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Deborah,
Very luckily, total and complete ASL seperatism is overall pretty rare. Even many people who Sign only, are open to those who are orally skilled. I have some friends who Sign only, and who are perfectly OK with those of us who are just hoh.
There are also MANY orally skilled folks who straddle the fence. Just here alone, there are tons and tons of Deafies who love music, and who love being a part of the hearing world. Believe me, the Sign only community is VERY small. I think I read that less then 5% of Deafies are Sign only. Your daughter will be very welcome at many Deaf events and schools and things. I know you might be a bit hesistant about your daughter's interactions with the ASL community. There ARE some extremists......but overall, the community can be very welcoming. As long as an orally skilled kid wants to learn ASL and doesn't look down on ASL users, (ie thinking that they are better educated ) they will generally be accepted.
Heck, did you know that there are people who use Sign as a primary language who don't even have a hearing loss? There are plenty of kids with apraxia(non mentally retarded) who use Sign as a primary language. At least two schools for the Deaf, have programs for kids with apraxia.
And, actually your daughter's experiance , until recently was very common. A lot of oral sucesses in the past, didn't learn Sign until they were a bit older.
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