AllDeaf.com - View Single Post - Deaf-Hearing Marriage

UpstNYDesigner · 01-21-2007, 07:22 PM

Interesting topic. I have been through many relationships with all kinds. I am Deaf Caucasian (white) short guy. I have dated hearing, deaf, HOH. I grew up HOH till 2 and half yrs ago when I lost more hearing to menigre's D. I also dated Blacks, Caucasians, Native Americans, Latina, a Polyasian... Dated divorced, widowed, and singles all my life. Deaf-Hearing marriage is akin to Caucasian-Black marriage. Similar format of situations faced. However, the most important thing is LOVE. Love is greater than the apperance including Deafness or Hearingness. So what! Those 85 percent are sore losers because they forgot what love is. And forgot communication. Also Commitment they forgot. Yes, I understand about the "Deaf Language Barriers" out there. I went through one like that for a different reason. Anyway...

This is a good advise: Use the 4 Cs for Foundation of Marriage: Common (as in interests), Charity (love), Communication, and Commitment! Each C is like each corner of your basement (if any) that support the house. How can a house stand without foundation? Everyone knows this meaning even Jesus Christ spoke about foundation in Bible when he explained about something.

There is another subject I can share with you all. A long time ago, I wasnt happy with Deaf students when I was in school so I hated them. They teased me and picked on me because I am so smart and very preppy (remember 1980s?), talented, can talk very well like a hearing person, and has a attitude/personality like a hearing person. Still do!

I refuse to change myself because I am me. That is how I was raised!

Well, back to the deaf people thing.. I wanted just to date hearing girls but it was tough to get one. Then later, I was a little better with deaf girls.. the ones I didnt go to school with... it was ok but it was communication level. You see, they were too quiet and I tried to talk with them. They noticed I talk like being in an brillight conversation with some mensa types so that scared them away..

Later, I dated both side of the fence.. in 1990s.. I was trying to fit in with the right one.. but went through bad experiences that made me a better person and know better in dating scene. Each one a bit better but always switched over either to deaf or to hearing world...

It was not till this deranged woman from CT whom I met online turned me off and saw how immature that woman was. I had difficulty with the online stuff.. that is another whole story I already talked about here somewhere.. (see subject about dating online is bad for you)...I think that was the subject title.

Anyway, This nutcase stalked me is profounded deaf and really trouble. I can sense it in my heart she s dangerous for me. Well, I had enough with many immature deaf women I met. No offense deaf ladies, I just happened to meet many immature women who happened to be deaf.

Lately met more mature women who are hearing.. The last two ladies after I dumped that cockoo, it was better. Finally, I am on one side of the fence ever since.

You see, the point is know yourself and love yourself and know what love is with that motto (the advice I just mentioned about the 4 Cs.), things are looking up!

Those 85 percent needs to read this. I hope my book will help those 85 and I bet ya that it will drop lower out there.. More happily ever for deaf-hearing marriages. I know I will!

01-21-2007, 07:22 PM	#65 (permalink)
UpstNYDesigner Registered User Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 255	Interesting topic. I have been through many relationships with all kinds. I am Deaf Caucasian (white) short guy. I have dated hearing, deaf, HOH. I grew up HOH till 2 and half yrs ago when I lost more hearing to menigre's D. I also dated Blacks, Caucasians, Native Americans, Latina, a Polyasian... Dated divorced, widowed, and singles all my life. Deaf-Hearing marriage is akin to Caucasian-Black marriage. Similar format of situations faced. However, the most important thing is LOVE. Love is greater than the apperance including Deafness or Hearingness. So what! Those 85 percent are sore losers because they forgot what love is. And forgot communication. Also Commitment they forgot. Yes, I understand about the "Deaf Language Barriers" out there. I went through one like that for a different reason. Anyway... This is a good advise: Use the 4 Cs for Foundation of Marriage: Common (as in interests), Charity (love), Communication, and Commitment! Each C is like each corner of your basement (if any) that support the house. How can a house stand without foundation? Everyone knows this meaning even Jesus Christ spoke about foundation in Bible when he explained about something. There is another subject I can share with you all. A long time ago, I wasnt happy with Deaf students when I was in school so I hated them. They teased me and picked on me because I am so smart and very preppy (remember 1980s?), talented, can talk very well like a hearing person, and has a attitude/personality like a hearing person. Still do! I refuse to change myself because I am me. That is how I was raised! Well, back to the deaf people thing.. I wanted just to date hearing girls but it was tough to get one. Then later, I was a little better with deaf girls.. the ones I didnt go to school with... it was ok but it was communication level. You see, they were too quiet and I tried to talk with them. They noticed I talk like being in an brillight conversation with some mensa types so that scared them away.. Later, I dated both side of the fence.. in 1990s.. I was trying to fit in with the right one.. but went through bad experiences that made me a better person and know better in dating scene. Each one a bit better but always switched over either to deaf or to hearing world... It was not till this deranged woman from CT whom I met online turned me off and saw how immature that woman was. I had difficulty with the online stuff.. that is another whole story I already talked about here somewhere.. (see subject about dating online is bad for you)...I think that was the subject title. Anyway, This nutcase stalked me is profounded deaf and really trouble. I can sense it in my heart she s dangerous for me. Well, I had enough with many immature deaf women I met. No offense deaf ladies, I just happened to meet many immature women who happened to be deaf. Lately met more mature women who are hearing.. The last two ladies after I dumped that cockoo, it was better. Finally, I am on one side of the fence ever since. You see, the point is know yourself and love yourself and know what love is with that motto (the advice I just mentioned about the 4 Cs.), things are looking up! Those 85 percent needs to read this. I hope my book will help those 85 and I bet ya that it will drop lower out there.. More happily ever for deaf-hearing marriages. I know I will!