Originally Posted by faire_jour

I am the hearing mother of a Deaf child. The other child, "E" went to school with my daughter. They were friends, E came to my daughter's birthday party. E's family was very slowly learning ASL, though the father never seemed interested. Then one day E was no longer at school. I contacted E's mother and she told me that E had been returned to the adoption agency. E's mother told me that there were many reasons they had "returned" her, but (and she said she only confessed this to me because she knew I would understand because I was hearing....I didn't understand) one of the reasons was because they had always assumed that E would be a CI canidate and the E would learn to speak and understand spoken language.
I was horrified. I reached out to other parents of Deaf children for support on what to say to this mother. Some how the story went from private to public.
For the record, my daughter still attends the only ASL school in the area so if she was adopted locally it was to a family that intends to have her learn to speak and listen. But I hope that she was just adopted outside my state.
My biggest problem with the whole situation is that the child didn't understand. She was 6 years old but she only had the language of a 18 month old. I think about them putting E into the car, taking her to a strange place, and just leaving her there. It is horrible. She would have no explanation, and no one there to comfort her, no one who even understood her language. I am still nausated every time I think about it.