Dealing with Neighbor complaints of Loud Noises

Anissa · 05-25-2008, 03:59 PM

My daughter is hard of hearing. She has complete hearing loss in one ear and severe hearing loss in the other. All the noises she makes are loud (typically). We had a neighbor call the police, is there anything anyone can point me to that tells what our rights are? We live in a town home which means we share walls on both sides of our house with neighbors...what are our rights?

**Jiro** · 05-25-2008, 04:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anissa

My daughter is hard of hearing. She has complete hearing loss in one ear and severe hearing loss in the other. All the noises she makes are loud (typically). We had a neighbor call the police, is there anything anyone can point me to that tells what our rights are? We live in a town home which means we share walls on both sides of our house with neighbors...what are our rights?

none because there is "noise pollution" ordinance. Best you can do is pad that wall with soundproofing material.

***VamPyroX*** · 05-25-2008, 04:10 PM

How old is your daughter?

There are ways to teach her to know what will make noises.

I've seen some deaf people say that if they can't hear it, then they can't help it. That's a lame excuse when it comes to things that obviously make noise.

It's like dropping a book or slamming a door. Simply teach them that dropping a book or slamming a door is loud. They should be able to determine what's loud and what's quiet.

**Jiro** · 05-25-2008, 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VamPyroX

How old is your daughter?

There are ways to teach her to know what will make noises.

I've seen some deaf people say that if they can't hear it, then they can't help it. That's a lame excuse when it comes to things that obviously make noise.

It's like dropping a book or slamming a door. Simply teach them that dropping a book or slamming a door is loud. They should be able to determine what's loud and what's quiet.

good suggestion.

***VamPyroX*** · 05-25-2008, 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jiro123

good suggestion.

Heh, thanks.

I wish some deaf people would take it seriously. That's something I've had to deal with when I was a resident advisor in the dorms. I'd have deaf students slamming their doors or running in the hallway. I have to remind them that they're making noise. The most common excuse they give me is... "Don't blame me. I'm deaf. I can't tell if I'm making noises." Jeez... there are hearing students who live there too!

Anissa · 05-25-2008, 05:44 PM

Thanks for the great info...my daughter is 3 yrs old, and quite honestly she doesn't care how loud she is. We have tried time out, rewards, and all kinds of other ways to try and get her to be quieter, and sometimes she complies, but, not always. The problem here is that its the neighbors roommate, who called, and I have issues with their noise during the night, but, I am not the type to just up and call the police. This roommate has only been here 6 months, and has borderlined on harrassment as far as I am concerned since he got here...he was a bit tainted when he got here, because the owner next door said that he should pound on our wall if it was ever loud, which is directly opposite of what the HOA rules are. I may have no recourse, but we are talking about a 3 year old, and its during the day...and on the opposite side of the house....

***VamPyroX*** · 05-25-2008, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anissa

Thanks for the great info...my daughter is 3 yrs old, and quite honestly she doesn't care how loud she is. We have tried time out, rewards, and all kinds of other ways to try and get her to be quieter, and sometimes she complies, but, not always. The problem here is that its the neighbors roommate, who called, and I have issues with their noise during the night, but, I am not the type to just up and call the police. This roommate has only been here 6 months, and has borderlined on harrassment as far as I am concerned since he got here...he was a bit tainted when he got here, because the owner next door said that he should pound on our wall if it was ever loud, which is directly opposite of what the HOA rules are. I may have no recourse, but we are talking about a 3 year old, and its during the day...and on the opposite side of the house....

Punishment?

Anissa · 05-25-2008, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VamPyroX

Punishment?

LOL....yes, I guess when I said time out, I meant other things too...my biggest deal is with the neighbor...we had good communication until the roommate moved in...thanks for your help.

***VamPyroX*** · 05-25-2008, 06:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anissa

LOL....yes, I guess when I said time out, I meant other things too...my biggest deal is with the neighbor...we had good communication until the roommate moved in...thanks for your help.

Until the roommate came in?

You said it was the neighbors that called the police. Now, you're making it sound it's your roommate's fault. What happened?

Anissa · 05-25-2008, 06:15 PM

it's the neighbors roommate...I had a decent relationship with the neighbor until she rented a room to this man.

**Jiro** · 05-25-2008, 06:17 PM

what kind of noise was your daughter making? sounds like it's something really loud and repetitive to irate that man.

Anissa · 05-25-2008, 06:26 PM

she closes the doors loud...she runs in the hallway...she kicks her feet on her bed (it's a plastic toddler bed...the top and bottom are that plastic that they make all the Little Tykes toys out of). The biggest part of my frustration is that kids are kids...I am constantly reminding them to be quiet, and the HOA rules are that between ten at night and nine in the morning, it has to be reasonably quiet...which I am very aware of and remind my children constantly of...I have spoken to management before and their take was that unless it was really bad and constant, that there really wasn't much they would do...in other words, they figure kids are kids and that by living here in this little neighborhood (HOA) that all tenants need to be considerate of each other. It's notok for me to have the noises he doesn't like (even though he has said he is a light sleeper and can't handle much noise) but its ok for him to park in the handicap parking even though he isn't handicap...it's all about making excuses for his stuff but not allowing others....

**Jiro** · 05-25-2008, 06:28 PM

ah.... a very picky, easily-complainy type... yea that's the worst

Anissa · 05-25-2008, 06:30 PM

its not fun...I just wish that there was a way to talk...but, he doesn't seem to have any desire...By the way, this is a great forum!!

**Jiro** · 05-25-2008, 06:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anissa

its not fun...I just wish that there was a way to talk...but, he doesn't seem to have any desire...By the way, this is a great forum!!

welcome to AD, Anissa. for that door issue - perhaps you could try putting the soft little pad on door frame. does your daughter wear shoes in home??

Anissa · 05-25-2008, 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jiro123

welcome to AD, Anissa. for that door issue - perhaps you could try putting the soft little pad on door frame. does your daughter wear shoes in home??

good idea...no, she doesn't wear shoes typically unless its for dress-up stuff

**Jiro** · 05-25-2008, 06:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anissa

good idea...no, she doesn't wear shoes typically unless its for dress-up stuff

I think we can safely conclude that the man is just too sensitive to his surrounding. he probably have complained to his landlord about hot water not being hot enough

you're doing your best to minimize the noise and he needs to do his best to just deal with it cuz it's life and it's like this everywhere. if he wants quietness, he can just go live in small cabin in some forest.

Anissa · 05-25-2008, 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jiro123

I think we can safely conclude that the man is just too sensitive to his surrounding. he probably have complained to his landlord about hot water not being hot enough

you're doing your best to minimize the noise and he needs to do his best to just deal with it cuz it's life and it's like this everywhere. if he wants quietness, he can just go live in small cabin in some forest.

lol...thats what the landlord said he wanted to do...thanks for your help and consideration!

***VamPyroX*** · 05-25-2008, 07:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anissa

it's the neighbors roommate...I had a decent relationship with the neighbor until she rented a room to this man.

Oh, that makes sense. At first, I thought it was a roommate that moved in with YOU.

Anyways, what kind of neighborhood do you live in? I used to live in an apartment complex that was split in 2 neighborhoods. One was family-oriented and another wasn't. Those that didn't have kids lived in one side and those that had kids lived in the other side. That side had a swimming pool and playgrounds. It was also 2/3 of the complex. The other part didn't have anything. So, if there were kids... they would go from that side to the family-oriented side. It gave the 1/3 part a lot of peace and quiet. Of course, I was on that side... I'm quiet.

Anissa · 05-25-2008, 07:30 PM

lol....well, its supposed to be for families...but, there are about 10-12 out of the 45 that are single persons or couples who don't have kids...my neighbor is the one that calls the police or management on everyone. Until now, we have either discussed things with management or eachother...but, apparently she and her male roommate want to make it an issue...the thing is we have been really quiet until the last 2 days, and my kids have been inside with strep...I thought last weekend that it was a cold, so for about 5 days they have done pretty good being quiet...but, you can't keep kids in and quiet all the time. I just don't understand why people who don't want children, move into areas filled with kids...not that they shouldn't but why put yourself where you are going to have issues? (I am not attacking you.).

***VamPyroX*** · 05-25-2008, 07:38 PM

Homeowners have the privilege of being a bit louder than normal because their house is 10 to 20 feet away from other houses.

Apartments and townhouses are wall-to-wall. So, it's fair for some apartments to allow people to pick where they want to live. Of course, there will be times when there's an occasional noise or outburst... but when it becomes more than it should, it can be bothersome.

In your case, it seems like it's the new roommate that's being a prick by whining constantly. Is that roommate on your neighbor's lease? Most apartment don't allow unsigned boarders living in apartments.

**Jiro** · 05-25-2008, 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anissa

lol....well, its supposed to be for families...but, there are about 10-12 out of the 45 that are single persons or couples who don't have kids...my neighbor is the one that calls the police or management on everyone. Until now, we have either discussed things with management or eachother...but, apparently she and her male roommate want to make it an issue...the thing is we have been really quiet until the last 2 days, and my kids have been inside with strep...I thought last weekend that it was a cold, so for about 5 days they have done pretty good being quiet...but, you can't keep kids in and quiet all the time. I just don't understand why people who don't want children, move into areas filled with kids...not that they shouldn't but why put yourself where you are going to have issues? (I am not attacking you.).

I think... the area with children tends to have attractive surrounding... and bigger places, perhaps?

Sweetpolly · 05-25-2008, 08:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anissa

Thanks for the great info...my daughter is 3 yrs old, and quite honestly she doesn't care how loud she is. We have tried time out, rewards, and all kinds of other ways to try and get her to be quieter, and sometimes she complies, but, not always. The problem here is that its the neighbors roommate, who called, and I have issues with their noise during the night, but, I am not the type to just up and call the police. This roommate has only been here 6 months, and has borderlined on harrassment as far as I am concerned since he got here...he was a bit tainted when he got here, because the owner next door said that he should pound on our wall if it was ever loud, which is directly opposite of what the HOA rules are. I may have no recourse, but we are talking about a 3 year old, and its during the day...and on the opposite side of the house....

Could you possibly go to your local Deaf/HOH service bureau and see if there is some kind of auditory counseling they can help you with? Seems like you need some help helping your 3 year old with their hearing and communication.

Anissa · 05-25-2008, 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VamPyroX

Homeowners have the privilege of being a bit louder than normal because their house is 10 to 20 feet away from other houses.

Apartments and townhouses are wall-to-wall. So, it's fair for some apartments to allow people to pick where they want to live. Of course, there will be times when there's an occasional noise or outburst... but when it becomes more than it should, it can be bothersome.

In your case, it seems like it's the new roommate that's being a prick by whining constantly. Is that roommate on your neighbor's lease? Most apartment don't allow unsigned boarders living in apartments.

He is not on the lease...so, it may be an issue, I just hate having to deal with it...I am one of those who leaves others alone until they invade my privacy...or really piss me off. I figure....live and let live...until you stick your nose in other peoples business...then you get what you get. I typically leave others alone until I really feel like we need to talk...then I talk...I don't like having problems with others....

Anissa · 05-25-2008, 09:48 PM

they are bigger....and nicer, and most of the neighborhood is really nice. But, we do have a few who are just plain nosey and like to make others personal lives public or miserable.

***VamPyroX*** · 05-25-2008, 09:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anissa

He is not on the lease...so, it may be an issue, I just hate having to deal with it...I am one of those who leaves others alone until they invade my privacy...or really piss me off. I figure....live and let live...until you stick your nose in other peoples business...then you get what you get. I typically leave others alone until I really feel like we need to talk...then I talk...I don't like having problems with others....

Well, he's been sticking his nose in your business. Therefore, you should stick your nose in his... "Say, are you not on the lease? Let me check with the landlord."

Anissa · 05-25-2008, 09:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sweetpolly

Could you possibly go to your local Deaf/HOH service bureau and see if there is some kind of auditory counseling they can help you with? Seems like you need some help helping your 3 year old with their hearing and communication.

We do have her seeing someone, and actually, she is much better than she used to be...I guess that is one of the things that makes me really upset about this...our house is much quieter than it used to be....

Part of this is the communication barrier that we have...we do sign, and speak...but, because we are not perfect parents, and we are hearing parents and have not been in this type of situation, we are learning and trying to adapt to her needs as well as the needs of the whole family. Its a learning process. Thanks for the info!

Anissa · 05-25-2008, 09:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VamPyroX

Well, he's been sticking his nose in your business. Therefore, you should stick your nose in his... "Say, are you not on the lease? Let me check with the landlord."

lol...believe me, I have had all afternoon to think about what I would like to do...I just can't do most of them....I want to get him, just not stoop to his level....lol...but, yes, now that it has been mentioned...I will be thinking

**Jiro** · 05-25-2008, 10:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anissa

We do have her seeing someone, and actually, she is much better than she used to be...I guess that is one of the things that makes me really upset about this...our house is much quieter than it used to be....

Part of this is the communication barrier that we have...we do sign, and speak...but, because we are not perfect parents, and we are hearing parents and have not been in this type of situation, we are learning and trying to adapt to her needs as well as the needs of the whole family. Its a learning process. Thanks for the info!

3 years old can be very impatient and easily frustrated. I know because my parents told me a lot about when I was that age. My parents are hearing and they didn't know how to deal with this type of situation either. I was a very difficult child. My brother is HOH too so that doubles the trouble for them.

Just hang in there! every single day gets better and better. sometimes you'll have some horrible days but it still gets better. it doesn't hurt to teach her to play piano. It helped for me.

Anissa · 05-25-2008, 10:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jiro123

3 years old can be very impatient and easily frustrated. I know because my parents told me a lot about when I was that age. My parents are hearing and they didn't know how to deal with this type of situation either. I was a very difficult child. My brother is HOH too so that doubles the trouble for them.

Just hang in there! every single day gets better and better. sometimes you'll have some horrible days but it still gets better. it doesn't hurt to teach her to play piano. It helped for me.

Wow! Our son is HOH too...but, he is quiet (unless he is really mad, then he stomps his feet) so I do have an understanding there...Piano...I hadn't thought of that for her, but that is a good idea. The one thing about our daughter is that she really can be the sweetest and most adorable child...and then out comes the dark side...lol

Thanks for the piano idea!

05-25-2008, 03:59 PM	#1 (permalink)
Anissa Registered User Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 15	Dealing with Neighbor complaints of Loud Noises My daughter is hard of hearing. She has complete hearing loss in one ear and severe hearing loss in the other. All the noises she makes are loud (typically). We had a neighbor call the police, is there anything anyone can point me to that tells what our rights are? We live in a town home which means we share walls on both sides of our house with neighbors...what are our rights?

05-25-2008, 04:10 PM	#3 (permalink)
*VamPyroX* bloody phreak from hell Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: 40.18, 58.41 Posts: 34,193	How old is your daughter? There are ways to teach her to know what will make noises. I've seen some deaf people say that if they can't hear it, then they can't help it. That's a lame excuse when it comes to things that obviously make noise. It's like dropping a book or slamming a door. Simply teach them that dropping a book or slamming a door is loud. They should be able to determine what's loud and what's quiet. __________________ Check out my city... C L I C K H E R E! (If you've already visited yesterday, visit again today!)

05-25-2008, 07:38 PM	#21 (permalink)
*VamPyroX* bloody phreak from hell Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: 40.18, 58.41 Posts: 34,193	Homeowners have the privilege of being a bit louder than normal because their house is 10 to 20 feet away from other houses. Apartments and townhouses are wall-to-wall. So, it's fair for some apartments to allow people to pick where they want to live. Of course, there will be times when there's an occasional noise or outburst... but when it becomes more than it should, it can be bothersome. In your case, it seems like it's the new roommate that's being a prick by whining constantly. Is that roommate on your neighbor's lease? Most apartment don't allow unsigned boarders living in apartments. __________________ Check out my city... C L I C K H E R E! (If you've already visited yesterday, visit again today!)

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05-25-2008, 05:44 PM	#6 (permalink)
Anissa Registered User Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 15	Thanks for the great info...my daughter is 3 yrs old, and quite honestly she doesn't care how loud she is. We have tried time out, rewards, and all kinds of other ways to try and get her to be quieter, and sometimes she complies, but, not always. The problem here is that its the neighbors roommate, who called, and I have issues with their noise during the night, but, I am not the type to just up and call the police. This roommate has only been here 6 months, and has borderlined on harrassment as far as I am concerned since he got here...he was a bit tainted when he got here, because the owner next door said that he should pound on our wall if it was ever loud, which is directly opposite of what the HOA rules are. I may have no recourse, but we are talking about a 3 year old, and its during the day...and on the opposite side of the house....

05-25-2008, 06:15 PM	#10 (permalink)
Anissa Registered User Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 15	it's the neighbors roommate...I had a decent relationship with the neighbor until she rented a room to this man.

05-25-2008, 06:17 PM	#11 (permalink)
Jiro Aparecium Deletrius Legil Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: The Soprano State Posts: 61,221	what kind of noise was your daughter making? sounds like it's something really loud and repetitive to irate that man.

05-25-2008, 06:26 PM	#12 (permalink)
Anissa Registered User Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 15	she closes the doors loud...she runs in the hallway...she kicks her feet on her bed (it's a plastic toddler bed...the top and bottom are that plastic that they make all the Little Tykes toys out of). The biggest part of my frustration is that kids are kids...I am constantly reminding them to be quiet, and the HOA rules are that between ten at night and nine in the morning, it has to be reasonably quiet...which I am very aware of and remind my children constantly of...I have spoken to management before and their take was that unless it was really bad and constant, that there really wasn't much they would do...in other words, they figure kids are kids and that by living here in this little neighborhood (HOA) that all tenants need to be considerate of each other. It's notok for me to have the noises he doesn't like (even though he has said he is a light sleeper and can't handle much noise) but its ok for him to park in the handicap parking even though he isn't handicap...it's all about making excuses for his stuff but not allowing others....

05-25-2008, 06:28 PM	#13 (permalink)
Jiro Aparecium Deletrius Legil Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: The Soprano State Posts: 61,221	ah.... a very picky, easily-complainy type... yea that's the worst

05-25-2008, 06:30 PM	#14 (permalink)
Anissa Registered User Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 15	its not fun...I just wish that there was a way to talk...but, he doesn't seem to have any desire...By the way, this is a great forum!!

05-25-2008, 07:30 PM	#20 (permalink)
Anissa Registered User Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 15	lol....well, its supposed to be for families...but, there are about 10-12 out of the 45 that are single persons or couples who don't have kids...my neighbor is the one that calls the police or management on everyone. Until now, we have either discussed things with management or eachother...but, apparently she and her male roommate want to make it an issue...the thing is we have been really quiet until the last 2 days, and my kids have been inside with strep...I thought last weekend that it was a cold, so for about 5 days they have done pretty good being quiet...but, you can't keep kids in and quiet all the time. I just don't understand why people who don't want children, move into areas filled with kids...not that they shouldn't but why put yourself where you are going to have issues? (I am not attacking you.).

05-25-2008, 09:48 PM	#25 (permalink)
Anissa Registered User Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 15	they are bigger....and nicer, and most of the neighborhood is really nice. But, we do have a few who are just plain nosey and like to make others personal lives public or miserable.