An Awkward Question...

theStacyGuy · 03-30-2008, 10:08 AM

How do you really know if you're gay or straight or pretending to be straight?

Personally, I could never be with a woman sexually, or not that I can imagine. But with guys I've never really had the best of times either. Sexually, physically, and mentally, I'm attracted to guys. Romantically, but not sexually or physically, I am attracted to girls.

I know, I'm confusing, but hell I'm confused myself.

Help would be appreciated!

Wokamuka · 03-30-2008, 10:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by theStacyGuy

Sexually, physically, and mentally, I'm attracted to guys. Romantically, but not sexually or physically, I am attracted to girls.

You know. Maybe you're not accepting it.

Aleser · 03-30-2008, 11:13 AM

For the life of me, I really can't see how it matters all that much. You'll be attracted to.. exactly who you're attracted to, no matter what 'label' you decide to adopt. If you want to jump in bed with a man, jump in bed with a man. If you want to jump in bed with a woman, jump in bed with a woman. If none of the above works, I've got a few trans friends who are lookin'.

shel90 · 03-30-2008, 12:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aleser

For the life of me, I really can't see how it matters all that much. You'll be attracted to.. exactly who you're attracted to, no matter what 'label' you decide to adopt. If you want to jump in bed with a man, jump in bed with a man. If you want to jump in bed with a woman, jump in bed with a woman. If none of the above works, I've got a few trans friends who are lookin'.

That's got to be one of the best advice I have ever read!

PuyoPiyo · 03-30-2008, 12:43 PM

So you just feel in love with men, but not the sex except for the women? Maybe you just like men as best friends, like buddy, and have a attraction to the women as sexual?

***VamPyroX*** · 03-30-2008, 05:50 PM

Just go with the flow and don't try too hard.

What you could do is do things with people of different genders.

For instance, go out to a party and hang out with the different crowds.

From my experience, I've gone to parties where most of the lesbians would team up when playing drinking games and socialize all night long together. There would also be straight women who just like to hang out together and talk about men all night long. Then there are straight men who like to do macho things, but also like to hit on women. Finally, there are gay men who can be very flamboyant and hit on each other while drinking.

So, pick one group and see how it feels with that group. If you're wondering about whether you are a lesbian, then you can hang out with the lesbian crowd. They will of course start hitting on you. If you enjoy the feeling or have an urge to start hitting on them, then that might be what you are. If you're feeling uncomfortable with what they're doing, then you might have a different preference.

Then you could go with the straight women and see how it feels to just be with women. If you find yourself talking about guys like they are, then you might be straight. That would lead to hitting on the straight guys. If the guys start hitting on you and you actually feel good about it, then you could be straight.

What about the gay guys? I dunno, I just added that to even out the equation.

Sometimes, personal feelings can't always be dealt with alone and being with others can help to realize our true feelings.

JennyB · 03-30-2008, 10:49 PM

Labels are for cans...'nough said

SkullChick · 04-05-2008, 10:01 PM

Yeah agreed with above because sometimes its not the gender attraction its more like person's personality and chemistry that matters if person attract you on all levels then go for it, screw what other people think! :-)
And if you still don't feel any of it for both then you're probably are "asexual" its new term I learned while ago its when person have no attraction to either genders. And sometimes asexual people don't like being alone but aren't attracted to anyone sexually/physically so they married to person that is ok with platonic type love like just love but no sex or anything physical like kissing, etc just so they're there and aren't alone.

Phillips · 04-05-2008, 10:08 PM

Agree with Vampie

"Just go with the flow"

deafdyke · 04-07-2008, 09:28 AM

Quote:

because sometimes its not the gender attraction its more like person's personality and chemistry that matters if person attract you on all levels then go for it,

Yes exactly.
BTW, I kinda think that a lot of asexuals might just be buying into the "oh you gotta be horny all the time" mentality. Maybe they're the ones who actually have their priorites straight....maybe they just haven't found the right person that will get their hearts aflame, and their bodies reacting. I remember when I was a teen, being puzzled as heck as to why sex was such a big deal. Then I fell in love, and BOOM!

03-30-2008, 10:08 AM	#1 (permalink)
theStacyGuy Registered User Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: W.Va. Posts: 3	An Awkward Question... How do you really know if you're gay or straight or pretending to be straight? Personally, I could never be with a woman sexually, or not that I can imagine. But with guys I've never really had the best of times either. Sexually, physically, and mentally, I'm attracted to guys. Romantically, but not sexually or physically, I am attracted to girls. I know, I'm confusing, but hell I'm confused myself. Help would be appreciated!

03-30-2008, 11:13 AM	#3 (permalink)
Aleser Woosh. Yes, Woosh. Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 409	For the life of me, I really can't see how it matters all that much. You'll be attracted to.. exactly who you're attracted to, no matter what 'label' you decide to adopt. If you want to jump in bed with a man, jump in bed with a man. If you want to jump in bed with a woman, jump in bed with a woman. If none of the above works, I've got a few trans friends who are lookin'. __________________ "I swear by my life, and my love of it, that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine."

03-30-2008, 12:43 PM	#5 (permalink)
PuyoPiyo slotting Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Couve Wa Posts: 3,927	So you just feel in love with men, but not the sex except for the women? Maybe you just like men as best friends, like buddy, and have a attraction to the women as sexual? __________________

03-30-2008, 05:50 PM	#6 (permalink)
*VamPyroX* bloody phreak from hell Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Hell Posts: 23,575	Just go with the flow and don't try too hard. What you could do is do things with people of different genders. For instance, go out to a party and hang out with the different crowds. From my experience, I've gone to parties where most of the lesbians would team up when playing drinking games and socialize all night long together. There would also be straight women who just like to hang out together and talk about men all night long. Then there are straight men who like to do macho things, but also like to hit on women. Finally, there are gay men who can be very flamboyant and hit on each other while drinking. So, pick one group and see how it feels with that group. If you're wondering about whether you are a lesbian, then you can hang out with the lesbian crowd. They will of course start hitting on you. If you enjoy the feeling or have an urge to start hitting on them, then that might be what you are. If you're feeling uncomfortable with what they're doing, then you might have a different preference. Then you could go with the straight women and see how it feels to just be with women. If you find yourself talking about guys like they are, then you might be straight. That would lead to hitting on the straight guys. If the guys start hitting on you and you actually feel good about it, then you could be straight. What about the gay guys? I dunno, I just added that to even out the equation. Sometimes, personal feelings can't always be dealt with alone and being with others can help to realize our true feelings. __________________ Check out my city... CLICK HERE! (If you already visited yesterday, visit again today!)

03-30-2008, 10:49 PM	#7 (permalink)
JennyB Registered User Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Ontario Posts: 167	Labels are for cans...'nough said __________________ Jenny~B http://journysofadeafgirl.blogspot.com/

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04-05-2008, 10:01 PM	#8 (permalink)
SkullChick Lil Ci-Borg Chick Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Middle Of Nowhere, Delaware Posts: 433	Yeah agreed with above because sometimes its not the gender attraction its more like person's personality and chemistry that matters if person attract you on all levels then go for it, screw what other people think! :-) And if you still don't feel any of it for both then you're probably are "asexual" its new term I learned while ago its when person have no attraction to either genders. And sometimes asexual people don't like being alone but aren't attracted to anyone sexually/physically so they married to person that is ok with platonic type love like just love but no sex or anything physical like kissing, etc just so they're there and aren't alone. __________________ [Left Ear] Implanted 1/15/08 with Nucleus Freedom! Activated 2/12/08 with Freedom BTE Link for my Cochlear Implant http://skullchick.blogspot.com Link for my Blog unrelated to cochlear Implant http://skullchickworld.blogspot.com

04-05-2008, 10:08 PM	#9 (permalink)
Phillips Lets ride horses! Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Somewhere in Northeast Posts: 4,873 Blog Entries: 2	Agree with Vampie "Just go with the flow" __________________ *Enjoy life today, Yesterday has past and Tomorrow may never come.*

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