes, I have nasty people that I see in store act that way and being rude and some of them can be racist and some of them can be cruel to handicap people as well. There are so many reasons why people hate or being rude or acting crazy.

Fly Free · 04-07-2008, 04:28 PM

i just ignore the idiots -- im out and proud and if the homophobes have a problem with it then dont talk to me! thats the way i look at it *shrugs*

OpheliaSpeaks · 04-07-2008, 06:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PuyoPiyo

I don't understand what you are saying, are you saying that you saw someone lashing on someone for their sexual orientation?

No. It was directed at me and my friend.

Byrdie714 · 04-07-2008, 06:40 PM

I never expereince this in my neighborhood or anywhere in the United States.

But when I went to Toronto, Ontario, it was a different matter. A group of us were walking down the street, shopping, and a car load of guys saw us and screamed, "Faggots" and other unmentionable names.

I was in shock that this type of behavior would happen in Toronto of all the places!

Then the guys drove around the block and did it again!

We then went into a restaurant and didn't see them again.

***Chase*** · 04-07-2008, 07:30 PM

Standing on the corner with a friend in boots, Levi’s 501s, Wrangler shirts, and Resistol hats, my friends said some kids in cars taunted, "Fucking cowboys!”

Stopping at a supermarket for grub in our blaze orange vests and hat with tied-up ear muffs, my hunting partner heard a car-load of young women hurl the insult, “Fucking hunters!”

Crossing the street to campus in my tweed jacket with elbow patches and huge briefcase, I’ve seen blue collar guys in hardhats mouth, “Fucking professor!”

I have kind of a question to ask about why the jerks shouted at your friends:

I agree; all these screamers are idiots, discourteous to the core. They’re all mega-jerks . . . but when we wear certain styles that make a definitive statement, shouldn't we expect responses from some lame brains?

I'm thinking sometimes we have to anticipate certain freedoms of speech when we choose to exercise our own first amendment choices. Could that have been the case with your friend's?

shel90 · 04-07-2008, 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chase

Standing on the corner with a friend in boots, Levi’s 501s, Wrangler shirts, and Resistol hats, my friends said some kids in cars taunted, "Fucking cowboys!”

Stopping at a supermarket for grub in our blaze orange vests and hat with tied-up ear muffs, my hunting partner heard a car-load of young women hurl the insult, “Fucking hunters!”

Crossing the street to campus in my tweed jacket with elbow patches and huge briefcase, I’ve seen blue collar guys in hardhats mouth, “Fucking professor!”

I have kind of a question to ask about why the jerks shouted at your friends:

I agree; all these screamers are idiots, discourteous to the core. They’re all mega-jerks . . . but when we wear certain styles that make a definitive statement, shouldn't we expect responses from some lame brains?

I'm thinking sometimes we have to anticipate certain freedoms of speech when we choose to exercise our own first amendment choices. Could that have been the case with your friend's?

maybe each time those people lure hatred comments at you, respond with "Fucking haters."

Seriously, people like that have issues within themselves which have nothing to do with the person they are attacking. Important to ignore them unless they become physical or threatening. That's when the cops should be called to interfere.

OpheliaSpeaks · 04-07-2008, 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Byrdie714

I never expereince this in my neighborhood or anywhere in the United States.

But when I went to Toronto, Ontario, it was a different matter. A group of us were walking down the street, shopping, and a car load of guys saw us and screamed, "Faggots" and other unmentionable names.

I was in shock that this type of behavior would happen in Toronto of all the places!

Then the guys drove around the block and did it again!

We then went into a restaurant and didn't see them again.

That's interesting. We were in Canada when it happened. Hmmmmm.

Phillips · 04-07-2008, 09:05 PM

If I see that ... I will ingore them!!!

***Chase*** · 04-07-2008, 11:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shel90

maybe each time those people lure hatred comments at you, respond with "Fucking haters."

Seriously, people like that have issues within themselves which have nothing to do with the person they are attacking. Important to ignore them unless they become physical or threatening. That's when the cops should be called to interfere.

Shel, My point wasn't how to respond. Your second option -- "Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me" -- is best. Yep, ignore them.

My point is how did the hecklers immediately know of Ophilia's friends' preferences? Were they openly engaged in romance? Did they wear clothing to make that particular statement? If so, it was certainly their right to do so under the first amendment of our constitution. But they also should expect comment. Comment is freedom of speech, too.

GarnetTigerMom · 04-08-2008, 10:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chase

Shel, My point wasn't how to respond. Your second option -- "Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me" -- is best. Yep, ignore them.

My point is how did the hecklers immediately know of Ophilia's friends' preferences? Were they openly engaged in romance? Did they wear clothing to make that particular statement? If so, it was certainly their right to do so under the first amendment of our constitution. But they also should expect comment. Comment is freedom of speech, too.

Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me" -- is best. Yep, ignore them. I agree with that. I always say the same thing is just ingore them as long it not a physical violence. I think hate is such a strong words u know.

Wokamuka · 04-08-2008, 05:23 PM

Anytime I or anyone is the recipient of judgmental, ignorant comments or insults, I am reminded that there is a great need to educate, educate, educate.

Byrdie714 · 04-09-2008, 11:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wokamuka

Anytime I or anyone is the recipient of judgmental, ignorant comments or insults, I am reminded that there is a great need to educate, educate, educate.

But when one educates people and it doesn't work, then what does one suggest?

Tousi · 04-09-2008, 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Byrdie714

But when one educates people and it doesn't work, then what does one suggest?

You go to bed, knowing you tried and when you get up the next day, you plow on.

OpheliaSpeaks · 04-09-2008, 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tousi

You go to bed, knowing you tried and when you get up the next day, you plow on.

Yes, I agree. The whole thing just caught me off guard. I think it's impossible to educate those who do not wish to be educated. There will always exit intolerance, so I guess the only thing to do is take a stand at the moment and not tolerate it. I was just wondering if anything similar had ever happened to other members and how they responded.

PuyoPiyo · 04-09-2008, 01:32 PM

But we did educated people about the racist and why they are not good, we can do the same about the GLBT..

***Chase*** · 04-09-2008, 02:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wokamuka

Anytime I or anyone is the recipient of judgmental, ignorant comments or insults, I am reminded that there is a great need to educate, educate, educate.

Absolutely.

Quote:

Originally Posted by PuyoPiyo

But we did educated people about the racist and why they are not good, we can do the same about the GLBT.

Good point, just so long as we make it clear "we" are the educational systems and workplaces showing diversity is better than intolerance, and it isn't that "they" are not good; it's that "their" behaviors are not good.

Another good point, PuyoPiyo, is I for one have learned far more about GLBT from the educational system here than any other. Good work in that area.

PuyoPiyo · 04-09-2008, 02:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chase

Good point, just so long as we make it clear "we" are the educational systems and workplaces showing diversity is better than intolerance, and it isn't that "they" are not good; it's that "their" behaviors are not good.

Another good point, PuyoPiyo, is I for one have learned far more about GLBT from the educational system here than any other. Good work in that area.

I would consider those good points too

GarnetTigerMom · 04-09-2008, 03:57 PM

"Hate" is such an ugly thing. There so many type of hates and there also lot of "hate" crimes too. Hate crimes send a message that certain groups of us are not welcome and unsafe in a particular community. As a result, studies indicate that hate crimes appear to have more serious psychological effects on the victims and the communities they represent than do other crimes. Research indicates that victims of hate crimes often link their vulnerability to their personal, cultural, or spiritual identity. The result is that victims of hate crimes often suffer greater emotional trauma than other crime victims.

***Chase*** · 04-09-2008, 06:47 PM

What is the purpose of the previous post? After the first two sentences, the paragraph is an abrupt departure from the style and syntax of the member posting it. It's quite obvious that the remainder was cut from some on-line site defining hate crimes and pasted here.

This sort of thing is always curiously out of sync with the topic -- only one reason it's against AllDeaf policy for posting.

shel90 · 04-09-2008, 08:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chase

Shel, My point wasn't how to respond. Your second option -- "Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me" -- is best. Yep, ignore them.

My point is how did the hecklers immediately know of Ophilia's friends' preferences? Were they openly engaged in romance? Did they wear clothing to make that particular statement? If so, it was certainly their right to do so under the first amendment of our constitution. But they also should expect comment. Comment is freedom of speech, too.

I guess I should have added a giggly face after my comment. I was being sarcastic. Of course by responding in that manner will more likely lead to bigger problems. I wasnt taking your post literally.

jillio · 04-09-2008, 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VamPyroX

There will always be stupid people in the world. Whether what they said is fully true, partially true, or a lie, but done in a mean way... just ignore them.

When a person can't get better or feel better, they will sometimes try to make others feel worse. If others acknowledge that they are feeling worse, then this person will know that he/she is succeeding and keep it up. In most cases, if they see that it doesn't work... they give up.

If they do keep it up, then it's more of an obsession and that would be what most people call a mental problem. In that case, you're just fine... it's that person who's mentally messed up.

A lot of truth in your post. Those who feel inferior about themselves often act as if they are superior by putting others down. They are very insecure people.

Oceanbreeze · 04-10-2008, 12:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tousi

You go to bed, knowing you tried and when you get up the next day, you plow on.

Yup! Only thing you can do!

***Chase*** · 04-10-2008, 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shel90

I guess I should have added a giggly face after my comment. I was being sarcastic. Of course by responding in that manner will more likely lead to bigger problems. I wasnt taking your post literally.

04-07-2008, 06:43 AM	#1 (permalink)
OpheliaSpeaks CrackBerry 8320 Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Buffalo Posts: 120	Responding to hatred Sometimes I really forget just how ignorant and cruel people can be. Mostly because I surround myself with kind-hearted, understanding and accepting individuals. Have any of you ever been lashed out at for your sexuality? How have you responded to it? Someone drove by when my friend and I (female) were standing at the corner waiting to cross the street over the weekend and screamed, "fucking dykes" out the window (as well as some other lovely names). They drove back around the block and leaned on the horn. I have never experienced anything like this first hand. My reaction was to say nothing. My friend's was to scream back. I think it's best to not engage, but then again, I also don't think I deserve to be insulted by anyone for who I am.

04-07-2008, 01:10 PM	#3 (permalink)
*VamPyroX* bloody phreak from hell Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Hell Posts: 23,644	There will always be stupid people in the world. Whether what they said is fully true, partially true, or a lie, but done in a mean way... just ignore them. When a person can't get better or feel better, they will sometimes try to make others feel worse. If others acknowledge that they are feeling worse, then this person will know that he/she is succeeding and keep it up. In most cases, if they see that it doesn't work... they give up. If they do keep it up, then it's more of an obsession and that would be what most people call a mental problem. In that case, you're just fine... it's that person who's mentally messed up. __________________ Check out my city... CLICK HERE! (If you already visited yesterday, visit again today!)

04-07-2008, 01:14 PM	#4 (permalink)
PuyoPiyo slotting Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Couve Wa Posts: 3,962	I don't understand what you are saying, are you saying that you saw someone lashing on someone for their sexual orientation? __________________

04-07-2008, 04:23 PM	#5 (permalink)
GarnetTigerMom Registered User Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Virginia Posts: 3,947	I know how that goes, I have nasty people that I see in store act that way and being rude and some of them can be racist and some of them can be cruel to handicap people as well. There are so many reasons why people hate or being rude or acting crazy. __________________ GarnetTigerMom "The rain may be falling hard outside, But your smile makes it all alright. I'm so glad that you're my friend. I know our friendship will never end." -- Robert Alan

04-07-2008, 09:05 PM	#12 (permalink)
Phillips Lets ride horses! Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Somewhere in Northeast Posts: 4,897 Blog Entries: 2	If I see that ... I will ingore them!!! __________________ *Enjoy life today, Yesterday has past and Tomorrow may never come.*

Today
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04-07-2008, 09:22 AM	#2 (permalink)
deafdyke So NOT a Princess! Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: ROOOARRRR!!!, that's where! Posts: 6,097	Oh yeah........the Dumbass Yah Dudes of the world. They do it b/c of ignorance, and fear. They are the same people who would have taunted people for being Jewish or black in the old days. It's getting better at least......

04-07-2008, 04:28 PM	#6 (permalink)
Fly Free Warming up!!! yippee! Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 9,099	i just ignore the idiots -- im out and proud and if the homophobes have a problem with it then dont talk to me! thats the way i look at it shrugs

04-07-2008, 06:40 PM	#8 (permalink)
Byrdie714 Registered User Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Long Beach Peninsula, WA Posts: 1,483	I never expereince this in my neighborhood or anywhere in the United States. But when I went to Toronto, Ontario, it was a different matter. A group of us were walking down the street, shopping, and a car load of guys saw us and screamed, "Faggots" and other unmentionable names. I was in shock that this type of behavior would happen in Toronto of all the places! Then the guys drove around the block and did it again! We then went into a restaurant and didn't see them again.

04-07-2008, 07:30 PM	#9 (permalink)
*Chase* Mod with training wheels Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Albany, Oregon Posts: 1,834	Standing on the corner with a friend in boots, Levi’s 501s, Wrangler shirts, and Resistol hats, my friends said some kids in cars taunted, "Fucking cowboys!” Stopping at a supermarket for grub in our blaze orange vests and hat with tied-up ear muffs, my hunting partner heard a car-load of young women hurl the insult, “Fucking hunters!” Crossing the street to campus in my tweed jacket with elbow patches and huge briefcase, I’ve seen blue collar guys in hardhats mouth, “Fucking professor!” I have kind of a question to ask about why the jerks shouted at your friends: I agree; all these screamers are idiots, discourteous to the core. They’re all mega-jerks . . . but when we wear certain styles that make a definitive statement, shouldn't we expect responses from some lame brains? I'm thinking sometimes we have to anticipate certain freedoms of speech when we choose to exercise our own first amendment choices. Could that have been the case with your friend's?

04-08-2008, 05:23 PM	#15 (permalink)
Wokamuka 1.20.09 : end of an error Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: U.S.A. Posts: 432	Anytime I or anyone is the recipient of judgmental, ignorant comments or insults, I am reminded that there is a great need to educate, educate, educate. __________________

04-09-2008, 01:32 PM	#19 (permalink)
PuyoPiyo slotting Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Couve Wa Posts: 3,962	But we did educated people about the racist and why they are not good, we can do the same about the GLBT.. __________________

04-09-2008, 03:57 PM	#22 (permalink)
GarnetTigerMom Registered User Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Virginia Posts: 3,947	"Hate" is such an ugly thing. There so many type of hates and there also lot of "hate" crimes too. Hate crimes send a message that certain groups of us are not welcome and unsafe in a particular community. As a result, studies indicate that hate crimes appear to have more serious psychological effects on the victims and the communities they represent than do other crimes. Research indicates that victims of hate crimes often link their vulnerability to their personal, cultural, or spiritual identity. The result is that victims of hate crimes often suffer greater emotional trauma than other crime victims. __________________ GarnetTigerMom "The rain may be falling hard outside, But your smile makes it all alright. I'm so glad that you're my friend. I know our friendship will never end." -- Robert Alan

04-09-2008, 06:47 PM	#23 (permalink)
*Chase* Mod with training wheels Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Albany, Oregon Posts: 1,834	What is the purpose of the previous post? After the first two sentences, the paragraph is an abrupt departure from the style and syntax of the member posting it. It's quite obvious that the remainder was cut from some on-line site defining hate crimes and pasted here. This sort of thing is always curiously out of sync with the topic -- only one reason it's against AllDeaf policy for posting.