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I know the feeling. If wants/anyone expects you to stay anywhere, they need to be accommodating. I would have bought just a drink and stayed for about 15 minutes just to be polite.
My family and I sort of have this understanding of how I excuse myself from the table as soon as I'm finished eating, regardless of how far along everyone else is. It's because my family (as a group) doesn't speak slowly/clearly enough for me to follow at the dinner table (and they don't sign), so they can't expect me to stay out of courtesy if they don't have the courtesy to slow down for me. Although I usually stay anyway, as the conversations are easier to follow if I'm not preoccupied with facing my plate.
I'm so sorry it brought you to tears! I'm glad you got that rant out though. It reminded me of when my HA broke at my 7th grade graduation dinner and I hid in the bathroom at the restaurant until one of my friends came - I asked her to call my mom from the pay phone to pick me up. I was in that stall for 45 minutes and my dinner was turning cold on the table the entire time.
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