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Unread 05-26-2008, 11:46 PM   #31 (permalink)
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When I was younger my family was living in a town house. My brother and I are both HOH and don't realize we are too loud sometimes. Our neighbor reported any little loud noise to management and eventually to the police. We tried everything to keep quiet, eventually we felt like we were always on our toes trying not to get a complaint. The worse part was that they were louder than us. There was nothing we could do to get them to stop complaining. The only way was to move away and get a house, which was the best thing we have ever done.

I am sorry you have a whiny neighbor. I am pretty much sure it's going to be one of those "either he or you move" situations.
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Unread 06-12-2008, 01:21 PM   #32 (permalink)
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I ran into the same problem whe I was renting. Some people are too sensitive to noise and they have to realize that living in an apartment there will be noise-they should not be renting an apartment. My landlord understood my situation and quashed any complaints about me an noise. I decided to buy a house in a quiet neighborehood and never looked back, now I can make all the noise I want
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Unread 06-17-2008, 01:08 PM   #33 (permalink)
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I feel for you. I have a 4 yo and 2 yo - - both can hear, though. I live in a condo which has the same set up as a townhouse. My next door neighbor has moved thank god. He called the cops on me. I am loud, I am hoh but I talk loud. I can't be quiet. I am irked by the earlier posts on this thread that say otherwise. I feel I can't help 'yelling' because I can not hear myself when I am quiet, it depresses me. Anyway, I know how a 3 yo can be. They are loud, hearing or not. When they don't get what they want, Japan can hear them scream......I think I heard your dd scream all the way here in Michigan. lol

Don't say you are not perfect parents! You are doing fine. I feel bad for your dd because time outs and other methods of discipline may confuse her. And I know you don't want to pop her spirit. IDK.

I say if she's loud, let her be loud. If you feel safe enough in that you will not be evicted due to the noise, then don't change. The neighbor can call the police till they are blue in the face, I can't imagine a state/county taking tax dollars to sue over the noise of a deaf 3 year old! Why let that man control your every move/sound. Don't.

It's always easier said than done. Good luck.
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Unread 06-17-2008, 05:26 PM   #34 (permalink)
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3 years old can be very impatient and easily frustrated. I know because my parents told me a lot about when I was that age. My parents are hearing and they didn't know how to deal with this type of situation either. I was a very difficult child. My brother is HOH too so that doubles the trouble for them.

Just hang in there! every single day gets better and better. sometimes you'll have some horrible days but it still gets better. it doesn't hurt to teach her to play piano. It helped for me.
Piano??? Won't that add onto the noise?

I also heard that wall to wall bookshelf will cut down the sounds. I think it is a good idea for her to catch the love of reading when there are all those books. I won't be surprised if she is quiet while reading a book. I know she is 3 now but I am thinking of few years later.

You can get used books cheap. I know of a place where used books are free. Keep your eyes peeled for used books... that is if you do go for this.
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Unread 06-17-2008, 05:36 PM   #35 (permalink)
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Piano??? Won't that add onto the noise?

I also heard that wall to wall bookshelf will cut down the sounds. I think it is a good idea for her to catch the love of reading when there are all those books. I won't be surprised if she is quiet while reading a book. I know she is 3 now but I am thinking of few years later.

You can get used books cheap. I know of a place where used books are free. Keep your eyes peeled for used books... that is if you do go for this.
Somebody better take up speed reading!
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Unread 06-18-2008, 09:12 AM   #36 (permalink)
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OMG, that is a great idea. I think I will try it. (wall to wall books).
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Unread 06-18-2008, 08:05 PM   #37 (permalink)
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Piano??? Won't that add onto the noise?
piano or any instruments helps stimulate your mind and intelligence (perhaps). same for painting, book reading, etc. so i'm sure music noise is better than sound of screaming, stomping, etc.
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Unread 07-24-2008, 11:31 PM   #38 (permalink)
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ah.... a very picky, easily-complainy type... yea that's the worst
Darn it! They are too much picky. I wish we are in deaf world! Dammit!
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Unread 07-24-2008, 11:38 PM   #39 (permalink)
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Most apartment don't allow unsigned boarders living in apartments.
What is that mean? Boarders-- I think that means: for example: my sister
bringing with two dogs for visit, but we have one dog for living in my apartment, but our apartment has limit up to 2 pets.
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Unread 07-24-2008, 11:40 PM   #40 (permalink)
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He is not on the lease...so, it may be an issue, I just hate having to deal with it...I am one of those who leaves others alone until they invade my privacy...or really piss me off. I figure....live and let live...until you stick your nose in other peoples business...then you get what you get. I typically leave others alone until I really feel like we need to talk...then I talk...I don't like having problems with others....
If my neighbor who have someone with them, I don't care about them, because it's not our business. I would totally respect their privacy.
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Unread 07-24-2008, 11:45 PM   #41 (permalink)
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I ran into the same problem whe I was renting. Some people are too sensitive to noise and they have to realize that living in an apartment there will be noise-they should not be renting an apartment. My landlord understood my situation and quashed any complaints about me an noise. I decided to buy a house in a quiet neighborehood and never looked back, now I can make all the noise I want
I wish I can live with my cousin house's in California because sometimes I worried about noises in my apartment... fortunately, my mother is hearing, so she could help or alert me to let me down with noises such as exclaims or yelling excitedly. If I live in my house, I would peace in my mind.

Anyways, it's great topic to talk about it!
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Unread 09-07-2008, 07:37 PM   #42 (permalink)
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Doesn't sound like your daughter is being any more out of control than the typical 3 yr old! I think that person needs to chill out, and if your neighbor continues to call the police on you, I would start complaining to the manager or whoever is in charge of the complex that you are being harassed by your neighbor who is living there, but not on the lease. Let them be the mediator. I'd also start calling the police every time he was parked in the handicap spot too. I hate it when people do that!
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Unread 09-08-2008, 12:11 PM   #43 (permalink)
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Ignore the police and tell them you're deaf when they come again.


I've been through this kind of things for many years.

Because I like loud movies, video games, wolf, even I talk in voice loud just so I can hear myself, haha.
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Unread 12-15-2008, 03:54 PM   #44 (permalink)
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I ran into the same problem whe I was renting. Some people are too sensitive to noise and they have to realize that living in an apartment there will be noise-they should not be renting an apartment. My landlord understood my situation and quashed any complaints about me an noise. I decided to buy a house in a quiet neighborehood and never looked back, now I can make all the noise I want
That's not really fair. It would be wrong of me to turn up my stereo to 11, and then claim that if no one else wanted to hear the music they shouldn't be renting an apartment. Some people cannot afford a home, or are not qualified to buy a home. Some people don't have relatives they can crash with rent free. And with this economic environment more people are going to choose to rent because they have no other choice.

Of course, sometimes people don't know that they're being loud. I have 'heavy feet'. I don't live in apartments which are not ground level. If the only option is a 2nd level or 3rd level apartment there are ways I try to find ways to dampen my steps so that I am not disturbing my neighbor -- but that's only because I know I have heavy feet. I can't expect someone who doesn't know they are disturbing me with their footsteps to read my mind.

I can't expect someone to know that they are disturbing me with their loud music or television or game playing, either. It's amazing how equipment placement can make a world of difference when it comes to what a hearing person hears, and what a hearing neighbor hears. I've had to knock on some doors in my time; sometimes it's truly bad, but there's always the occasion where I knock on a door and what I hear from my neighbor's perspective isn't anywhere near as loud as what I hear in my apartment from them.

The sound engineers here can repeat how that works.

As to the OP, I feel sorry for the daughter, because she has no experience except her own experience. It must be very frustrating for her to be herself and yet have people telling her she has to be this way or that way. She has no experience of consequences for other people, and that's not her fault.

I don't blame the neighbor for complaining, either. If only there was a nice way that this could have been explained before deposits were paid and leases signed, full disclosure for everyone. Since he's the newbie, he's probably the one to have to move.
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Unread 12-15-2008, 04:10 PM   #45 (permalink)
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Doesn't sound like your daughter is being any more out of control than the typical 3 yr old! I think that person needs to chill out, and if your neighbor continues to call the police on you, I would start complaining to the manager or whoever is in charge of the complex that you are being harassed by your neighbor who is living there, but not on the lease. Let them be the mediator. I'd also start calling the police every time he was parked in the handicap spot too. I hate it when people do that!
If the person is parked in the handicapped spot, without plates or placard, and they do not have permission from the state to do so, that's evil. You can't always tell whether someone is handicapped or not just by looking at them, though.

The neighbor is calling the police because he is not receiving any assistance from the apartment manager in resolving this issue in a way that's fair to everyone involved. Every renter has rights, including this man. Nobody is happy in this situation.

I work nights. Some of my neighbors have played loud music in the middle of the day. I put up with it not because I didn't mind or I liked it, but because it felt like I had no other choice except to make changes on my end when my neighbors would not (or could not). That may or may not have been the case with the first neighbor the OP had. When some of those same neighbors extended the loud music playing into 2 AM in the morning and I happen to be home, then doors are knocked on, management is called (in worse case scenarios), or the police (if it's a party out of control).

If I were working from home, in my apartment, and it were important to have a 'quiet' space, would I be justified in having an attorney come in to rectify the situation? Would I lose my work-at-home, and thus wages?

Sometimes it's just about peace of mind, and peace within one's living space. All three residents, the OP, her daughter and the man, deserve it.

Would it be acceptable for management to move this man to another apartment within the complex when another has opened up?
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Unread 12-15-2008, 07:28 PM   #46 (permalink)
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I am moderate to severe hearing loss, my wife has perfect hearing. Our neighbors next to us husband and wife are husband almost 100% deaf, wife 80% deaf. When they fight my wife can hear them in our back yard. I can't but she says they are verry loud! But all our neighbors know they are deaf so no one calls the police. May be if you explain the situation to your neighbor it may help.
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Unread 12-21-2008, 03:58 AM   #47 (permalink)
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Thanks for the great info...my daughter is 3 yrs old, and quite honestly she doesn't care how loud she is. We have tried time out, rewards, and all kinds of other ways to try and get her to be quieter, and sometimes she complies, but, not always. The problem here is that its the neighbors roommate, who called, and I have issues with their noise during the night, but, I am not the type to just up and call the police. This roommate has only been here 6 months, and has borderlined on harrassment as far as I am concerned since he got here...he was a bit tainted when he got here, because the owner next door said that he should pound on our wall if it was ever loud, which is directly opposite of what the HOA rules are. I may have no recourse, but we are talking about a 3 year old, and its during the day...and on the opposite side of the house....
Me and my son is deaf. He's 2 years old. He kept voice a lot, my bf getting annoying by him, he told my kid to be quiet..shhh..But my son doesn't understand because he can't hear it. He keep voice while sitting in carseat or anywhere. Also, when I try to call someone name but then bf said stop, it hurt his ear when I yelling loud. I was like huh I feel like I only made voice low. He said NO ITS HURT MY EAR!!! We always fighting about loud. Today we had early christmas, I gave him present for protect things for ear. lol He was laughing and used it. Maybe you should give your neightbor a small present for protect ears lolol!

But honest, I still using the voice when I try to call someone to look at me. I couldn't stop, it's one of my bad habit.
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Unread 12-21-2008, 08:49 AM   #48 (permalink)
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I wonder if any of you have the Owner's (or the Resident's) handbook and also, Bylaws and articles of organization, to find out about the noise law. I caution that all the laws are not the same. (I am the owner of the townhouse, BTW... Also, I am the board member... )
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Unread 12-21-2008, 12:51 PM   #49 (permalink)
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My roommate has a powerful sound system hooked up to his DVD player and television. So, when we play a DVD that has a lot of loud noises... someone who lives upstairs will come down and complain.

It's only happened twice.

The first time was a couple months ago when I was watching a classic Godzilla movie. You know... the footsteps that Godzilla makes? It was during the afternoon (around 1 pm) and a man came downstairs saying that his baby was taking his daily nap at that time. I apologized and turned down the sound. (He was staying with his parents for a couple months before moving elsewhere.)

The second time was last week when I was watching Wanted at 10 pm. You know... all the shooting? Even though quiet hours starts at 12 am, it was a bit too loud to be played at 10 pm. This time, another guy came down (the father of the guy who came a couple months ago). He said it was a bit too loud... not in a whining attitude, but a friendly attitude. I apologized and turned it down.
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Unread 12-22-2008, 09:51 AM   #50 (permalink)
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The second time was last week when I was watching Wanted at 10 pm. You know... all the shooting? Even though quiet hours starts at 12 am, it was a bit too loud to be played at 10 pm. This time, another guy came down (the father of the guy who came a couple months ago). He said it was a bit too loud... not in a whining attitude, but a friendly attitude. I apologized and turned it down.
quiet hours at your place start at midnight? nice! at mine they start at 10 pm and end at 7 am.
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Unread 12-22-2008, 10:04 AM   #51 (permalink)
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Noise ordinance here is 10 pm.
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Unread 11-01-2009, 10:35 PM   #52 (permalink)
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I see I am not the only deaf person going through this situation; however, I do have a question. What do I do If they give up calling the police and now are taking my family to court. The police told them that they would not help press charges against us and told the him to let it go. Instead he went to the court and pressed his own charges. What do I do?
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Unread 11-01-2009, 10:42 PM   #53 (permalink)
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It is not a lame excuse. The wave of noises differs. The noise that bothers you is not the noise that'll bother a deaf person. Not even a Hard of hearing person can hear as well as a hearing person.

If you took a book and threw it down so hard in a room full of hearing and deaf people, then almost all the hearing people would jump, but the deaf people would either miss it or just look up to see who is trying to get their attention, but it wouldn't scare them one bit.

They may hear a vaberation, but not the sound that it made.

This is one way in deaf culture that we use to get others deaf people's attention. We use vaberation, but not sounds. We are unable to hear sounds that may annoy you and they have to be very much louder for a deaf person to hear. Also, some deaf people are profound deaf and this excuse is very real.
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Unread 11-01-2009, 10:52 PM   #54 (permalink)
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How old is your daughter?

There are ways to teach her to know what will make noises.

I've seen some deaf people say that if they can't hear it, then they can't help it. That's a lame excuse when it comes to things that obviously make noise.

It's like dropping a book or slamming a door. Simply teach them that dropping a book or slamming a door is loud. They should be able to determine what's loud and what's quiet.
"a deaf person is a deaf person and should not be forced to understand what a deaf person is not meant to understand. Sounds, are the very thing that a deaf person is lucky not to hear as a hearing person. The only lame exuse is a hearing person saying a deaf person needs to learn what sounds are and respect the hearing person next to them. That is your will! My will is to tell you to learn to sign language and no more speaking because it annoys me when I see your lips moving in public because I think your talking about me. Lame, don't ya think? It's like telling a blind person he's jaywalking and that he should know it.
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Unread 11-01-2009, 11:50 PM   #55 (permalink)
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It's like telling a blind person he's jaywalking and that he should know it.
Blind and some deafblind people know when they're jay walking because they can hear traffic patterns.

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Unread 11-02-2009, 05:55 AM   #56 (permalink)
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Blind and some deafblind people know when they're jay walking because they can hear traffic patterns.



Not all of them..... Not all blind people learn to control this ability, just as deaf people. Not all of them learn to control the ability.

Blame the blind man, when he can't identfiy who shot who when the shooting only happened 2 feet from him. Duh, he's blind, but blame him anyway.. it's a lame excuse.. Makes sense? I should hope not!
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Unread 11-02-2009, 10:29 AM   #57 (permalink)
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none because there is "noise pollution" ordinance. Best you can do is pad that wall with soundproofing material.
However that ordinance is measured by dB.
Tell the neighbor if he can prove the loudness was exceeded in dB - you would do something about it.

That has happened to me and my friends on our dirt bikes. We grew up on 5-10 acre parcels. The ordinance was 110 db or sometihng like that on the street, we were doing 100.
SOOOO.... the HOA made a new rule in the coummunity it was 80db.
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Unread 11-03-2009, 04:51 PM   #58 (permalink)
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SOOOO.... the HOA made a new rule in the coummunity it was 80db.
I despise HOA's! too many yuppies and naysayers. I moved far away enough so I wouldn't have to do deal with them.
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Unread 12-14-2009, 12:05 AM   #59 (permalink)
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hey

Quite honestly this is interesting to, me because I have an apartment studio. For those who don't know studios are one room apartments no bedroom. Anyway, the apartments were advertised as having sound proofing cement walls. One day my nieghbor for a few days would knock hard due to noise. All of my friends agreed that I was being very quiet I mean he even knocked because we were talking one night, talking general speaking voice. Anyway one day I notice I would hear strange sounds like people peeing and anything relating to the bathroom, but not like running water. Which made me realize it was a vent in my bathroom. Now I just keep my bathroom door shut exspecially late at night. If you own the town home or are obtaining ownership, look into the option of better sound proofing. Otherwise strange situations or construction, if you are renting and the construction of the place is the issue maybe worth moving. Especially since the noise is mostly during the day and natural noises, not music or loud tv. Meaning to say they aren't reguarded as intentionally annoying a neighbor or avoidable.
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