I am a 21 year old hearing female. Im married to my extremely wonderful and gorgeous deaf husband. I ove him so much and am very happy with him. ALthough the communication gets a little weak and I feel like I never say the right things I really feel like we will beat the 85% statistic I keep reading about on these posts. We have been together for 13 months now. Married since march and have a 2 month old son. My life was forever changed when I fell crazy in love with him. I have tried my best to learn sign and feel I have a pretty good understanding. But come on, I can only learn so much and remember it in 13 months, I don't say Im fluent. Although I am very proud of how far I have come. COmmunication is more important than anything, especially in our given relationship where there is a communication barrier.
Even tho I know a good amount of sign, I still feel like we have a huge gap between us. I dont always understand his humor. And the other way around. I also feel like when I try to explain my feelings he takes it the wrong way, usually when Im upset I just want him to listen and hug me and try to understand what Im saying, but it most always ends with no one talking and him thinking Im not happy with him. I feel like we are perfect for each other in so many ways, yet this is the hardest relationship I have been in and the one relationship that takes so much effort and strength just to keep it going. So many times I have just felt like saying f*&^ it and give up because thats the easiest thing to do. There is a big communication and understanding difference from other reltionships. I have never really spoken with a deaf person before. And within the last year, I have dated, moved in with, concieved a child, gotten married, learning to be a wife and mother and learn a different language. This is the most stressed relationship I have ever had but at the same time the most rewarding and happy relationship. I keep hoping that with time our misunderstanding will become fewer and fewer. ANd that maybe we will understand each other more emotionally but until then I am just going to try to keep being patient and keep staying strong. I am going to really enjoy the times when we do understand each other.
I hope that my writing has given advice to anyone else in this kind of relationship.
Feel free to email me to chat with me.
nicole_weaver@live.com