Quote:
Originally Posted by Bear
LOL I used to be like several of you and not believe in spankings and believed in positive reinfocements and other forms of discipline.
With my daughter that worked fine.
THEN my son was born. I learned quick to rethink my initial thought of how to raise him.
While he is in trouble for something he didnt do.
He was an ADD child and a HANDFUL. If I sent him to his room as punishment, he would wait till I was in the bathroom, then sneak out the door. If I put him in the corner for time out, he would wait till I had to do something and leave the room, out the door he goes. If I tried to talk to him about it he would just roll his eyes. I called the cops on him, and the cop did talk to him and the very next day he was right back to the same behaviour. I couldn't ground him at all, as the minute I went to the bathroom or turned my back on him to do something, out the door he would go. I took things away from him, that didnt bother him at all he would just sneak out the door.
I had him in counseling, I went to parenting classes, I went to counseling and NO ONE had any answers on how to deal with him.
MAYBE just MAYBE if I had spanked him while he was growing up, he may not be in the trouble he is in today.
ANYONE can say what they want about spankings, but UNTIL they raise a true problem child, I would say they know next to nothing about how valuable and useful a few swats on the but could be.
Have a child like my son was and then get back to me.
I find it funny though that when my son was in the foster home, these so called experts couldnt control him either! Their only answer was to lock him up in a detention facility.He would have been better off with me at home, than with them. At least I was trying to correct his behaviour. Not shove it off on someone else.
When I was growing up, we were spanked with belts, switches *anyone remember that? Having to go out and cut a switch off the tree?* and many other items. And we had paddlings in school, and was told you get in trouble at school, you get it at home too!
We also grew up having respect for our parents, ourselves, and our elders. We sure didnt get into trouble like these kids are today. Look it up and see how many school shootings there were back then! Look it up and see how much juvenile crime there was back then!
I challenge you to actually see for youselves the differences in our children then and now!
I also challenge you to try raising a son like mine was.
Luckily, my son is older now and realizing just how destructive his behaviour was for him.
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Bear, I can relate somewhat but nothing close to what you have experienced.
My dad and my stepmom went through a similar experience with their oldest son (my hearing brother) . They have 3 boys together and their oldest one was very destructive growing up. I remember when I was 17 years old and I was babysitting both of my brothers (he was 18 months old and my other one was like 4 months old), I saw my brother pick up a pencil and ran to his baby brother to try to stab him with the pencil. Luckily, I was sitting next to the baby so I stopped him. Most people would have passed it off as jealousy but there was something in his facial expression that gave me the feeling that something wasnt right. I informed my dad and my stepmom..they told me that I was imagining things. As a teenager, I took their word for it. Well, problems started popping up and he was diagnosed with ADDHD later.
From that time on, my dad and my stepmom tried different discipline approaches from spanking, time-outs, loss of priveledges, and even sending him away...nothing worked.
Problems got seriously worse when he entered puberty. Some situations led him getting arrested a few times and one even had him near death out in the desert in which a helicopter had to be dispatched. My dad and my stepmom spent thousands and thousands of dollars on therapy and different programs but nobody could work with my brother.
Finally, at the age of 17, he got referred to a well-known specialist in that fiedl and he was diagnosed with bipolar. Since the diagnosis, things have improved and now my brother is is 19 years old and working on putting his life back together.
Even spanking didnt work..when a child has a mental illness, the common practices of disciplines usually do not work that I know of.
It was very very stressful on my dad, his wife and their other 2 boys and it almost tore the family apart a few times. However, one of the good things that came out of this was that my dad finally sought therapy for himself to work on his anger and management issues. Finally, my dad admitted that he had anger issues and is now more even tempered. His blood pressure has finally returned to normal and his marriage with my stepmom is much stronger now.
I have seen a lot of the situations involving my brother when I visited them and some of them were frightening so I appluad u, Bear, for standing strong.