Am a profoundly deaf male, and have been married for 25-years to my hearie wife. She has a deaf brother. We've two hearie teenage daughters. However, I grew-up in a hearie world other than 3-years at a deaf school from 8th through 11th grade (skipped 10th grade), and 2-years at Gally.
I will say this, it takes a secure and confident deaf person to have a meaningful relationship with a hearie. If the deafie is a fluent lip-reader and able to verbally converse with hearies, all the better. In some cases, the hearie will try to become the dominative spouse or, if you will, the control freak. It depends on whether the deafie is proactive or passive in the relationship. We also have to accept our partners for what they actually are rather than what we want them to be. You can't change people although you do have to talk *with* rather than *at* each other.
Generally speaking, it's more about WHO you are than WHAT you are. As for hearie friends and family, no issues at all. Many within the deaf community were aghast that I married a hearie and didn't want anything to do with me afterwards. Probably just as well as they were too wrapped-up in their own little worlds to see the forest for the trees. :stupid:
However, if I was to do it again, would prefer a deafie/hard-of-hearie with ASL skills *if* the right one was available as we'd share the same identity, and would have more in common. Just be open and direct with one another, and you'll be richly rewarded.
