Discord amongst the gay community

[Kai Onca]

As I have made some observations amongst my friends who just happen to be gay/lesbian/bisexuals

I'm wondering myself why do this subculture hate one other subculture in the gay/lesbian culture? I am not familiar with the gay lingo- I am fully aware that there are groups within the gay group that do not like each other. If this is how the society views the gay community then how can the gay community ever accomplish gaining full equality in the eyes of the society if they have discord amongst themselves? I think if the community worked together and I believe that unity will be closer than what people think.

[BabyPhat21]

um you are kidding right.......... some culture have a CORE thing - like for example DEAF culture....... outside the circles are HOH, CODA, hearing with deaf children, etc....... to be in the CORE - you have to embrace the culture FULLY - that means everything... another example - religion, the more religious people are the tighter the group are. they view others as liberals or basically not good enough.

[deafbrutha]

Originally posted by Cricket
As I have made some observations amongst my friends who just happen to be gay/lesbian/bisexuals

I'm wondering myself why do this subculture hate one other subculture in the gay/lesbian culture? I am not familiar with the gay lingo- I am fully aware that there are groups within the gay group that do not like each other. If this is how the society views the gay community then how can the gay community ever accomplish gaining full equality in the eyes of the society if they have discord amongst themselves? I think if the community worked together and I believe that unity will be closer than what people think.

Aww come on...straights have the same shit going on in their culture, in fact it's worse cos there's more of them than us. They are forever fighting over whose version of heterosexuality is the right one. Do they give two hoots about being accepted by us or anybody else for that matter?

If I am working for equality and acceptance, it will be on the basis that we are human beings like them [straights] and not on the basis of whether we are sharpening our claws and baring our fangs.

Gays are human like straights are. You don't like every straight person do ya?

[VamPyroX]

It's not just the way culture runs, it's how we respect other cultures. If a hearing person met a deaf person, that hearing person should be aware that the deaf person can't hear and can't talk well. That hearing person should understand and use other means of communication such as the pen-&-paper method instead of rejecting him. The same goes for gays/lesbians. Gays/Lesbians are still people. They can communicate and they can still do things that straight people do. One thing that a straight person should know not to do is comment on the opposite sex with that gay/lesbian person. "Whoa, that hot chick has a nice looking ass!" should not be said by a straight man in front of his gay friend. When I was speaking of other cultures, I also meant cultures in other countries. In Europe, people drive on the left side of the road. Does that mean you have to be an asshole and drive on the right cuz you think you're an American? No, that means you should understand that it's their way and respect them. Go to Japan. It's respectful to remove your shoes when entering a house. Don't negelect them and do it your way, respect them and do it their way. One or two times won't hurt you.

[Kai Onca]

Originally posted by deafbrutha
Aww come on...straights have the same shit going on in their culture, in fact it's worse cos there's more of them than us. They are forever fighting over whose version of heterosexuality is the right one. Do they give two hoots about being accepted by us or anybody else for that matter?

If I am working for equality and acceptance, it will be on the basis that we are human beings like them [straights] and not on the basis of whether we are sharpening our claws and baring our fangs.

Gays are human like straights are. You don't like every straight person do ya?

its not the straight folks that are the ones that need acceptance in the society.. its them folks that are the ones that need to put their differences aside and work together and the goal would be accomplished more quicker.... yet they whine and bitch about not being accepted in the society when they gotta look amongst themselves and work it out from there.... if that group thinks that the society ought accept them to be equals its not possible if they dont view each other as EQUALS? thats my point.

[Kai Onca]

Originally posted by VamPyroX
It's not just the way culture runs, it's how we respect other cultures. If a hearing person met a deaf person, that hearing person should be aware that the deaf person can't hear and can't talk well. That hearing person should understand and use other means of communication such as the pen-&-paper method instead of rejecting him. The same goes for gays/lesbians. Gays/Lesbians are still people. They can communicate and they can still do things that straight people do. One thing that a straight person should know not to do is comment on the opposite sex with that gay/lesbian person. "Whoa, that hot chick has a nice looking ass!" should not be said by a straight man in front of his gay friend. When I was speaking of other cultures, I also meant cultures in other countries. In Europe, people drive on the left side of the road. Does that mean you have to be an asshole and drive on the right cuz you think you're an American? No, that means you should understand that it's their way and respect them. Go to Japan. It's respectful to remove your shoes when entering a house. Don't negelect them and do it your way, respect them and do it their way. One or two times won't hurt you.

this does not relate to my statment.. you're talking about culture respecting other culture. I'm talking about this so called "war" between the GROUPS- i.e. butch, trans, drag queens, bi and so on.... believe it or not some groups do not like other groups in some places. I have witnessed it myself being a straight person.

[deafbrutha]

Originally posted by Cricket
its not the straight folks that are the ones that need acceptance in the society.. its them folks that are the ones that need to put their differences aside and work together and the goal would be accomplished more quicker.... yet they whine and bitch about not being accepted in the society when they gotta look amongst themselves and work it out from there.... if that group thinks that the society ought accept them to be equals its not possible if they dont view each other as EQUALS? thats my point.

However, being accepted by a group does not depend on whether you are seen to behave well, but by whether they consider you human in the first place. It would not matter how well we behave, how decent human beings we are, if straights do not think that to be gay is normal, they will not accept as equals. The same applies to people of colour, gender, disability, and ethnicity..look at the current situation where Arabs and Muslims are judged by a few fundamentalists! So to take issue with how we behave is to avoid the fact of how discrimination occurs. It does not occur because a group of people behave badly, it occurs because a group of people think you are not their equal base don some bullshit notion of race, sex or whatever.

But yes we do need to pull together, but base don common aims and not best behaviour.

[Kai Onca]

point well taken

[VamPyroX]

Originally posted by Cricket
this does not relate to my statment.. you're talking about culture respecting other culture. I'm talking about this so called "war" between the GROUPS- i.e. butch, trans, drag queens, bi and so on.... believe it or not some groups do not like other groups in some places. I have witnessed it myself being a straight person.

I think I understand what you're trying to say. Perhaps, some people feel that their image is being tarnished the wrong way. Sometimes, gays act too much like women that it makes bi-sexuals ashamed to be around them. There are some students at school who are gay but can't do anything because they act like little girls instead of women which is far worse.

[deafbrutha]

Originally posted by VamPyroX
I think I understand what you're trying to say. Perhaps, some people feel that their image is being tarnished the wrong way. Sometimes, gays act too much like women that it makes bi-sexuals ashamed to be around them. There are some students at school who are gay but can't do anything because they act like little girls instead of women which is far worse.

There ain't nothing worng with feminine acting men or mannly acting women. If people have a problem with it, it is their problem not the feminine man or manly woman. Get me? Really funny this, because there is a simailr parallel in the deaf community over how we define our identity - some people will never call themselves Deaf because it embarrasses them, for example.

Swish your wrists boys!

[VamPyroX]

Originally posted by deafbrutha
There ain't nothing worng with feminine acting men or mannly acting women. If people have a problem with it, it is their problem not the feminine man or manly woman. Get me? Really funny this, because there is a simailr parallel in the deaf community over how we define our identity - some people will never call themselves Deaf because it embarrasses them, for example.

Swish your wrists boys!

I don't find anything wrong with guys acting feminine. What does bother me is that they refuse to do some things because they are afraid that it will break their nails or hurt their back. Funny thing is, that person is huge and has huge muscles? I've seen horrible wimpy women who are more mature than these types.

[javapride]

Originally posted by VamPyroX
I don't find anything wrong with guys acting feminine. What does bother me is that they refuse to do some things because they are afraid that it will break their nails or hurt their back. Funny thing is, that person is huge and has huge muscles? I've seen horrible wimpy women who are more mature than these types.

hahah i like ur thinking vampy, but take it from me, some of the ( NO OFFENSE TO THE FEMMIE BOYS) femmie boys were raised as a mama's boys whilist some of the male role act butchy in all aspect, So thier in a sense trying to fit thier personality from my thinking and aspect of all this. I have asked a femmie OLD friend of mine why he has a femine role, he said he feels at comfort and at ease with it but doesn't paint nails or anything of that sorts, he just felt good and comfortable with his natural ablity to be able to fit for himself, hence my saying * every man for himself* he felt good doing what he does best!