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Unread 11-05-2011, 04:39 PM   #32 (permalink)
shel90
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: A place where crabs are popular
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As someone whe grew up orally deaf, I dated and was in a marriage with someone who didnt sign. Didnt have great experiences with those dates nor with my marriage. I learned ASL and vowed never be involved with hearing men again but then again what I really meant with a non-signer. At the time I didnt realize what I was thinking. Now, I am married for the 2nd time to a hearing man but he is moderately fluent in ASL and it is so much easier.

I was a great lipreader but it required more work on my part than on my ex husband's to maintain clear communication. It felt like the burden was on me because I could speak so well so therefore I should be able hear just as well. Many people, especially my ex husband, couldnt understand that so a lot of miscommunication and blaming went on. I blamed myself and hated myself.

Now, I recognized that the burden shouldnt be all on me...if the hearing person wants to be in a relationship with a deaf person, then they should take on some of the willingness to accodomate to meet the deaf person's needs.
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