05-14-2007, 06:43 AM
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#74 (permalink)
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My 3 darling princesses
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Germany
Posts: 27,053
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[quote]
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Originally Posted by Reba
If a parent allows a minor child to drink alcohol, how does that parent know that he or she is not triggering an addiction for alcohol?
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Like what PuyoPiyo said is enough but I would to add bit.
If the parents didn't teach the children to respect the alcohol then they would end wrong path because they thought alochol is the fun which is not.
We drank alcohol moderately front of our children. (family meal, relax evenings), then they will know what it is about. If we do not drink alcohol moderately front of my children or not teach them to respect alochol then they will end into wrong path thru peers...
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Do parents intentionally expose their children to other potentially dangerous situations just to "educate" them?
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Again like what PuyoPiyo said.
If you keep on forbid them to experience and then they will experience behind your back in wrong path. The children need right discipline from the parents than forbid them to experience.
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Do you let your young kids:
* experience the flame on the stove
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Yes, it's not just stove but 2 fire-places, candles, etc. I taught my children to not touch because they are too hot but I know it doesn't help because they are stubborn curious so I lit a candle and show my toddlers and told them that it's Occchhh hot.... I point my finger near the candle and feeling it's hot... Ouuccchhhh it's hot... They were like not beleive in me and point their finger and feeling it's hot when their finger goes near and near the candle... Oouuccchhh... They know now it's hot... They knew from feeling when they go near as we added the woods to fire places and then keep distance from fire place automatic... and said to me... ooouccch hot... I said Yessss, it's hot ooouuuccchhh... I rather to show them something than forbid them then it will make them curious more and more and then end accident. They look at me cooking... woooowwww ... ouuuccchhh hot... I taught them to blow the hot food gentle before eat them...
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* drive the family car on the interstate without a license
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Good thing is here in Germany - we parents do not allow to teach our children how to drive. If they want to learn driving then go to driving school. We all are being raised to know if we want to learn how to drive then go to driving school. I know it's different law in America as here in Europe.
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* try various illegal drugs
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What PuyoPiyo said is right.
Good thing is there're school education about drugs, sex education, etc at my boys' school. I allow my boys to read about addiction and TV that's and how the people killed by drug overdose because they have the right to know what it is about. I taught them about drugs, etc. I opened my boys about my sister until they saw themselves that my sister died of drug overdose last year.
Honestly, we have no experience like this here in Germany. My boys are animal lover. They loves to pat strange dogs and cats to the public... I have pets all my life and never experience to tease the pets like this but I know that toddlers hurt the pets by pull the pets' tails etc. My sons were toddlers and pulled cat's tail... Sussi scratched and bite them... They won't pulled Sussi's tail ever again. I would share if I have experience but I don't.
Again, like what PuyoPiyo said... It's us parent who tell them to not do that again and explain why.
Here in Germany is very strict... We adult and children must stay and wait until the traffic light tell us to walk... I taught my children to wait until the Green light said "Walking" then we walk... If the Red stop said "Don't walk" then we wait. If police sees us ignore the traffic light then we pay penalty fine. Its about children protection.
Oh yes, my 9 years old sister taught me how to smoke when I was 10 years old and don't like it...
Oh yes, my boys experienced smoking out of curiousity at 2 years ago. Should I angry with them for that? No, I educated them positive ... If I punish my boys for that and scream to them "Don't do that again" then they will ignore it because they don't know what it is about because it's just because we are angry and said "Do not that again"... and end to addict smoking more and more...
Again, PuyoPiyo said is correct. Thats' why I got my boys sports and go out bit often than stick front of the computer or watch on TV... Sports helps to rid of aggressive.
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Or, do you explain the dangers and consequences, and tell them "don't do it"?
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I prefer to educate and show them than just tell them "Don't do it".
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Some kids will disobey and rebel no matter what. But why give their disobedience your blessing?
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Depend on parental's form of discipline how to expose the children to disobey and rebel like this. That's why I am for open communication and listen.
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If drinking alcohol at their age is illegal but the parent allows it, what does the child learn? The child learns it's OK to break laws that you don't agree with.
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Well, the law is for public only, not at parent's house. 
I taught my children to respect/obey public law and respect/obey my house rule.
This is a difference.
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How do kids learn self control and self discipline?
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Oh yes they can only if the parents have good patience and talk them very calmly. Help them if they have problems. Use common sense and open mind with them then they will likely to listen their parents and show their understand and make them talk open to their parents easily. If you carry on treat them like that then they will know what right or wrong but keep receive No, no, no, no, punish, punish, scream... bad.... humiliation punishment, etc. etc. it solves nothing but harm self-esteem.
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