Big talk and Happy New Year's!

Last night before my parent's New Year's Eve party we talked about HAs and CIs. For months I know they realize I stopped wearing HAs. Always in the past when I stopped wearing HAs (when I was a kid), my parents say I must wear them and are unhappy with me. But they don't say anything. This is weird to me, but I was grateful they don't.

So last night my mom said the music for the party probably will make problems with HAs. Then she stopped and said she forgot I stopped wearing HAs. She didn't say to wear them or was unhappy. I was so surprised. So I asked her why she isn't unhappy about this. She said she knew this year my hearing is worse and worse. She noticed with HAs I can't follow conversation - just lipread so not so great. She said this summer she saw I didn't hear our big Great Dane bark in the yard with my HAs etc. So she and my dad decide that if power HAs don't work, probably HAs are done for me.

Then she surprised me more - she said also they decide HAs or not is my decision and when to see the audiologist is my decision. In the past HAs never is my decision. Summer school etc never is my decision. I was amazed.

I told her about even with HAs and even in my better ear I don't hear enough for conversation. Even most loud noises is nothing. And tinnitus is a huge problem that before I never have really. Last she knows my audiologist appointment is February and last appointment we talk about CIs. I told her now I don't want CI - I am not comfortable about surgery with school and doubt much benefit for me at 21. But maybe later.

My dad joined us. He is great, but he has opinion of everything and sometimes with no facts. Also with medical stuff sometimes he is pushy (he is a surgeon) or too strong with opinions. He talked about how great CI is and the surgery is nothing big. I said "stop". Never, never do I say to my dad "stop". But CI is my decision - my skull, my hearing, my life. And I research CI more. He stopped. I can't believe this. Then he apologized when I told him for months I do research and I am not ignorant about CI. I almost die with surprise.

At the end of the conversation we all cried because for too long we don't talk about these important points.

The party was great. But the best of New Year's is talk with my parents. They are so great and I am sorry I think they will not understand - they understand 100%.