"Fixing" the child or not? - Page 6

**shel90** · 05-26-2010, 08:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jillio

Yep. I remember that comment extremely well.

It is such a protrayal of an attitude of superiority. Disgusting.

Do you remember exactly what she said? The details are very vague...

jillio · 05-26-2010, 08:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by faire_jour

No, if the issue is a uterine or pelvic maldormation, the c-section does not fix the malformation, it bypasses it.

It FIXES the problem of the child being stuck in the birth canal. Just as a CI FIXES the problem auditory stimuli not being received.

**shel90** · 05-26-2010, 08:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A

oh yeah.. and some deaf people have bragged about how better they can hear and speak --like my sister at one time, but since I got the implant, it seem like she humbled herself and joined the deaf culture and ASL (or maybe it was the phone issues and she had enough of the hearing society). At the time, I did tell her that she should get one like me, and she told me, no she is waiting for stem cell. But now, I don't think she is interested in stem cell and neither am I. I think we both know how much this competition on who can hear/speak better is really hurting us.

Growing up under the audist view of deafness, my best friend and I used to compete with who can hear and speak better. It was awful.

souggy · 05-26-2010, 08:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shel90

And if I have switched to Biology/Paleontology like I had planned, that BSc is good for wiping my ass after I get a job at A&W's!

I like Wendy's burgers more though.

jillio · 05-26-2010, 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shel90

Do you remember exactly what she said? The details are very vague...

I can't remember verbatim because I make a conscious effort not to remember stupid remarks like the ones she made. But the gist of it was that signing Deaf that choose not to have a CI were not as smart or as well adjusted and did not have as high a quality of life as those who spoke and had a CI.

faire_jour · 05-26-2010, 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jillio

It FIXES the problem of the child being stuck in the birth canal. Just as a CI FIXES the problem auditory stimuli not being received.

But you agree that it does not fix the primary problem, just like a CI does not fix deafness?

**shel90** · 05-26-2010, 08:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jillio

I can't remember verbatim because I make a conscious effort not to remember stupid remarks like the ones she made. But the gist of it was that signing Deaf that choose not to have a CI were not as smart or as well adjusted and did not have as high a quality of life as those who spoke and had a CI.

yea, it was something to that reference. I wanted to make sure I wasnt misquoting her as it was so long ago. Time sure flies!

**shel90** · 05-26-2010, 08:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by souggy

And if I have switched to Biology/Paleontology like I had planned, that BSc is good for wiping my ass after I get a job at A&W's!

I like Wendy's burgers more though.

Sad that many of us have degrees but they are worth shit.

souggy · 05-26-2010, 08:08 PM

I've cured deafness!

Just drink this milky sticky substance...

jillio · 05-26-2010, 08:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shel90

Growing up under the audist view of deafness, my best friend and I used to compete with who can hear and speak better. It was awful.

That is horrible.

Frisky Feline · 05-26-2010, 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by souggy

I've cured deafness!

Just drink this milky sticky substance...

ok.

jillio · 05-26-2010, 08:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by faire_jour

But you agree that it does not fix the primary problem, just like a CI does not fix deafness?

Why would deafness need to be fixed if the problem wasn't that auditory stimuli can't be received? All surgery fixes the consequences of a malformation.

souggy · 05-26-2010, 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shel90

Sad that many of us have degrees but they are worth shit.

I think it's partly because society pressured everyone to attend a college or a university that there's just too many people walking around with degrees.

Not everyone is meant to work behind desks.

jillio · 05-26-2010, 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shel90

yea, it was something to that reference. I wanted to make sure I wasnt misquoting her as it was so long ago. Time sure flies!

Doesn't it though! Think how many changes we've both been through since then!

A · 05-26-2010, 08:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shel90

Sad that many of us have degrees but they are worth shit.

yes, my sister's degree went down the drain as well.

CJB · 05-26-2010, 08:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GrendelQ

I get that sense. And then those people who feel attacked by the sight or idea that my child has a CI feel justified in 'retaliating' or acting in what they see as self-defense.

But flip it: should I look at a deaf child without a CI and feel personally attacked? And then am I justified in striking out in self-defense? Should my daughter feel that one of her best friends, who is deaf without a CI, is a living, breathing reproof of all she believes in?

Should you? I can't tell you what you should feel. Do you feel personally attacked when you see a Deaf person without CI? If you felt personally attacked by a Deaf person without CI, that Deaf person would probably feel judged. I'm not talking about what people should and shouldn't feel, just trying to offer a new perspective into why people do feel the way they do. Judgment arises from strong feelings, and it helps to see why others judge when you look at the strong feelings behind those judgments.

Quote:

If I were to make ugly comments such as Shel has experienced (suggestions to "improve" herself with CIs), I'd see how you could take that as a personal offense. But I'm not suggesting that a CI is a wonderful thing for anybody but my daughter, it's not an easy decision to make at all.

So when you 'retaliate' upon encountering my offensive daughter or my offensive decision, it comes at me out of the blue.

I can't speak towards justification. Who's to say what's justified and what's not? I can totally see how it comes to you out of the blue.

It's worth noting that people are offended by just the sight or sound of something all the time because of what it represents for them in their minds. That's why swear words get bleeped out in TV shows and certain ways of dressing get banned in certain countries, because even if the person saying the swear word or wearing the outfit isn't saying anything about what others should do, the fact they are saying or wearing it is enough to offend other people. They don't have to start talking about what others should do, the fact they live the way they do is enough to offend other people.

faire_jour · 05-26-2010, 08:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jillio

Why would deafness need to be fixed if the problem wasn't that auditory stimuli can't be received? All surgery fixes the consequences of a malformation.

You are the only one saying deafness needs to be fixed....

I agree that a CI bypasses the part of the cochlea that isn't working, but it doesn't fix it. It deals with the consequence, I agree with that.

CJB · 05-26-2010, 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by naisho

CJB: It is a cat saying that this thread is too serious.

TOO SRS.

Thanks naisho.

jillio · 05-26-2010, 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by souggy

I think it's partly because society pressured everyone to attend a college or a university that there's just too many people walking around with degrees.

Not everyone is meant to work behind desks.

True, true.

jillio · 05-26-2010, 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CJB

Should you? I can't tell you what you should feel. Do you feel personally attacked when you see a Deaf person without CI? If you felt personally attacked by a Deaf person without CI, that Deaf person would probably feel judged. I'm not talking about what people should and shouldn't feel, just trying to offer a new perspective into why people do feel the way they do. Judgment arises from strong feelings, and it helps to see why others judge when you look at the strong feelings behind those judgments.

I can't speak towards justification. Who's to say what's justified and what's not? I can totally see how it comes to you out of the blue.

It's worth noting that people are offended by just the sight or sound of something all the time because of what it represents for them in their minds. That's why swear words get bleeped out in TV shows and certain ways of dressing get banned in certain countries, because even if the person saying the swear word or wearing the outfit isn't saying anything about what others should do, the fact they are saying or wearing it is enough to offend other people. They don't have to start talking about what others should do, the fact they live the way they do is enough to offend other people.

That is it in a nutshell. Symbolic interaction.

**shel90** · 05-26-2010, 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jillio

That is horrible.

It was during middle school, I think..was for a very short time thank goodness!

CJB · 05-26-2010, 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shel90

Sad that many of us have degrees but they are worth shit.

Tell me about it.

They only start counting now when you get into the MA or Ph.D level because the "bar" has been raised so high.

faire_jour · 05-26-2010, 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CJB

Should you? I can't tell you what you should feel. Do you feel personally attacked when you see a Deaf person without CI? If you felt personally attacked by a Deaf person without CI, that Deaf person would probably feel judged. I'm not talking about what people should and shouldn't feel, just trying to offer a new perspective into why people do feel the way they do. Judgment arises from strong feelings, and it helps to see why others judge when you look at the strong feelings behind those judgments.

I can't speak towards justification. Who's to say what's justified and what's not? I can totally see how it comes to you out of the blue.

It's worth noting that people are offended by just the sight or sound of something all the time because of what it represents for them in their minds. That's why swear words get bleeped out in TV shows and certain ways of dressing get banned in certain countries, because even if the person saying the swear word or wearing the outfit isn't saying anything about what others should do, the fact they are saying or wearing it is enough to offend other people. They don't have to start talking about what others should do, the fact they live the way they do is enough to offend other people.

I have never ever ever felt attacked or threatened or offended by a Deaf person without a CI, or a parent who chooses not to implant their child, or a parent who chooses not to use ASL, or chooses not to use spoken language. Those are their choices, it has nothing to do with my child. What does bother me is when people start assigning motives to MY choices, or saying that we don't have the right to make the choices, or saying that our choices somehow negativly affect their life.

jillio · 05-26-2010, 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by faire_jour

You are the only one saying deafness needs to be fixed....

I agree that a CI bypasses the part of the cochlea that isn't working, but it doesn't fix it. It deals with the consequence, I agree with that.

I've never said anything of the kind. Be very careful with that word "should". I have never used it in any of my posts, and the fact that you keep sticking it in there when you read is the reason that you don't understand half of what I am saying.

**shel90** · 05-26-2010, 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CJB

Tell me about it.

They only start counting now when you get into the MA or Ph.D level because the "bar" has been raised so high.

I have a MA degree and I am still dont get paid like many hearing people with MAs do.

jillio · 05-26-2010, 08:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shel90

It was during middle school, I think..was for a very short time thank goodness!

Middle school is the worst of the years. Everyone trying to find their own identity and comparing themselves to each other.

**shel90** · 05-26-2010, 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by faire_jour

I have never ever ever felt attacked or threatened or offended by a Deaf person without a CI, or a parent who chooses not to implant their child, or a parent who chooses not to use ASL, or chooses not to use spoken language. Those are their choices, it has nothing to do with my child. What does bother me is when people start assigning motives to MY choices, or saying that we don't have the right to make the choices, or saying that our choices somehow negativly affect their life.

Did anyone here say that about you and your child here? Were u speaking of out of AD?

jillio · 05-26-2010, 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by faire_jour

I have never ever ever felt attacked or threatened or offended by a Deaf person without a CI, or a parent who chooses not to implant their child, or a parent who chooses not to use ASL, or chooses not to use spoken language. Those are their choices, it has nothing to do with my child. What does bother me is when people start assigning motives to MY choices, or saying that we don't have the right to make the choices, or saying that our choices somehow negativly affect their life.

So, you don't want people to take your actions personally, but you continue to take their actions personally.

faire_jour · 05-26-2010, 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jillio

I've never said anything of the kind. Be very careful with that word "should". I have never used it in any of my posts, and the fact that you keep sticking it in there when you read is the reason that you don't understand half of what I am saying.

I don't use "should" in that post at all........

faire_jour · 05-26-2010, 08:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shel90

Did anyone here say that about you and your child here? Were u speaking of out of AD?

Just speaking in generalities.

05-26-2010, 08:08 PM	#159 (permalink)
souggy Registered User Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Pacific Northwest Posts: 9,541	I've cured deafness! Just drink this milky sticky substance... __________________ "It is my task to convince you not to turn away because you don’t understand it." - Richard Freynman

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