Saying goodbye to my BabyGirl

Goodbye BabyGirl…

Her side…

You remember when we first met. You had your tail between your legs. You shook. You looked lost, alone, afraid. I reached out slowly. I let you sniff my hand. You did not lick it that day. I stroked your head a bit. You did not relax. Your world had been turned upside down. You had been taken from your home. You were in shock.

A few days passed. You began to explore your new “kennel” and your new roomies. You discovered that squatting anywhere was no longer permitted. In fact, there were loud noises from the roomies when you squatted in certain places. Soon, you decided to squat in the one place they allowed you. And this was ok for you. You did not mind. You felt a sense of duty to keep the new roomies happy.

Time passed. You developed a bond with these large kennel mates. You would do anything for them. If you saw one of those gray critters in the trees, you would bark wildly, letting them know they were not welcome within eyesight of the kennel. You got to smell them also, when you were allowed to walk outside the kennel walls. They smelled nasty! You vowed to never let them inside!

One day, you went for a dreaded car ride to that building with many others like you. Your kennel mates abandoned you there. You barked for them, knowing they needed you to protect them from those gray critters. Soon, the big people with white coats came. They tried to be nice, but nothing doing. You were not going to let them comfort you. Then you got very sleepy…

You woke up, and the first thing you noticed was a pain in your belly. You tried to investigate, but that is when you realized there was a big thing around your neck! It was heavy. It was ugly. And, it would NOT come off, no matter what you did. When your kennel mates came back, you were delighted to see them. They made that funny sound as you pulled at the leash. They were happy to see you!

Back to the kennel. What you did not know; you would have that thing on your neck for a long time. You could eat and drink. However, you could not play ball or rings, and you could not check that sore spot on your belly. You did not mind though. It was home! And no longer was a kennel. It was now a den, your den!

A few days later, you had to go for another car ride to that same place. What will happen this time? You shook in fear. The people with the white coats touched you in a few places. Grrrr bark bark! When they left, we went back to the den. Then, one of the roomies reached over and the big thing on your neck fell off. Freedom at last! You rolled. You sniffed your belly. You ran. Oh what a feeling!

You developed a special bond with the one that took you for long walks. We went to so many places. You remember the place where I would say “You ready?”, then we ran fast! I even let you check for messages at all the fence posts, fire hydrants, and telephone poles. We walked so many times. You remember when I made sounds, you would look back. You could sense what the sounds meant. You loved to look back at me. You were proud to be with me!

You knew where we would stop. We had a favorite tree, and when we got there, you would lay on your belly and slide along the cool grasses. You never understood why I would walk past all those other dark cool spots, only to stop at the same place. Why not stop at all of them? When you saw those gray critters, you still wanted to get them. I would not let you.

There was one special night, when I was very down. I asked if you wanted “outside, go for walk” and you said YES! It was hard to see that time. The sky was dark. It was a bit cool. We walked and walked. I talked a lot that time. I talked about love. I talked about God. I talked about change. You did not understand these things, but you were so proud of being with me. We finally went back to the den. You were tired, but in a good way.

Not long after that walk, your big friend was gone. I did not walk you any more. My scent faded. The spot where you used to wait for me to notice you, under the desk, was cold and lonely. You waited there a few times, but I did not come. You were sad and alone. You still think about me. You remember running with me, the wind feeling so good on your face. And now it is over. You will never forget.

My side…

I miss you girl. You and I went through some things. You were the constant in my life when it changed. I knew you would always be there for me. No matter what my day was like, you were thrilled when I was near.

There are many kinds of love in the world. There is a parent’s love for a child. There is a lover’s love for their partner. But there is no love stronger than a dog’s love for a person, nor my love for you. You were the best dog I could ever hope to have. I will always compare other dogs to you. Rest assured that my heart has a large chunk missing; the chunk I gave to you. I gave it without condition. I gave it because I knew you would always defend it. And I know you gave me so much more. I will always be indebted. Thank you for your unwavering love.

Goodbye BabyGirl….