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Originally Posted by Kaitin
To me mental illness = a problem to be cured or tried to. It is not healthy and not seen as "the normal". Maybe it doesn't matter to the person though. I know nothing about any of thread, so I maybe shouldn't say. I am trying to understand and I am so surprised with the replies.
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Learning new stuff is always good
I think that your perception of "mental
illness" very much follows the medical model. In that model, such an illness is indeed something to be cured. In the medical model of disabilities, deafness is also something wrong, something broken, to be cured. I know many Deafies who disagree with the idea that their deafness is something broken or to be cured. It really is all a question of perception. Whether you call it a mental illness, or a psychological disorder, it just *is*. While it is distressing and problematic to have a mental illness (I also suffer from chronic depression), it should be no more a problem than being paralysed, being deaf, or being blind. It simply is a different state of being. I wrote more about this here:
Impairment vs. Disability - BIID-Info.org
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaitin
Is saying "pretending to be handicapped" correct (before surgery)? Is "pretending" bad or offensive?
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I don't think the term "pretending" is bad or offensive. It depends a bit on how you apply it. I don't pretend to use a wheelchair, i'm really using a wheelchair. Because my self-image is that of a paraplegic, when asked, I do "pretend" to having paraplegia.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaitin
Do you tell family and friends?
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Some people have told their family and friends, others haven't. Many people with BIID have strong feeling of shame and guilt associated to it, and it is hard to tell. Also, for some people, they kept this hidden from their family for so long that telling them now would show a breach of trust, so it is not really possible.
I myself have told my parents, who don't understand it, nor do they accept it. They are dealing not only with the fact I have BIID, but with the fact of their own negative prejudice against disabilities in general. I suppose it is not easy on any parents to learn their kids has something like this and would be easy for them to feel guilty, to think they've done something wrong. My parents have indeed done many wrong things, but I don't believe they are the cause of my BIID. I have told many of my friends also, with more or less success. I have promised myself to tell the truth with anyone I become significantly involved with romantically. I have currently been together with the same woman for several years and it was one of the first things I told her about me when I saw it was turning out to be serious. There are many ups and downs with it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaitin
With homosexuality people say often "I knew when I was a young kid" - same with BIID?
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My earliest memory goes back to age 3 or 4. That is, my earliest memory about anything, and it also happens to be my earliest memory related to BIID. Most people recall memories back to the pre-teens (see Smith, M. 2005, Desire for amputation of a limb: paraphilia, psychosis, or a new type of identity disorder. Psychological Medecine, available through
CJO - Abstract - Desire for amputation of a limb: paraphilia, psychosis, or a new type of identity disorder or through
Desire for amputation of a limb: paraphilia, psychosis, or a new type of identity disorder - BIID-Info.org). There are also several short entries from transabled individuals (that is, people who have BIID on the transabled.org blog in the "Early memories" category:
Early memories » transabled.org » Blogging about BIID )
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaitin
And how common is BIID? Extremely rare?
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It's hard to say, really. Ten years ago, there weren't many people who knew about it, and there weren't many people in the "wannabe" circles. But as time goes on and awareness of the condition evolves, more and more people are identifying as having BIID. Most of these people always had the feelings, but thought they were the only ones in the world. Some BIID discussion groups have a couple thousand participants. I don't think it's that prevalent in society, but I suspect it's more prevalent than we could think of at first.
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Originally Posted by Kaitin
What is "transfestic fetishism"? (If this is adult-only, please say and don't answer - this isn't adult-only spot. Thank you.)
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It should in fact have been written transvestic fetishism. It is somewhat adult related, but I don't believe the explanation is x-rated or innapropriate for youths.
Transvestic is related to transvestism, which is generally understood as someone wearing clothes of the opposite gender. Generally guys dressing up as women, because for some strange reasons it's ok for women to wear men's clothes in our society, but not the other way around! Fetishism is having a fetish for, or being inordinately sexually attracted by something. So transvestic fetishism would be to be turned on by guys who wear women's clothing (that is a very broad definition, of course).