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Rambling is good. It helps us to work through things.
I will agree with you that socialization is an extremely important part of the educational process. A child who is isolated and feeling alone cannot concetrate on the curriculum. Nor can they proceed through the psychosocial stages of development.
You stated that the people from the oral school would tell you that you did things backwards. It doesn't matter what the people from the oral schools tell you. What matters is listening to your child, attending to all of her needs...educational, social, and psychological...and doing what you will know in your heart is right for your child.
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