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Since having Violet I have a low self esteem, I end up in tears for no reason, if its a hard day with the children I feel like a failure and most days I don't actually want to get out of bed, I've been at a low low point where dark poetry emerges and its horrible. When I'm around people I smile and be a dutiful mother, when i'm on my own I don't want to be alive if that makes sense. I'm on anti depressents for it, and these take the edge of how I feel thankfully.
The problem with PND and when you tell people about it is they think its a mental state thing, whereas its not, the hormone balance after giving birth is has not been balanced out and it prevents you from controlling your body and emotions like pre-birth.
I love my girls so dearly and I wouldn't be without them. I really do want to stop feeling like this though.
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