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kimbrly818 · 10-24-2007, 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deafdyke

Oh really? Did not think about that. However, I'd say that 99% of res kids do go home on the weekends.
Wait..............you said that you have family near the deaf school right? Maybe a good alternaitve would be having your daughter live with your family, and you could come down and be a "mom" every few days.
I can understand and I totally feel for you. It does seem like some of the mainstreamer advocates can be VERY out of touch about how hard it can be to get good accomondations for kids with classic disabilites at mainstream schools.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jillio

Yeah, I was wondering, kimberly, how old your daughter is? You have said that you didn't discuss your negative feelings about her attending the deaf school, or your feelings about abandoning her. Even young children are able to understand things of this nature if you keep it in line with their age. I certainly would not say that you should have an adult level of discussion with your daughter, but to let her know that you also have mixed feelings, and are not happy with the situation in all ways, but also explain to her why, in spite of the fact that you, too would rather have her at home every day after school, you feel that this is best for her education at this point in time, and that is why you have made your decision. Often times, if we admit to our children that we are confused and conflicted, they are able to relate and see our point of view a little easier. To let them know that sometimes you have to do something that also causes you discomfort also shows them that parents don't just make decisions for no reason, and that we understand the feelings and concerns that the children have, because we feel the same way. But that adults must sometimes do what is best, not just what is most comfortable. In that way, you will not only give her a new understanding or you, a a parent, but help her to develop her hown mature attitudes. It really is okay for our kids to know that we are vunerable and human, and sometimes confused just as they are.

I wish you good things for both you and your daughter.

She is 10 and we have had talks on her level and I've told her how I feel too and it really is hard for me too. We've always been able to talk eye to eye. Another thing that is bothering me is that she is not really active with her hearing family members really at all. She ONLY WANTS to talk to me really, she kinda shuts off her brother and sister and her dad now. Her brother has to plea with her for a long time and even comes to me for help to get her to do something with him that she would normally do. Just feeling like the gap is widening and it's not just because she's gone during the weekdays.