Hi Nancy! You're from the About.com Deafness forum right?
Glad to see you here!
Here is how I view it. Many audilogically hoh kids can aquire spoken language. Some of them may still have spoken language defiects or delays....Even unilateral hoh kids can be at risk for spoken language delays.
However, those of us who are hoh very rarely get the advantage of ASL and Deaf culture/Deaf ed.
We get told to assimulate into the hearing world, and that hoh kids don't "need" ASL.
If I had a buck for every single hoh poster who has come here saying " I wish I'd learned ASL and gotten to go to Deaf School. Instead all I got was speech therapy, and a front row seat."
Fact of the matter is that hearing aids/CIs work best in a one-on-one "best listening sitution" The world is NOT a soundbooth. There is a philosophy in the auditory verbal movement, that deaf kids have the right to grow up in typical listening and living situtions. There's nothing wrong with that.....but we do strongly believe that kids also have the right to attend schools/programs for the Deaf and learn ASL, and learn how to function both in the hearing and deaf worlds, as well as with and without their hearing aids/CIs.
It is a fact that the mainstream is too one size fits all. At a neighborhood
school, all she will get are minimal accomondations, with teachers who really don't know a lot about teaching kids with low incidence disabilties.
Every kid is different, and you do have to be very child centered .........but the thing is....Kids do not know about things like ASL or deaf schools/programs. You have to introduce those things to them...Heck, when I was little, I thought I was the only kid in the UNIVERSE who wore hearing aids.
One thing you should ask your husband....."isn't having two languages and the abilty to function fully both with and without her hearing aids, better then just having spoken English, and being able to function only with her hearing aids?